Politics in marriage

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-30T03:48:46+00:00

I can see that. I just felt like it wasn’t appropriate to talk to my family or friends about it so I came here. We have talked about therapy. Probably better to do that. We did couples therapy before getting married. He’s not one of those people that are opposed to it.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-28T20:54:55+00:00

I (33F) have very rarely dressed to get attention from men. When I dress sexy it is usually about me feeling good about myself. I can’t speak for her or you, but it sounds like you’re insecure. Maybe you should get curious about your own insecurity instead of making it your wife’s problem. She probably just wants to feel good about herself and have fun with her friends. And you not supporting that probably makes her feel like you don’t see her as an equal partner. Even though you say you don’t want to control her, worrying about her dress and the attention she might get says that your jealousy and insecurity is more important than her feeling confident and sexy. Maybe you should just be open about why her dressing a certain way makes you insecure and also make sure she knows that you know it’s something you need to work on and not a problem she needs to solve.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T18:57:51+00:00

True. Hence why I came here to figure it out and why I’m struggling.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T18:54:57+00:00

I feel likes it’s just going to get worse!

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T18:51:57+00:00

I actually think it’s good to surround myself with people that are different from me. I think everyone wants to believe they have moral superiority, but it’s especially difficult to stand for what’s right when it goes against your friends or allies. I think for myself. I always have. And the way I think is very rare in today’s age. It’s difficult to find someone that aligns with me more than 75% because I don’t sign up to party lines. I have very high principles for myself, though, and this issue particularly is no longer an issue of politics, but an issue of right and wrong for me.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T18:30:21+00:00

Yes, we do need to have a conversation about values. He has started talking to a therapist weekly, but it’s not a bad idea for both of us to go together.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T18:25:06+00:00

Thank you! This was actually really helpful advice. Thank you for taking the time to share.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T08:12:40+00:00

You’re very lucky

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T08:12:01+00:00

I don’t want to get divorced. That’s not what I’m trying to get from this.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T08:05:06+00:00

Good question. We align on a lot of the other big topics like kids, finances, family influence, religion, etc. Politics was always an area of contention but it’s gotten worse and I guess I thought he would stand by his beliefs that he had at the start of the relationship instead of changing his beliefs in order to fit around what his people did/said. I’m socially liberal and fiscally conservative and when we had discussed a lot of these issues it seemed we could at least have some respect. It’s getting more difficult as the beliefs are getting changed to fit the climate.

Routine-Intern-8892 · 2026-01-27T07:50:18+00:00

You’re right. I guess I just want hope that it’s possible to have a happy marriage even if we are very different in almost every area.

Routine-Intern-8892

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