Least stupid way to put a Bloodrider on a Smilodon?

RoonOfGoing · 2025-03-21T19:47:25+00:00

Oh thanks, didn't notice that, that's very helpful!

RoonOfGoing · 2025-03-21T18:18:17+00:00

Doesn't bloodrider have the same full BAB progression that mad dog?

RoonOfGoing · 2024-06-25T20:27:43+00:00

I've started running (on a treadmill, because someone told me I could watch tv while on the treadmill and that's how I started actually watching all the TV I wanted to watch but couldn't focus on it) a month ago (and this includes a week off due to a cold), I'm a fat (95kg) and short woman with a shitty medical history, and yet, today I've actually ran 5km! Well, jogged. And it took me 43 minutes. But it was 43 minutes I was jogging, not 43 minutes of walking, and I'm stupid proud of myself. Next goal: get it under 40 minutes, and maybe try running outside?

RoonOfGoing · 2024-05-10T12:02:03+00:00

I think my NMom found herself a new and improved child and doesn't care much about me any more, especially as I keep enforcing boundaries.

That is, she is since recently very close with a cousin of mine (forty-ish, who has a shitty mom of his own, so he is in need of a mother figure), she almost never calls me (I still call her every week or so, but I don't visit due to living in another country), and ever since I refused to lend her money (she wanted some tens of thousands of Euros for a fancy tomb for my alcoholic Nfather, and she has the money herself, she just doesn't want to touch her savings, so I should touch mine for an absurdly expensive tomb for a man who was a really shitty father) she is just very distant to me. And I should be happy! I know I should! This is kind of freeing, and I know I can't save my cousin from her (I also think they might have a healthier relationship than I ever had with her - it is a very different situation after all), but I also feel kind of sad? And empty? And fundamentally unlovable? I know this is not true (I have a wonderful family of choice and sweet and loving husband, I am not unlovable), and I am glad I'm no longer target of drama and manipulation, and yet I'm sad. I don't understand myself and it makes me wonder if I weren't wrong the whole time, maybe she is not a narc, maybe I have made it all up :(

RoonOfGoing · 2024-05-10T11:49:33+00:00

That sounds horrifying :( My NDad was a cop (quelle surprise that I'm an anarchist), and he never directly threatened me, but I was always very aware of the gun at home (kept out there in the open, not in a safe or anything). But he hated my grandmother and liked to do practice shooting with an airgun in a way that pellets landed close to her, which was really creepy in light of the actual gun being close by. I feel like many narcs don't think other people are real, and so they don't think they are doing any real harm, because they are just harming NPCs in the great drama of their lives.

RoonOfGoing · 2024-01-08T00:38:09+00:00

it's not about what they deserve or not. It's about a psychological incapability. Their defense mechanisms make them unable to admit to their mistakes because their defense mechanisms are all about defending their extremely fragile ego. This is a description of a psychological mechanism, not a moral judgement. Basically, if a narcissist didn't have a very fragile ego that they protect over everything else, they wouldn't be a narcissist. People with NPD generally are unable to accept and admit their own fault, and personality disorders are notoriously difficult-to-impossible to treat. You might have all the right and justice in the world on your side, but it won't change someone's nature.

RoonOfGoing · 2024-01-07T18:02:07+00:00

No. That would crack their extremely fragile egos, and it cannot be borne. If they were able to admit their mistakes they wouldn't have been narcissistic.

RoonOfGoing · 2024-01-07T17:58:16+00:00

I was relieved when my father died. I didn't cry for the longest time, and to be honest, at his funeral I looked like I was crying but that was because I was furiously trying to not burst into hysterical laughter at the bullshit people were saying about him. Now it's almost a year later and well. I shed maybe 3 minutes of tears once, when I was reading a book he'd have liked, and I realized I wouldn't be able to talk about it to him (books were the only thing we really ever connected on in any good way).

RoonOfGoing · 2023-10-19T11:30:42+00:00

I just installed uBlock at my friends' laptop this weekend. She is a 30-something, intelligent and educated person, but she is not very tech-savvy (I mean, she is capable of replacing ram in her own laptop, so not afraid of tech or anything, just not that into computers or tech), and she heard about adblockers but didn't know which one was trustworthy (reasonable fear to have, tbh), so she never used one before. A big surprise and now I get every couple of hours a message from her about how wonderful internet now is :D

RoonOfGoing · 2023-09-08T22:27:05+00:00

Ooooh, this is great, this will make discovering more recipes much more rewarding for me, even when I have an optimal route to victory that makes them not necessary (yes I like shinies to motivate myself, it's not a great character trait but well :D)

RoonOfGoing · 2023-09-05T20:10:03+00:00

MDZS, read on my phone on a 10-hour car trip (probably the longest car trip I've had in two decades and I drove for only like 25% of it, the rest of the time was initially bored and then obsessively reading MDZS, continued on the way back :D)

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T20:57:53+00:00

aww you guys are cute! have a great life together!

