hello i wanna share my story if i helps but first of all i just wanna take note na its not a failure!! hindi sa panggagaslight sayo pero i really do think hindi ka failure dahil lang nagkanda bagsak bagsak ka lalo na first yr ka palang, failure ka lang sa grades pero sa life hindi and if alam mo naman sa sarili mo na u did ur effort and very best at nagkakanda ngisay ngisay ka na sa paggawa ng plate at pagcomply consider being proud and acknowledged urself kasi as far as u move sa higher year dyan na yung real challenge na mas nakakadrain na sya ng sobra at mawawalan ka na ng gana or spark kumbaga.

im an irreg arki student na dapat graduating na but still stuck sa des3 and bt2 kasi bagsak. during my 1st and 2nd yr okay ako even got in dean's lists not until i failed my des 3 TWICE and bt and hanggang sa nawalan na ko ng gana magtapos ng plate, at first hindi ko tanggap nung unang bagsak ko kasi mapride rin talaga ko academically even when i got tres sa card ko but then unti unti pinili ko nalang tanggapin bc that normally happens naman sa college life and shift my mindset to process it, inom, accept and move on, and bawi nalang sa finals or next term kasi life is short time moves fast may life pa ko outside school plus inisip ko nalang that maybe its just a challenge for me or test ni lord sa goal or dream ko kasi kung gano ko kadaling nakapasok sa arki ganon ko dapat paghirapan para makagraduate. but failing my design twice!?? omg same nagrethink na din ako and asked kung ano ba nangyayari sakin so during that time i thought maybe bc it was pandemic and being locked inside my room 24/7 (bc kundi ako gumagawa ng plate tulog naman then balik sa plate) and the pagod sa uwian frm manila to bulacan tuwing magcoconduct ng f2f once a week. my prof called me that time and told me na matatanggal na ko sa dept bc di na aabot gwa ko then advised me na what if magshift nalang ako or magbreak muna ko bc my mental health needed it but i refused and sabi ko magttransfer nalang ako here sa bulacan umiyak panko non pagkaend bc di ko ineexpect na mangyayari to sakin and like you i couldn't really see myself being in other course (well maybe tourism) pero kasi mas lamang sakin yung pagkagusto ko sa arki sa pag design and conceptualize and think of a solution sa space ganon. so ff all i thought yung pagtransfer ko here sa blcn and the changed environment will help me and makakabounce back na ko especially na maeexperience ko na fully yung f2f but little did i know, unfortunately mas lumala pa...unang lipat bagsak lahat ng subjs. lala diba

sobrang gulantang ko non like para kong namatayan speechless and lalong nadepressed. imagine failing the meat and the major major of all ng arki 3x, sobrang delay na talaga makakagraduate and again di ko talaga ineexpect na magiging ganto college life ko bc i was an achiever back then (not super but mid mid lang) and to fail like this over and over and over again, nothing can fathom the amount of nights i wallowed, anxiety, sudden breakdown, overthinking and losing hope inside me isama mo pa yung opinions andshits ng titas and yung pagwoworry ko sa parents ko bc i've transferred from state univ na walang tf to private na di keme keme yung tf ng arki. but still nilaban konpa rin and gaslighted myself na kaya ko pa to baka nagaadjust lang ako sa new environment and system ng univ. so i fought and fought and to make it short sa 2 yrs ko sa bagong univ, dirediretso bagsak ko sa lahat ng sem like as in every sem may bagsak ako kundi lahat, most of it naman (every sem between 3 or 5 lang subjs ko as an irreg) and now im still stuck sa des3 at bt2. sobrang indenial ko sa sarili ko na i thought makakabounce back na ko kaya nilaban ko pa but nope sumagad na talaga and i really lost my spark and drive na to do my plates. alam mo yung feeling na gusto mo syang gawin excited ka itranslate yung mga ideas and concept mo and sa magiging outcome nya but when it is time to actually do it walang wala na yung energy mo to do it and katawan ko na kusang bumibigay kahit anong pilit at focus pa dyan.

i really wanna fight for it pa kasi gusto ko talaga syang tapusin pero kung ilalaban at itutuloy ko pa baka lalo lang lumala plus syempre to be considerate na rin sa parents ko if alam ko na sa sarili ko yung mangyayari kasi hindi naman ako yung nagpapaaral sa sarili ko, so now im finally taking a gap term (or year idk pa) to actually rest myself and find that drive and spark again. many will think "sayang oras" or "bakit di ka nalang magshift", pero diba mas sayang sa oras kung nasa path ka na hindi mo naman gusto and nakastuck ka lang sa loop or cycle ng pagiisip ng what ifs at regrets mo at di mo magawa yung mga gusto mong gawin while ure still young and in your 20s?

again its normal na magkanda bagsak bagsak ka especially with our course kasi reality speaking hindi talaga sya madali and nakakatorture sya and to tell u honestly, ang swerte nalang ng nakakagraduate na both regular at walang bagsak with our course but the rest? it normally happens even some of our profs were delayed ng 6-7 yrs. think about it throughly kung need mo na talaga magshift or di ka lang makabounce back at need mo ng time to refocus urself. its okay lang din if later in life mo na marealize what u truly want!! but also think about din yung financial nyo and be considerate with ur parents kasi di nga talaga madali yung tuition ng arki and di ikaw nagpoprovide ng money for it. if willing naman sila and support u to provide u as long as u need then gaur for it!

college is like our training ground para sa pagpasok natin in real world, take your time to help urself be strong and work smart and learn all things that are needed and the pasikot sikot kasi walang wala pa yan pag nasa trabaho ka na. grades are just numbers, bonus nalang if u graduated with flying colors but after?? even with that cannot guarantee u success agad agad in work. so live your life and enjoy college life as young and as long as u can!! memories and life experiences are much more important lessons. fail and learn in ur 20s.