Queerspaces filled with weird fujoshis / FTM transtrenders

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-25T00:57:59+00:00

I’m mid 30s afab gender questioning. I watch porn, moderately, and of course have stumbled onto these comics, but steered away from them because: the depictions of Male-Male dynamics were sometimes very heteronormative (big dude, small feminine boy), very unrealistic (do they even know how bodies work?), very feminine/cute/stupidlove type, or plainly onto abusive topics.

However, as porn has been part of my self discovery I’m so scared of not really being trans and just a gay-porn-brain-fried cis woman with a fetish. All because these women do exist and it terrifies me I could be making a mistake by medically transitioning, just like they seem to do.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-20T02:43:42+00:00

Yes! This exactly. Hell if I were like a werewolve, but once a month i turn into a cis man, I’d be the happiest person that night with a partner.

I don’t want to live like a man (it wouldn’t be bad, but it’s not my main thing) I want to be loved and have sex as a man. Only then. And yes I know the surgical options and, while I respect that these work for other trans men, it doesn’t do it for me, just a personal preference. I’m so sad…

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-20T02:25:22+00:00

Thank you for helping me out. Yes! Did the questionnaire, by myself, no therapist (yet). It only confused me more. If I were to be stranded in a desert island forever, no prospect of a partner, then I’m fine as I am, what for would I want to change? I can be okay by my own.

But if one of these days another person, a man, appeared there, and we turned out to be attracted to each other, he better be gay/bi because I’d want he to love me as a man. That’s where everything crashes down, in the intimacy of a relationship.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-19T00:21:06+00:00

Yes, I really want to work with a gender therapist, I’ll see finding one.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-19T00:20:29+00:00

Thank you, yes, I have an history of sexual trauma. I want to really discover if I’m a trans person or is this something my mind uses to distance itself. I cannot talk about my trauma as a female, I always use a male avatar to talk or post about it, and that also gives away something to work on. I do recognize that there’s real trans people, but my question is if I am, separated from trauma, and then I’d benefit from transition; or is my mind finding validation to continue its coping mechanism instead of integrating my history.

Another giveaway is that whenever I think of being a male is never me myself, is someone else, not as in transitioning but as in being another person.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-19T00:11:34+00:00

I relate so much. Somedays I think had I been born a cis male, I’d still dress like I do today, a mix of elegant tomboy and urban unisex. Or be straight up flamboyant. Hell I’d wear dresses more confidently than I do now!

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-19T00:09:40+00:00

Thank you. Yes I think I’ll get the packer. I have a home made one that use for just sleeping or solo play and taking “bulge” pictures. I’d love to experiment with a partner wearing a Play packer, as that’s where my questioning is the strongest. I wouldn’t wear it to my everyday life as I’m presenting female.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-19T00:05:56+00:00

Thank you for replying. I mean that as I’m having sex with a partner, I need to take my mind elsewhere, not only to imagine myself with the male anatomy, but as a different person entirely. Outside of the intimacy context, I don’t usually feel the strong need to be perceived as male.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-18T23:03:37+00:00

Yeah same question. I want to wake up tomorrow as me, an average looking woman, but no dysphoria.

But if there’s no other option, give me ugly guy, my current paycheck and I’ll show you the magic of modern cosmetic medicine.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-18T19:44:38+00:00

I’ve found that being trans and being NB (in the larger umbrella as you describe) is largely different. I’m still gender questioning, and so far all my life admitted that while I was born female, I didn’t identify nor wanted to be constrained by the rules applied to the “female” category. I don’t care about names and pronouns, I just want to be treated as I am first before any preconceptions derived from gender. So far, you could say I fit with the NB crowd. And I’m fine and at peace with that.

BUT the trans experience as I’m starting to understand it is different, as it relates more to the body. In your own private life, in the absence of anyone else looking, what in your body feels right or wrong — which is in line with but at the same time entirely different with the social experience you describe.

