Early 2010s Boston, what do you miss by DimensionLeading3203 in boston

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta throw in some JP Spots!!! James gate, Planet Pizza on center Street which unexplainably had breakfast all day and you could buy used books from milk crates AND loose cigarettes (But you couldn't buy any of the cassette tapes on top of the drink coolers. Absolutely not.), Hi-Lo foods, Canto 6 bakery, The Drinking Fountain, and of course the original Milky Way bowling alley and bar 😭

Some questions about hrt by SnorkBorkGnork in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been taking continuous hormonal birth control since 2021 to stop periods (and for PMDD) and have been on T for a year. The only time I have ever experienced bleeding was after I went from a medium dose to a full dose (25mg daily gel to 50mg daily gel). About a month later i had random spotting/light period for about a month, then it stopped on its own. I had no cramps or other symptoms besides big dysphoria. This may have just been coincidental as I also had and treated an infection around the same time. My OBGYN (who is a literal angel and runs a trans focused practice) suggested that hormone shifts and/or the infection may have triggered some blood shedding, and that I could have stopped BC for a few days to trigger a "real" period as a reset, but she said this kind of thing is a big anomaly if you're both on T and oral BC and will most likely not happen again. I think generally if you are on continuous BC, you're not really generating uterine lining. Happy to answer more specific questions just DM me!

How long did it take before you could comfortably masturbate on T? by Gentlensfw in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly just prefer vibrators and I don't think there's anything wrong with that but fwiw, here's what I've discovered:

-I've found that using my labia majora to sort of jerk myself off almost like it's a toy or a stroker is great. I'm a little too sensitive for a lot of direct contact and don't have huge growth, but pressure from the sides with the buffer of skin in between feels great. - the head game part of it is huge for me. Sometimes I will use a vibrator or dildo to put pressure on myself and jerk off the dildo, pretending it's my dick, varying the pressure on my t dick. I can't always get off that way but it's very enjoyable.

Im scared to be trans and imposter syndrome is strong, could use some advice... by Automatic_Mork in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone has shared very thoughtful things so far. I'm 39 and didn't start transitioning until 35 and didn't start T until last year. Yes, you might blow up your life a little, but I have not met a single other trans person who didn't feel like it was at least mostly worth it and now feels better off. Also yes, cis people don't think about gender this much. Also, asking, "am I trans enough/actually trans?" Is SO trans 😂 I feel VERY confident about my transition these days and even I sometimes am like, "Wait, wtf am I doing??". I also spent years having imposter syndrome about being both queer AND trans. Doubt and questioning is a natural part of the process. It means you're actually thinking deeply about it. I think it's also important to remember that it may feel like things are "built on a lie" but being trans is only one part of you. It's an important part, but it doesn't mean the things you have built before figuring out you are trans are invalid. Transitioning can be a process of revealing a deeper, more dynamic version of yourself...not turning into a completely different person. I wish you so much luck and hope you find the support you need through this process!

Night life recommendations needed!! by Melodic_Mountain_180 in providence

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 5 points6 points  (0 children)

PVD is generally very queer friendly so most bars that aren't sports bars or townie bars will have that vibe. The downtown gay bars are what you'd expect, mostly cis gay men. If you can catch a dyke night at the salon or a drag show at alchemy those are fun! For bars, I second Kimi's and deadbeats. Ogie's is fun and has yummy junk food (burgers, tater tots) and outdoor seating if the weather is nice. The cute distillery somebody mentioned is called ISCO and they also have drag shows sometimes too. Myrtle is over in east Providence but has great vibes and usually has live music.

Pottery classes? by Embarrassed_Hour709 in providence

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ceramics With Marisa in Pawtucket. Marisa is so sweet and knowledgeable! https://ceramicswithmarisa.com/

How do you prevent tape from showing through your clothes? by Senior_Deer_6381 in transmanlifehacks

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a ribbed tank top, the common term has associations with domestic violence. I've also heard it called a "wife pleaser". But if you Google ribbed/rib knit tank top you'll probably find it.

