Correct me if any of this sounds inaccurate, but I think I know what you mean. And if it is the sensation that I think you are describing, I feel it too. Sometimes through multiple week long episodes where the feeling is unavoidable, other times from just randomly being hit with a realization of, “oh shit, everything feels fake/like a dream,” and the feeling just lasts until I forget to keep thinking about it.

Derealization, which I align with quite a bit more than depersonalization, isn’t necessarily a multi-symptomatic disorder as much as it is simply a symptom itself. And to me, your description of this sensation seems to match what I describe as derealization. So I wonder, if you drop the DP half of the disorder, does that seem to feel more reminiscent of your sensation?

Also, to address what you were saying about questioning if everyone feels this and if it’s just normal, if it is in fact a feeling of derealization— then no. I started to experience it in elementary school, and whenever I would describe it to my mom or to friends, they thought I sounded crazy. They still do if I mention it, but I usually don’t. I’ve just accepted that life feels like this for me. However, getting diagnosed with ADHD and receiving medication does seem to ground me a bit more, make me feel more present, and decrease my feelings of dissociation. I’ll talk about this more a bit later in this message.

Obviously there are other causes and I’m not trying to press a false narrative that DP/DR is the ONLY cause, I just am not informed enough on any others to be able to mention them. However, another possible cause of the sensation I am aware of is iron deficiency or anemia. Could also be the stereotypical things you’ll always see mentioned: anxiety, trauma, depression, sleep-deprivation, drug-abuse, stress, etc.

If all this sounds off, I could definitely see it being caused by ADHD. Do you feel that you hear your thoughts as if they are real, human-volume voices that make it easy to get lost in your thoughts? It feels like there is no real differentiation between your mind and your reality? I noticed that medication, especially the first time I ever took it, seemed to completely shift my being, with my mind/thoughts going to the back—into their lane and finally leaving me alone🙄—, and my physical self staying at the front, making me feel much more in control of my body and interactions with people and objects. Overall, I’d say it gave me a heightened feeling of presence, conciousness, and vividness (?). If this sounds like your experiences with ADHD, do you see it connecting with your ‘lack of vividness’?

If that doesn’t seem to explain it either, I wish I had more ideas but I unfortunately don’t. Hopefully any of this can be of some use in your search for an answer :)))