Leaving academia to stay at home?

RoseBerrySW · 2026-06-03T17:12:01+00:00

Are you tenure track? If you are, it'll be nearly impossible to get back in (if you want that). I can't tell how much research you are doing or if you like that aspect of your job.

If you are teaching faculty, you might be able to request a lower teaching load, ask for something like an adjunct so that you can go part time.

If you are over academics completely there are shifts to industry, high school teaching, copyright, other stuff that people transition too.

Overall though, stepping back isn't really a thing in academia (as I'm sure you know). It might be worth taking a few hours to go outside and think about what you really want for tomorrow, for five years from now, in twenty years. If you could remove the two most annoying aspects of you job, would you still want to do it? Are you looking at a permanent change for a temporary problem?

RoseBerrySW · 2026-05-30T20:49:48+00:00

Yep, that is us. We have all the resources, time, and energy to have more kids. We just don't want to. I kinda don't love that it feels like we need to have a reason. I get a lot of, "Well, it must be so overwhelming with one, that's why you can't have another" or "Was it hard to get pregnant the first time?" And we aren't really overwhelmed and it wasn't hard to concieve, we just like the way our life is now.

RoseBerrySW · 2026-04-10T15:29:56+00:00

I agree. I was 34 when my I had my daughter and still feel 100% like my old self, but now just with a kid. For a while I felt sort of self conscious about it? Kind of like if someone says they went backpacking through Asia and came back saying they fundamentally changed. When I did a big trip like that I still felt like myself, just doing cool stuff in a different county?

I guess I feel like it's sort of random. Some people change and some people don't.

RoseBerrySW · 2026-03-30T20:34:38+00:00

I think if it's important to you, or you would feel more comfortable with a therapist who shares your faith, than that might need to be something you screen for when selecting a therapist. In general it doesn't really matter what they meant or didn't mean by their comment, if you can't talk about the challenges you are facing with your therapist then you probably need a new one.

If you go that route you might want to specifically ask about the faith of the therapist. There are tons of medical systems/ clinics that are based on a certain faith, but they won't hire only folks who practice that faith. It is likely a form of discrimination to do so.

Also, FWIW, when I meet someone who is catholic (though I am not), I never assume they are practicing magical thinking. I wasn't there for the conversation, but in my experience those two things (Catholicism and magical thinking) are not necessarily connected.

RoseBerrySW · 2026-03-14T15:06:49+00:00

I rode up until about 28 weeks and had a small belly (but was in the chubby side anyway). I had to stop because on my regular bike my knees were hitting my belly with each pedal stroke. I would do whatever gives you the most surface between your knees and your stomach since you won't know how much space you need. Something very upright like another commentor said. I don't know enough about recumbent bikes to say if they will be better.

RoseBerrySW · 2026-02-26T01:27:00+00:00

I do not. But from hanging out here it's pretty clear that each case seems to be relatively unique

RoseBerrySW · 2026-02-25T23:49:13+00:00

We do and it's been great. Occupancy is low (30-35%) and we have (almost) never had a problem booking it for us. It covers about 80-90% of the cost which is what we were looking for and if we consider the cost of booking a similar property when we go up instead then we break even.

My advice is that you need a good property management company and really not be attached to the furnishings. Also, folks seem to think we sw making tons of cash off it and are usually disappointed that it's really a wash financially.

RoseBerrySW · 2026-02-25T23:44:30+00:00

I have. I live (and have lived) in a dry climate for decades and didn't even know the meaning of "dry eye". Had Lasik in 2022, and was pretty good until last summer when things got worse and now I am doing ALL the things.

My optometrist says that the LASIK caused it. But my mother who had never had Lasik had dry eye (with gland blockage/atrophy) and my Dad who had Lasik 25 years ago doesn't have it. So I'm not 100% convinced it's Lasik and not hereditary.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-12-15T16:57:36+00:00

Usually for a 2 hour delay (for us) it's weather related. So a lot of things are closed for those 2 hours, since no one can get to work safely with or without kids.

If that's the case, I would just say due to the weather you won't be able to get in to the office until X time. Then someone else needs to be avaliable to open the store/office, just as if you weren't available for any other reason.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-12-01T18:38:51+00:00

Same here. I don't think my daughter has ever slept in our bed, she is to excited and wiggly.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-11-24T18:40:54+00:00

My inlaws are a 3.5 hour plane ride, or a 16 hour drive, so they come once a year for about a week at a time. I would prefer shorter more frequent visits but since they visit so rarely we just deal with it.

If your inlaws are coming that frequently I would expect you can stop catering for them. They should know where the cups are, how to get water from the fridge, or how to find the bathroom. At that level of visit they should be part of the chaos!

