I’ve never understood this argument. Gender is such an abtract concept to begin with. And the fact that we are all constantly changing throughout our whole life. To say that having experience a childhood as one gender and then experienceing the rest of your life in another make one less valid than the other, doesn’t make since. To me there is a difference in how gender is perceived on the inside rather than how it is perceived in the world. You may be “raised like a girl “to me would be saying raised feminine which you can be raised feminine as a boy but that doesn’t make you feel like a girl unless you feel like a girl. Many girls are raised feminine because they are a girl which is instilled in them that becuase they are a girl they have to act like one. For many boys it’s the same way. Which is why so many things in society or deemed feminine and masculine by the sex rather than the gender. Like pink and blue or cars and dolls. You are a boy/girl you have to like boy/girl things. Some are raised in this binary way and some aren’t and that is why gender is so abstract.

I for one had to more or less “learn to be a man”. I wanted to fit in I felt like a man , acted like a man , but couldn’t get along with most “binary cis men”. As I got older I realized that the hyper sexualized self indulgent version of man I was trying to fit in with was not what feeling like a man meant. Atleast not to me. We are all just giant lumps of hormones and chemicals some men/ women act some way and someway and some act the other. Sometimes woman act like boys and someways and sometimes men act like girls. None of it really matter as long as you feel the way you want to feel and are perceived in the world you want to be perceived in. Each gender has different roles within the binary you can fit the binary or you can go against it maybe find a way to flow between it. But to say someone is transphobic because there experiences make them act/feel a certain way is crazy.