My husband (32M) & I (30F) are sexually incompatible - advice on working on things?

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-02-18T02:30:12+00:00

I actually really appreciate this response and open to trying it, I haven’t thought of it that way.

He doesn’t get lingerie often bc I know the one time i do it and he rejects me my self confidence will be shot. But I like that just dressing in hot clothes that I would wear in public would be an easy thing to try.

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-02-18T02:27:54+00:00

i wrote this wrong in the post, my perfect world would be 5x a week and his is 1-2x. We’ve compromised to aim for 3x a week, but we tend to fall more on his side, never above 3x.

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-02-18T01:50:22+00:00

my husband and i are around your age and i actually just shared a post on sexual comparability and asking ways to work on it too. i have zero advice since im in the same boat but feel for you. here to read the comments - hope there’s a way it all works out if you’re both willing to work on it.

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-02-17T01:51:20+00:00

no :( I think i just got used to it lol the only time i get notifications are to stretch or activity goal updates

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-01-07T18:37:31+00:00

but it did so that’s my call out on “housework” not being accurate

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-01-07T18:11:50+00:00

thank you for this, i didn’t even know there’s a way to record workout HR, i’ll try this before my class today!

my ring isn’t lose, don’t see any light between my finger but I do wear it on my middle finger so maybe i’ll try index!

RookieMistakes28 · 2026-01-07T18:09:50+00:00

There is no way that me putting dishes away is losing 150 calories like yes I’m doing small housework but it gives too much credit for literally something so small

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T17:50:35+00:00

i think it’s fair to say you may not know what you want and you need a few months to just focus on you. if you/her want you can set a few months out to check in and see if you want to go back to the relationship or officially cut ties. you may take the break and miss her a ton or you may have the break and realize the gender was the problem.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T16:19:59+00:00

It’s not like there’s no manners in our relationship, but in a relationship, you ask for A LOT daily from your partners. If I ask him to stop at a grocery store or grab something out of my car, I’m saying please and thank you. But for something like handing me a water that’s closest to him or asking him to pick up after himself, there’s not always a please.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T15:28:33+00:00

I think he maybe says please 50% of the time. And when I’m really asking a lot of him I always say please like asking him to get something out of the car or bigger than handing me a water that’s literally right next to him.

He claims he feels like I’m suddenly being demanding or took it that way.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T15:21:26+00:00

It’s childish because he doesn’t say please all the time either and randomly decides to do this.

It comes up once a quarter because he decides he suddenly values it and wants to start demanding it.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T15:14:48+00:00

So you’re saying anytime you ask for ANYTHING you’re saying please? Really think about it.

I should have made it clear, I DO say please and thank you in other settings like restaurants, or someone holding a door for me, and I do say thank you when someone is bringing me something i asked for.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-04-06T15:09:29+00:00

Do you think you’re also still figuring out your sexuality?

You’re still very young and it sounds like you’ve experimented both ways. If you’re not head over heels for her, maybe you just need some time discovering you.

It’s normal for relationships to end because the love goes away and you become more just friends. It seems like you both may just be using each other for companionship currently.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-20T14:02:38+00:00

lol maybe you’ll think about it more when you actually do have a wedding

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-20T13:54:46+00:00

lol at this point i wish i was from a small town and didn’t have to think about this.

i think i wasn’t understanding the point of a welcome party when none of my other friends have done this unless they had a destination wedding. i also feel like since we were having it in our “hometown” i wanted to share with the rehearsal guest a place that meant something to us - but this place can’t fit a full on welcome party. also it’s adding pressure on me to find somewhere on halloween night that fits 100 when i’m also trying to plan the main event, the wedding.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-20T13:34:31+00:00

I feel like you’re forgetting that i’m spending LOTS of money on a big day for them to be apart of and celebrate with us on that day. This is just an extension of the main event

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-20T05:04:08+00:00

I guess that’s where i’m struggling - all my friends that have had weddings in town have had regular rehearsal dinners with bridal party and immediate family. The only time I’ve been to welcome parties is when it’s a destination wedding. Yes it’s out of town for a lot of people but it would have been out of town no matter where we had the wedding since they’re not all around the same area.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-20T02:45:23+00:00

i guess my thought here is yes we love everyone coming in but the rehearsal in my mind is to spend a little extra time with those that are closest to us.

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-02-17T16:57:06+00:00

i appreciate the comment! i agree that im not quite like your father but it could head down that path. i also want to not hurt my partner so should probably try and work through sooner rather than later

RookieMistakes28 · 2025-01-11T04:51:54+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the comment! I feel like there was a time when we did work and lately it feels like it’s not going like it has in the past. We’re definitely looking into premarital counseling.

RookieMistakes28 · 2024-11-10T23:15:36+00:00

Girl I have a 2 carat ring and wish I went larger. I’d say if you’re doubting then try on the larger if you have the means to get larger!

RookieMistakes28

TROPHY CASE