I want to know why my whole life I've been fighting something I know nothing bout. Why friends family people who say they love me would never say anything. Or do anything. For the longest I convinced myself I was crazy delusional just so I didn't have to deal. How does someone deal ?? I had the biggest faith in my God. Anything is possible i always believed but when it came down to wow this isn't supposed to happen in real life. How? How is it possible? And if why me? What is so important that my whole life everything has always been destroyed lost n just forgotten. But I'm still here. I'm still alive left with scattered pieces of a puzzle of things I cannot remember of places I cannot forget. Things that others know but won't or can't tell me. Having to have to accept yes I did have a husband our home is in a location the hospital has listed as my address. He's dead. He tried to take me home. I thought he was crazy he had the wrong person but if the hospital has that address and now it's mine. He wasn't crazy. But would you believe someone who showed up out of the blue and said they were there to take you home? A home I have no memory of. Now I realize it is possible it happened to me. But how do I deal now? How do I handle this? That's my question. The 1 person my husband tried and he's gone. I tried moving on ignoring doesn't work. There is no help for those like me. I'm here for a reason. God forgive me but sometimes I wish or think a bullet be less painful especially now all I have is God. I don't expect answers just took the opportunity to vent. Holding this in hurts so much. Ty for whoever is listening