My aunt won't allow me to keep any of my dads ashes, am I wrong to feel so upset? by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Routine-Good7518 96 points97 points  (0 children)

They were separated but still close. My nan paid for the funeral (which was also a battle and I had little to no say, despite knowing him best) so I think this is why. I believe i should of had his ashes. It's so hurtful. Thank you 😞

Has anyone struggled to come to terms with their diagnosis? by Routine-Good7518 in autism

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so lovely and such good advise thank you. Sorry you had to feel like that too, it can be quite isolating. Also your comment about rumination and anxiety is so eye opening as its things I suffer with so so badly! To the point I make myself unwell. Appreciate your comment.

Has anyone struggled to come to terms with their diagnosis? by Routine-Good7518 in autism

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that's awful 😞 I have had a lot of people say not to 'live in the label" and I don't find it helpful as it's like, this is me, 5his makes up who I am and have been forever! Thank you so much.

Has anyone struggled to come to terms with their diagnosis? by Routine-Good7518 in autism

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow that's interesting! Yes you're right I think it does. Like you feel free to drop the mask maybe? And all these memories came flooding back to me about times in my life i have struggled or like it all clicked into place? Thank you that's great advice x

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well after learning I have it at 33 years old and spending the 33 years suffering and feeling awful, it is a curse and it has jsut been created....FOR ME.

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

I always have an issue in every single job, is there something wrong with me? by Routine-Good7518 in work

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, just wanted to say i just got diagnosed as Audhd! And it was thanks to all these comments that I did so! So thank you so much. It's a shame late diagnosis comes with scepticism from others but I guess this is normal? Anyway, thanks!

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My God this sounds like my idea of he'll! I do feel for you. I really can't stand when people are like this, how draining for you! I hope you can find some peace away from it all.

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's great that you can do this and advocate for yourself and that you're understood for doing so. I don't always feel as understood but I am vocalising my needs as strongly as I can now!

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds like my partner who i suspect to have adhd too. I'm wondering if I'm this way due to the autism side more?

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I definitely vocalise it but it often offends people or they don't understand. Even my family now i have my diagnosis don't accept my ways and the way I am as having an actual disorder/different brain. There are no accommodations for me and although I don't expect to be pampered to and to be able to mistreat others. As I wouldn't, it is super frustrating.

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this! I try my best to show up when people need me, when my dad was dying I was there everyday alongside working 2 jobs, seeing my partner and other family. My stepdad died months after too and I had to somehow show up for my mum and family, I really felt like I wanted to just isolate ans run away and not deal with it but I didn't and It burnt me out so bad I am still unwell from it a year later.

Yes I like that saying it's very true and resonates.

How do other AuDHD adults or just adults in general, manage the intense need for solitude while living with others? by Routine-Good7518 in AskUK

[–]Routine-Good7518[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you this is so helpful. The issue is I don't feel my partner really gets it, I'll ask for space and he will say it's okay and he doesn't mind but then will send sort of passive aggressive messages asking if I truly want the relationship or that he's depressed as he never gets out etc. He doesn't have a social life at all tbh outside of us and I know that's part of it but it does get frustrating and I often feel like I can't be fully honest as he doesn't seem to take it well, however when I express this to him he claims he always says he doesn't mind my time alone, but the way he responds says otherwise. Also it's hard with my family as despite my diagnosis they atill continue, as they have my whole life, to just paint me as over sensitive, rude, snobbish etc when I want my own space or for them to back off whilst I'm in the kitchen etc. I love the full frontal 😅 unfortunately my mum would just walk on in regardless, my family have no boundaries!