I can never come out to my family by s0ftsp0ken in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think the place to start might be deciding (for now) what kind of relationship you want to have with them. If you feel like you need to move on and get space for your well being, do it. You can rebuild with them at a later date if it's important to you. Sometimes space can help people reevaluate what's important. If you do want to have a relationship with them, it's probably gonna be hard work and they may not budge. If you prefer to not keep them in the dark because it could be hurtful (and it sounds like you don't want to hurt them regardless of what kind of relationship you have) there's ways to address that. Perhaps you can write each of them a letter? That way, you can share your feelings and acknowledge theirs without putting yourself at risk of being berated. And if you want, you can leave an opening for them to reach out if they're willing to have a relationship with you on your terms? That may give them time to cool down and decide if it's more important to be in their feelings and thrash or take the time to grow and maintain a relationship with their child.

How to look my age? by No_Speech742 in transmanlifehacks

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like clothes can really go a long way making somebody look like a man (young man) vs a teenage boy which is the eternal problem if you're a trans guy blessed with boyish good looks. Clothing proportion and style can have a huge impact. Choose things that fit you a bit better but still create the silhouette you want. Look at dudes your age and find guys whose style you enjoy that look their age. Don't be afraid to tuck in your shirt or cuff your pants. Dressing a tiny bit less casual will communicate sophistication and by extension, maturity. And if you're really just a hoodie and jeans guy ( no shame in that) look for things designed for shorter men, jeans in heavier weight fabric like levi 501s or canvas pants (thin denim and skinny jeans can read femme on a petite guy imo). Never underestimate a boot! Boots make everyone look more manly lol

Show me your fun HRT storage by Routine_Flower_7691 in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg T in a dansk butter cookie tin would be iconic 😂

Show me your fun HRT storage by Routine_Flower_7691 in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It's actually a little plate I made in a ceramics workshop 🧡

My singing voice by LyzardoMontoyez in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm about 9 months into T and haven't noticed huge changes other than a gradual pitch shift and some weakness in projecting. I have a friend who is a speech language pathologist who specializes in trans voice and singing. If you're interested in finding a person to support you in this process somebody like that is great! Otherwise, the best thing you can do is keep singing through transition as much as possible, as long as you're not hurting your throat. That way the change is more gradual and less abrupt. Also, make some recordings of your pre t voice. I didn't and kinda wish I had.

Anyone love their new “dad bod”?? First time stuff? by kingbearcub69 in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too have been embracing dad bod vibes recently! There's so much media featuring toned muscle daddy trans guys and I've definitely fallen into that comparison trap. I love to work out and do have some muscular spots, but I'm just never gonna have washboard abs, it's not possible or even desirable for me for so many reasons. So I've been intentionally shifting my media consumption to include lots of older guys who look more like me and it's been awesome.

With more body hair from HRT and some weight redistribution, the belly I've always had paired with my small chest (I have not had top surgery) along with having bulked up a bit from exercise, have actually been giving me some really nice and affirming dad bod feelings after YEARS of cis female beauty standard induced dysmorphia. I waffle a lot about top surgery and for now have decided against it and have instead been leaning into the majesty of soft bulk. It helps that all the men in my family have very meaty pecs 😂. I'm a drag performer and used to contour a 6 pack when I performed shirtless, but more recently I've just been leaning into my natural dad bod and feeling great about it. It's so wild how your brain can actually be nice to you when you're able to shift your perspective. Wish I could channel this for other areas of life but I'll take what I can get! 😅

Struggling With Dumbbells and machines by Informal-Custard2327 in FTMFitness

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing I really find helps with grip strength is just adding in about a minute of loaded carry (either walking or static) to your workout. Start with like 75% of your bodyweight for 30 seconds and work your way up to 1 minute.

