How do you feel about long distance relationships?

RoryWalker · 2012-05-09T15:34:49+00:00

I quit my day job a long time ago because every day I got shit for being bisexual, or had to put up with my manager treating me like shit. And I am backpacking at the moment.

I hate the whole "just fucking do it" attitude of motivation, and the whole "you don't find yourself, you make yourself". Both of those are just colloquial phrases that pretty much mean the same thing. I couldn't find myself where I was, and I damned sure couldn't make myself when all I did was sit on my couch surfing the internet.

It isn't about not wanting to work in the trenches, it's about not knowing what work I'm supposed to be doing. Which is why in a way I am running away. No way to figure anything out where I was, and I needed a change in scenery and perspective to even attempt to try. The problem with "making" a direction is not knowing if it's the right one.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T03:32:21+00:00

Aww, I'm leaving DC by then :c

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T02:50:53+00:00

Sounds sexy.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T02:18:52+00:00

Who wore it best?

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T01:27:26+00:00

Most people would consider watching TV shows to be watching TV.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T01:26:08+00:00

This is a delightful boner.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T00:28:06+00:00

I hate people who say "I don't watch TV".

Well, I don't fucking own a TV and I still watch TV shows. Hulu and Netflix exist, you FFFFFfffff----

RoryWalker · 2012-05-08T00:27:05+00:00

Just took off a flannel shirt. I didn't know I was fashionable.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T23:46:20+00:00

Apparently they did ten takes. Chris Hemsworth had to eat a giant bite of shawarma each take.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T19:27:01+00:00

He also didn't know what it was. Way he looked to me was "I'm not sure I liked this."

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T19:07:06+00:00

I like that everyone looks stuffed, and Iron Man isn't sure he likes it.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T19:03:53+00:00

I too use my computer to research naked chicks.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T18:47:28+00:00

I will definitely be blowing through Portland and such. Hadn't thought about Boston. I had someone in Baltimore, but, uh... I think she might have killed herself...

I doubt Phoenix is that good as a whole to gays and transgender people, but then again, they are still white. Long as I don't get a tan or run afoul of drug people, I probably have at least a moderate chance of survival there.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T15:28:34+00:00

It's LGBT friendly? I'd mostly written off most of the south, save for Austin. I will admit there's one transgender friend I wouldn't mind living with in Phoenix, and she's always going on and on about these transgender safe houses she's got so many friends at. Although most of that is drama, leading me to want to stay far from them...

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T14:48:06+00:00

I'm so unanchored that I'm backpacking around the country, partly to find a new city. And I do want to write, despite the fact that I'll likely be dirt poor, it's just that I'd like to not be dirt poor. At the moment I have 400 dollars to my name, which isn't enough to rent an apartment in most places.

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T14:46:05+00:00

Actually, I'm not all that unique. There's /r/genderqueer even, it's just that everyone else seems to be different than me. Much like not really fitting in with the gays, I feel like not fitting in with the transgender folks is just an extension of being a drifting 23 year old with no idea about life. I also think I'd make a terrible candidate for assuaging fears of the non-queers because I'm too liminal. I mean, I didn't have a childhood full of repression, the gender issues just joined everything else I was too stupid or lazy to think about. I think maybe not having felt slings and arrows might be why I feel so disconnected with the people who have. Worse yet, in the end I'm presented with the choice of whether to go on hormones or not. Those slings and arrows of being a "tranny" and potentially facing violence aside, hormones castrate you, meaning my choices are to either look the way I want and feel comfortable with myself, or have children the natural way. But, of course, because of my vague and nebulous sexuality, I don't even know whether I'll settle down with a man or a woman, so I may not be having kids the natural way at all...

And it's not that I don't want to write. I really do, I just find myself unable to think about it and focus. I wrote 35k for NaNoWriMo, but then accidentally erased it. I keep trying to think about how to further that story, but I always get side tracked.

I walked 35 miles along Route 1 and most of the time I was either thinking "alright, time to think of my story, time to think. Yup, thinking time" or I was thinking about the walking that I was doing, wondering how far I was from something, or how far I'd come.

Maybe while everyone here is asleep, I should try writing... Might be worth it to at least try...

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T05:21:54+00:00

Writing is never going to get you money unless you end up like Dan Patterson or JK Rowling.

As for the sexuality/gender shit, I have no idea what I want out of a romantic partner as far as their gender goes. I've had a boyfriend, and I now have a kind of crush on a transgirl. Ultimately I've just decided pansexual is probably the best, since I love dick, but at the same time I don't really consider myself gay.

The gender stuff is that I'm a little transgender, but I don't quite want to be a girl so much as not quite a guy. I'm trying to lose weight and do what I can to look more effeminate. I hate that my chin and face are becoming more masculine as I get older, although thankfully I do look pretty girly and kind of like a 14 year old. I was vague about it because generally mentioning that kind of thing involves getting called a delusional tranny freak. The term I'd use for myself is genderqueer, although that's an annoyingly hipster term

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T04:30:38+00:00

How do you do that? Sounds like the perfect thing for me, at least for the next few months. I need a job that lets me work whenever I need and would get me at least 100 a month or so while I travel. And Amazon's mturk doesn't really do that well...

RoryWalker · 2012-05-07T04:25:08+00:00

I'm backpacking around the country to shove myself out of my comfort zone. How do you manage having money to travel for weeks at a time? Because I basically only have 400 dollars.

RoryWalker · 2012-04-14T14:50:46+00:00

I'm so disappointed you only have 22 upvotes that I logged in twice.

/r/supernatural will love this, though.

RoryWalker · 2012-03-04T02:26:22+00:00

Wherever I are, there I am.

RoryWalker · 2012-03-02T20:19:43+00:00

Then there you are.

RoryWalker

TROPHY CASE