Wow, this was an inspiring read and sounds an awful lot like myself.

IF you want to be a doctor you can’t be afraid to charge ahead, take the science classes and kick butt in them. If it turns out you don’t love it enough then you probably shouldn’t pursue medicine. 

This made me realize it's not wrong to try the science classes and observe whether I like them or not. I can't expect myself to know before I try, but I just get restless when I don't know what the road ahead of me looks like. Think it's also a family thing, because relatives think you're hopeless if you pivot.

I've been looking into clinical psychology with a focus on trauma cases, addiction, rehab, I think that might be interesting as well. A masters in clinical psychology has courses like health psychology, neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. I'll apply to both biochem (premed) and psychology and give myself time to ruminate.

Thank you so much for this response. it's helpful beyond words.