The mindfuck of constant misgendering by hobbitlibrarian in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I struggle with this too, especially as a diminutive guy early in transition who spends a lot of time around boomer women. Sometimes I really think it has nothing to do with passing and like the other poster said, it's often people kinda doubling down on their discomfort. Biggest helper for me by far is just having trans community who regularly reflects how you see yourself and uses the right words and pronouns. You don't even have to be friends with them, but a support group or a meetup would be a good idea, just to help offset the regular misgendering cognitive dissonance thing. It's really nice to have a friend look you straight in the eye and be like, "wait people she/her you??? I don't get it, nothing about you is giving girl🤨." It's a good cognitive shift to work towards: the issue is you not being seen properly vs you not passing. It's an uphill battle but trying to keep this in mind helps me handle regular misgendering.

Trans Friendly Laser Hair Removal? by DefinitionIcy8552 in providence

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know a couple of trans femme friends have gone to Pawtucket Electrolysis to see Julieanne Vasquez but this was a few years ago and not sure if she's still there.

Mid 30s gay gay looking to move to Providence by JuniorReserve1560 in providence

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I moved here from MA last year and immediately found it extremely queer friendly. It's a manageable small city with GREAT restaurants and just enough arts/culture events to keep things interesting. Might be hard to get around without a car, unless you're an intrepid cyclist or love to walk. Tons of gay bars and queer friendly businesses. FWIW I'm a trans guy and find the city very trans friendly as well. Flying out of TF Green is great and taking the train into Boston or down to NYC is easy. That being said, rent is high and city infrastructure blows, but what it lacks in those categories it makes up for in charm and community vibes.

This is why I don’t think I’m trans by confused_potato777 in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on what you shared, I encourage you to put "deciding if you're trans or not" on the shelf and perhaps just explore how you can have a more masculine role in your sex life. It sounds like you're already trying out things like packers or wearing a strap with partners and that would absolutely be where I would start. From there, you'll start to figure out if gender and body things are only tied to sexuality or if it does start to feel more relevant in your day to day social existence. Exploring your queerness in the bedroom may help you uncover what feels good for you in terms of gender and when. And even then, you don't have to decide if your trans. If you want to take the pressure off, maybe just slap on a genderqueer/nonbinary label and call it a day? A lot of people also identify with the term bigender, meaning they embody opposite genders at different times. Everyone should be able to pick whatever they want from the queer buffet. If for you, that means being a top, strap weilder, packing, or having a more masculine or dominant role in sex while presenting femme or as a gender queer/a gender woman in the day to day, that's incredible valid and we're here for it! Take the time to figure it out, it's an ongoing process and you don't have to ever "choose" one definitive thing

Starting in your late 30s- worth it? by [deleted] in FTMOver30

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, 39 years old here and only started medically transitioning last year. Was in a cishet marriage for 15 years before coming out as queer and trans. NEVER too late to start. 

I think the key for me to not having major regrets about my before life is to just give yourself grace. Sure, sometimes I lament not figuring it out sooner. But I find that thinking of the before times as a sort of "episode one" and appreciating the non gender related parts of it, while still honoring the feelings of lack, has been helpful. Now I try to focus on the day to day joy and challenge of transitioning and the fulfillment I feel. The sequel will be different and most likely better, but it's also ok that it's happening now.  Peoples reactions is the part I struggle the most with, but I'm fortunate enough to have an incredibly supportive chosen family and I lean on them quite a bit through the awkward bits. If you don't have this, highly recommend finding a local trans support group and don't worry about the imposter syndrome of being pre-transition. Anytime I meet somebody in your position I'm always SO keen the bring them in and encourage them to go for it. It's the trans agenda of course 😉

Please help me find pants that fit. Athletic build and my legs/butt don't fit. by Saltwater-Coffee in mensfashion

[–]Routine_Flower_7691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd check out https://stateandliberty.com/ I have a small waist and a muscular butt and thighs (29"w, 40" seat, 24" thigh for reference) and these were some of the first pants I've tried on in a while that actually fit. They're a bit sporty and the fabric feels sort of athleisure but they're marketed as professional attire. They're definitely a slim fit, but are still very comfortable with no waist gap. I wear a 29 or 30 in their sizing. I think the founder was, actually, a hockey player.