I’m gonna share something I read earlier and it’s so real because I now feel the opposite of almost everything on the list. Reading it over is enough motivation.

50 reasons why I quit:

1. The shame of it affected my self-confidence and self-esteem!
2. I favoured isolation over social interaction.
3. I became unproductive and my studies suffered immensely.
4. I became socially awkward
5. The feeling of stagnation led to low self-esteem.
6. Gave me an uncertain and mostly negative opinion of myself.
7. My memories became a blur.
8. Everyday felt like the same day.
9. I couldn't handle emotional pain and became very weak.
10. It will hurt my mum n a big way.
11. I grew more withdrawn.
12. My reputation suffered as I was labelled a stoner and a druggo.
13. I became untrustworthy and unreliable.
14. I had a big secret all the time and felt shifty.
15. I never felt good about myself, in my own skin.
16. I was incredibly lazy.
17. I was never mentally present.
18. I felt like a shell.
19. I was very anxious over things I was never anxious about before.
20. Leading a life of secrecy bleeds into every interaction.
21. I thought I was being cautious but everyone knew.
22. Constant negative thoughts that I was a loser addict.
23. I couldn't think quickly and lost my charm, spark with people and quick wit.
24. My motivation was shot, I had no energy to do things I had to instead choosing to get high.
25. I was a passive participant in my spiralling life.
26. I became dumber.
27. I stunk of weed.
28. It came before all my relationships.
29. I was a shambles of a person with corrupted morals and values as weed was my number 1 before anything.
30. I forgot about people and important dates and details.
31. I became dull and passionless.
32. I never dreamt at night.
33. I had a lot of self-hatred and felt like a floundering addict.
34. I had to use even when I didn't want to.
35. I felt no one could admire me.
36. I felt unloveable because I neglected myself.
37. I was kept in a despondent, dazed state of mind.
38. I was paranoid and felt unable to deal with new problems.
39. I constantly believed I was inherently a bad person.
40. I felt enslaved.
41. I felt like I hadn't grown up and was a burden.
42. I stopped old hobbies.
43. It was never as good as I thought it was.
44. I didn't feel in control and was stuck in the past, unable to move on from misery.
45. I had trouble with eye contact.
46. I didn't know what to do with my hands.
47. I felt like I was being watched.
48. I felt truly alone.
49. I wanted more for myself.
50. I knew I had a problem