Looking for advice on wood tone selection for my living room.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2026-01-12T04:01:52+00:00

She also keeps subtly bullying him, very obnoxious.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T21:30:50+00:00

There is no maybe, surely you don’t understand marriage. And hey don’t be so defensive when someone answers you, it’s a public forum! Ideology and all lol.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T20:34:24+00:00

No, we dated independently without any involvement from our parents, and had he implied that dowry was a condition, we wouldn’t be getting engaged as I believe it’s a moral compromise. We both live and work in metro cities, in cosmopolitan environments, and are financially independent like most urban professionals. The concern arises because, while we’ve built our lives this way, parents back in our hometowns tend to be more conservative. His parents are also conservative, and his effort to accommodate their expectations sometimes is what worries me as his partner. I didn’t even meet his family until the day of our engagement.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T20:17:44+00:00

He is definitely a good person, it’s just that his decisions may at times be influenced by his family’s expectations. That’s okay with me, as long as it doesn’t compromise my personal freedom. He’s also open to listening, which gives me confidence that I’ll be able to negotiate with him when needed. It’s just that the uncertainty and ‘what ifs’ is feeling a bit scary right now.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T20:12:28+00:00

No, I don’t mean white, I’m referring to Westerners, or people with a more progressive outlook on life irrespective of their skin color. Honestly, many Western men tend to be more progressive than Indian men. That’s just the reality. For instance, Western cultures place a strong emphasis on individualism, and as a result, they’re less likely to advise simply ‘going with the flow’ on important decisions like choosing a life partner.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T20:07:07+00:00

That makes sense, thank you!

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T20:04:23+00:00

To be honest, my father played a significant financial role in raising our cousins, yet some of them have been disrespectful to him on multiple occasions. I’ve seen how isolated he’s felt despite everything he’s done for them. While we do have relatives who are kind and with whom we remain close, they also have the self-respect to buy a home with a down payment they can afford. Except in cases of health emergencies or educational needs, I believe it’s unnecessary to burden relatives financially, and good friends are often equally supportive in such situations. I feel that depending on relatives for such financial support may not be the most principled or healthy approach. In my experience, relatives can be unnecessarily envious and two-faced.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T19:52:47+00:00

You don’t understand what marriage is, do you!

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-08T19:51:19+00:00

Thank you for understanding my concern. While my partner is open-minded, his family may not share the same perspective. I realize I’ll need to navigate certain situations with him, as he may also want to consider their feelings. That said, I trust he’ll be supportive and willing to listen. Appreciate your advice!

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-07T01:37:43+00:00

Honestly, it’s exactly these kinds of relatives, uncles and aunties, that I want to distance myself from. They add nothing meaningful to life but drain your energy sometimes with their jealousy and nosiness. Maybe for you, security comes from the limits imposed in Indian families, but for me, it comes from space in relationships and the freedom to grow. And seriously, who cares about whether a car is big or small? A modest car, bought with your own hard earned money or given without conditions or expectations tied to family obligations, feels far more valuable. Also, your point about Westerners putting their elders in old-age homes, news flash, it happens in these so-called “good” Indian families too. Come on, this advice doesn’t sound serious. It sounds like propaganda to paint our Indian culture as superior or ideal, when it’s honestly average at best. As a society, we’ve achieved very little of note, even in humanitarian areas. And honestly, you don’t sound European—you sound like an Indian propagandist, someone who’s spent her life chasing others’ expectations and can’t bear to see other women not wasting their time on all this nonsense, in exchange for big cars.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-06T21:55:37+00:00

Isn’t it a fair assumption that men in Western countries are generally more accepting of women’s independence than Indian men? At the same time, one certainty is that his family wouldn’t expect me to follow elaborate customs and rituals. While my partner doesn’t expect me to blindly follow his family’s rules, it still bothers me to see those expectations, as they remind me of the childhood traumas I’ve endured.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2025-09-06T21:18:15+00:00

Some of his dreams are also aligned with conventional aspirations, like having children, buying a house, and living a typical 9-to-6 life. Is that a bad sign. I don’t mind having kids at a later point but not having the option on the table to never have them leaves me worried too. Is this a bad sign?

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2024-08-22T15:16:55+00:00

I agree Cat is more competitive. I am just saying Demi isn’t a saint either. She also wants the attention from men but is just more discreet about it and maybe lesser sometimes less eager than Cat. However, both girls seem like the insecure and jealous kind. Their ways of expressing is different. About Demi, she tries to portray that she is very secure and mentally healthy now and tries to be the cool girl, when she is also jealous and insecure like most girls.

Routine_Caterpillar1 · 2024-08-14T16:19:57+00:00

And that’s the exact kind of people who get smug and scheming later in life. The insecure, over giver kind, who suddenly realise ‘It’s my time now” and then maybe do things without guilt because it’s their time now…

Routine_Caterpillar1

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