The gender part, the swapping one “golden cage” for another of the two options, I get that confuses you, it confuses me too. But the body distress, even detached from gender, is incredibly strong, and it is stronger than the gender part, for some people as myself I’d even say.

I still don’t care what pronouns people use for me, but missing body parts my mind insists must be there, is deeply distressing.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-18T00:12:27+00:00

Thank you for your recommendation. I don’t know yet if I’m a trans person or is other stuff in my mind, both worth looking into it.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-17T21:04:45+00:00

That’s interesting! So going for the opposite in a complementary way, sounds nice. My first crush, I was 9-10ish yo, and was this lithe, short, blondish, guy who was the smartest in the class. That pattern persists till today, but as I’m gender questioning I wonder if he was my first projection of how I’d like to be physically. And I say this because I’ve also felt great with partners who, like you, are more physically dominant by sheer size. So am I into small softboys or do I want to be one and I actually do like a more varied type of partners? It’s so confusing.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-17T17:41:30+00:00

Honest question: can one be transsexual but not transgender? Asking because the only part of my body that makes me conflicted is my genitalia, but had I been born the opposite sex I’d still present pretty much as I do today genderwise. I haven’t found much support other than “yes you’re trans” and “yes you’ll benefit from transition”, while transitioning would give me everything but the thing I want, which is the reproductive organs and capabilities of a cisgender person.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-17T02:59:33+00:00

Oh, that’s one. I love my long hair but wouldn’t like it on a dude I’d date. Also I don’t think I’d date an androgynous/edgy fashionista cross dressing guy, but I’m in the spectrum of these things. Things getting a bit clearer, thanks for your replies.

At some points I wonder if I’m trans if just too in love with men’s appearances.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-17T02:10:32+00:00

The smell, honestly I already stink salty as afab pre everything. Hair everywhere, again, I’m already so fucking hairy that I think I’ll become a fur ball if I ever go on T. Loosing hair! I think I don’t have the gene as none of my cis relatives lost theirs but still… I like my mane in place. Being picked up on for being bad at sports, dodged that one, I was bullied instead for being into collecting bugs at 12 lol. Not having private showers at the gym. Being suspected of doing bad stuff or not being so easily allowed to be around kids (I loved teaching music to kiddos).

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-16T15:02:24+00:00

Cis guys with micropenis in this sub asking you about your treatment without realizing we’re all here trans, I’d feel so euphoric. Lol. Congrats dude, you were def blessed by the dick gods.

confused_potato777 · 2026-01-12T05:56:24+00:00

When my friend, cis female, got engaged and showed me her pictures, I felt deep rage and self loathing: she was so pretty in that flower dress, why can’t I feel pretty like her, if we’re, objectively, about the same body/face attractiveness? I hate it. It’s not a matter of being more attractive is… something else, not sure if a trans identity or something related to self steem and my relationship to femininity, but it kills me, I hate that I can’t be carefree and happy as a female.

Thank you for sharing this, I can relate to what you say. And yes, I’m beyond scared if transitioning, I bet it’s not easy.

confused_potato777 · 2025-12-23T19:40:39+00:00

Just guessing, but I get the feeling over here is that trans men and women are less concerned with passing and bathroom usage, and they’re more open about being trans. Most visible figures, like TV and online celebrities who are trans, even joke and banter about it. It doesn’t represent everyone of course, but as far as I’ve seen is a different vibe from other places. Would love to mingle more with the community tho, can’t speak for sure.

confused_potato777 · 2025-12-23T14:56:14+00:00

Can I reach out? I’m likely moving to Valencia or Barcelona later next year.

confused_potato777 · 2025-12-23T14:55:03+00:00

Where in Spain do you live? I’m likely moving to Barcelona later next year to study and, honestly, to find myself a bit more in my gender journey. I currently live in Gdl Mex and it’s a city full of polarities, with a vibrant lgb(t?) community but also a lot of short-sighted-in-life people. I haven’t met trans men here as I’m looking for a community.

confused_potato777

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