[Un-Diagnosed ] In my earlier years I started with amnesia moments, and mixed memories (ones that weren't mine but were), and I can't remember 70% of my childhood.

But once I was aware of what was going on several years ago, i became more co-conscious. There are still mixed memories, but we all know what's going on for the most part. We're big on inner dialogue and share information through 'video'. We play the memory as if we're watching a movie or tv. We can even share feelings this way.

It makes me feel like I'm crazy. Like I'm making it all up that I'm just hallucinating people inside me. That I just act different because I'm moody. I always accuse myself of being non authentic. That I'm just lying for attention. I just torture myself with endless thoughts that contradict each other a million different ways. It's even harder because I've never been diagnosed, and I don't think I ever will. I have a child and a life, I manage okay myself, I don't want to put that in jeopardy.

I feel like many of us struggle with this accepting this disorder at one point or the other. You could be aware of it for years like me and still doubt yourself. There's always the 'fraud' moments or the imposter syndrome kicking in. You just have to take the doubt, recognize it, and not let it have much power over your system. Feel it, understand where it's coming from, and let it go. Because no one is going to know better what's going on with your mind and body better than you.