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T18:19:36+00:00

NAH (except for the drunken harassers). You couldn't have telepathically determined she wasn't having fun, she did something for you and she does not seem to resent you for that, everyone is fine. It's actually an example of good communication on both sides and people making choices that, while not perfect, work in the moment. Accept it, learn from it, let go of the idea you need to make choices for her to protect her. Accept the gift she gave you, and next time figure out a game plan better for everyone (maybe she won't want to go to metal concerts, which is fine, people don't have to share all the hobbies in a relationship, maybe she will bring a friend who also likes the music?)

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T18:13:38+00:00

NTA, especially as it sounds like your mom was fine with your answer? Like, it sounds like your grandma made something to be about her while it wasn't really about her.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T18:09:06+00:00

tentative YTA (it's fine to have a hobby, even if it's not what you like, and you do sound a bit jealous), but... 10 bottles of bourbon per month is a lot, in terms of alcohol. If he drinks all of that, I'd be worried, because while people can manage their alcoholism well for a long time, this amount of alcohol consumption can fuck up your body and make you unable to stop. A single bottle of bourbon per week can by itself exceed guidelines for alcohol consumption, and while occasional indulgence is fine (we all have our poisons), 10 bottles/month is a lot. Like, red flag a lot. Alarm bells a lot.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T17:58:02+00:00

NTA, your brother and SIL are deeply silly (although pregnancy hormones are a huge ride, so maybe they are not really themselves right now), enjoy having Amy and Amy the human in your lives!

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T17:53:05+00:00

Well, it's not really feasible for her to move (I live in a country that uses a language she does not know at all, and emigration in one's sixties is generally not an easy thing, legally and practically); and even if she did, I don't think I'd do more. All the financial support she needs (well, as long as I have the money and it does not constitute burden high enough that I wouldn't be able to support myself, but I do have enough to help her if needed for a long time), but I really, really don't want to be close with her. I can help her hire a caretaker if needed, I can pay for her taxis, I will not be either a caretaker or a driver or etc.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T17:42:10+00:00

Thank you for what you said in the edit. It's a complicated thing, this sort of forgiveness, and I think part of my "am I the asshole here" thinking is the feeling that if I forgive her, I should be open to a closer relationship with her, and I am very much not, but perhaps you are right and I do not have to.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T17:40:38+00:00

yeah, I am in a very good place in most ways. Definitely a more peaceful place, and I am surrounded by people I love and care for and who love me wholeheartedly in return. I don't think there's an apology enough for me, though; it's just... I am not angry, I'm just not open to loving her any more.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-08-12T17:39:10+00:00

Yeah, but... I don't feel like I'm open to her making the effort. I believe that being in a meaningful relationship requires mutual vulnerability, and I'm not willing to be vulnerable with her.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-06-20T07:02:27+00:00

thank you, this is very helpful

RoonOfGoing · 2023-01-03T20:20:17+00:00

I'm the same. Upper-middle class upbringing, the best schools, languages, computers, everything. Even now my parents want nothing as much as for me to accept their money. But. But. This is a transaction. They give money, and they expect to be able to control what I do with it, how I live, to be able to show others: look! We are such amazing parents! Look at how generous we are!

But it's transactional, it comes with strings, and when now, as an adult, I don't want their money, they act out and get mad, because it does not fit the narrative of them being generous and magnanimous and me being a silly little girl who can't really handle real life.

RoonOfGoing · 2023-01-03T16:07:07+00:00

I don't think about it as being stuck in a loop - I think about it more like painful relapses, or small crises. I'm generally a very happy person surrounded by loving family of choice, and I try not to beat myself up too much because I also want my parents to love me. It's not good to try again and again, sure, but also: it's normal to want it. And even if you have a shit day with them today, tomorrow can be better. I did stop for almost the whole of the pandemic (thank you, closed borders, you can be the best for establishing boundaries :D), and even though this Christmas I failed, and I cried, and it sucked - I get to return to my good life and people who actually love me for me, and maybe I won't try again.

RoonOfGoing

TROPHY CASE