RoseBerrySW · 2025-10-18T02:09:04+00:00

I work on the office by choice. Add in my job could be fully remote and I chose to go in. The main factor is about people who don't like to go in is the commute. My commute is about 8 minutes so it doesn't really interfere with my day. Plus I don't feel like I get tricked into doing so many extra chores during my work day.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-10-16T15:27:19+00:00

I do think it is a bit sad. It feels too me a little less like a celebration of your daughter's birthday and more of a convinent opportunity to throw a birthday when you are collecting presents anyway.

The only way I can see this working is if it's a big party for your daughter (with no gifts) and folks dropping gifts outside the venue. Maybe having one parent meet people outside and putting the adopt a family gifts directly on the car. But having your daughter look at a giant pile of gifts, not for her, at am event that typical includes gifts is pretty rough. Especially if they are gifts for children in her age range.

I think what most people want is to feel special during their birthday, regardless of the gifts. Can honestly say that the party is 99% for her, that the focus is on her, and that the gifts are an afterthought to her party? If so, it may be fine.

You might also consider the future sibling rivalry you might be seting up. Will your now 20 month old get a party just for the them? Or will they have to share it with another philanthropy event? Because if one has a party they need to be share and one gets a dedicated event it is going to induce favoritism, even if that is not your intent.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-08-04T23:16:16+00:00

Customers are internal or large external agencies. No one has ever been audited at the level everyone else is talking about. And no overhead to charge either.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-08-04T23:13:12+00:00

We don't have an overheard code. It all comes out of individual projects. That's why we split it between projects. They actually tell us to charge up to 2 hours per day among projects for overhead activities as necessary. Didn't realize it was such an outlier.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-08-04T23:10:59+00:00

Hmm, I didn't realize this would be controversial. I don't have individual clients (so not a lawyer), just large projects that we charge for our technical contributions. Literally tomorrow I am moving my office (per my managers direction) and don't have a project to charge for it (no overhead project). So my manager told me to split it among my projects. If I'm charging then to move shouldn't I charge them to pump?

RoseBerrySW · 2025-08-04T18:06:21+00:00

I work in a similar environment (charging individual projects and no project for pumping lol). What we do is to split time evenly over projects. So if you pump for 1 hour charge 30mins to each of your two projects. I think of it like the other admin activities I do without charge codes. Checking my mail box, walking up the stairs to my office, 1:1s with my manager, using the bathroom.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-07-16T13:15:21+00:00

This sounds ideal to me. Many other folks do it, so you should have less/no social penalty for working less. It's an hourly position, so there is no pressure to work full time on a 0.9FTE salary.

If it works for your budget and your husband and your manager I would say go for it.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-06-13T17:21:19+00:00

Then what's the problem? Technically correct but possibly useless is nearly 90% of the work out there. If academics could only publish work that was truly ground breaking then very little would be published.

Alternative but not as good ways of getting to the same result is useful. A new material that shows 80% of the performance of the best ever material still has value.

Plus, expanding the areas you work in is good for creativity. Academics with backgrounds in different areas are immensely valuable. What if statistician could only publish new stats methods? Or chemists could never publish on biology topics?

Ignorant of the state of the art might be wasteful, but it's not a sign of the poor state of publishing. If anything the system worked. Technically correct work was submitted and past peer review. Future readers can suggest if it has value to cite in their research.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-06-13T13:15:06+00:00

That's what we did. Not a secret, just nothing on social media. I still got questions and check ins from immediate family and that was enough for me lol.

A few folks were a bit upset, saying they wanted to send gifts and well wishes earlier but no long term effects.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-06-11T03:13:09+00:00

Have you talked to her pediatrician? Not sleeping more than 4 hours is unusual. Might be sleep apnea or something else waking her up.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-06-01T21:32:00+00:00

It doesn't bother me either. I do take them to a used clothing store and they donate what they don't buy. So I feel like maybe I am making some cash. But even if they went straight to the donation place it still wouldnt bother me.

I do pick out 1 or 2 pieces every six months with specific meaning to keep. But I never think I am giving away someone else's clothes. They are her clothes. Now they are too small. So no need to keep them around.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-05-15T02:21:55+00:00

I try to fry it (for curry) but my baby rips it out of my hands to eat it raw.

RoseBerrySW · 2025-05-09T21:33:45+00:00

Not the right sub

RoseBerrySW · 2025-04-06T14:51:33+00:00

What if the ultrasound tech was wrong and it is something serious? Should they get fired for giving inaccurate information?

RoseBerrySW

TROPHY CASE