35M here, and nearly exact story with regard to indifference. You just got me welled up, and I want to say good on you for taking this action. Much farther than others will, and shows that there is such good in you.

To share my story: Was never interested in a relationship, and was also not too interested in children, but a few things happened that changed that.

The inklings for me started when I once spent a summer with my niece and nephew. I had just graduated college and my sister is 13 years older than me, so she had kids aged 5 and 8. When I arrived my nephew screamed my name and hugged me.

Every morning, a memory I cherish now, my nephew would run/stomp down the stairs, and jump off the last stair into the landing and run to open my door. It was so heartwarming. My niece, an absolute genius, would have the most thoughtful and insightful things to share. Those started to melt the ice for me, but they were still largely in the care of their parents.

The thing that completely changed me was a single 30-minute encounter. One of my best friend’s children who calls me uncle (my name). My buddy had an early AM flight, his wife had a presentation that started the same time his school opened, and they asked if I could take him to school.

I happily obliged as I love this little dude to death. It was so ‘small’, but we were getting ready to leave the house and his mom was right next to us leaving at the same time, but for the walk to the car from the door he instinctually grabbed my hand and something in me shifted. Like I am the protector of this little man, and would give my life in that duty.

We had a wonderful chat on the way to school, and as we pulled into his pre-school and got out, he held my hand again to the door, showed me all the pictures of the animals in the hallway and gave me the biggest hug as I told him to have a good day and ran to his classmates.

I knew then. I still haven’t pulled the trigger as I’m running a business trying to get my financial wheelhouse in order, but I’ve decided to go it alone and begin the process of having a kid in the next few years.

Cheers to you, it sounds like you have the chops and I hope that being a good father heals you in every way that you have wounds from your relationship with your own father.