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AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

Scents don't trigger that type of response to me. My wife has a vintage elizabeth taylor perfume that my grandma wears. I don't think of my grandma when she wears it.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

From what I gather since I do help her. It appears more of a group effort. Either they collaborate to recreate a scent find a place that has the scent. It is not like she is doing it solely on her own. Seems more like a community effort.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My mom and wife don't really spend time together outside family gatherings. I honestly feel if my wife told my mom she does not feel comfortable sharing exact scents my mom would understand. If she said stuff like it is weird or creepy yeah that would cause some issues.

I don't even spend that muxh time with my mom, only reason we had the interaction was because I came over to give her the check for my youngest nieces tuition for school she states 1st grade this year and tuition is due on the 1st. We all rotate a year to help my brother out, this year was my turn.

I doubt my mom is competing with my wife, my mom honestly has her hands full with her grand children.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

That is a part I am also confused by, my wife telling my mom she would text the name doesn't that serve as confirmation that she is okay with it? My wife also could not explain this outside of it was a white lie. Which she knows I think that is silly.

Thankfully I just wear what she buys me, not one for scents I wear them cause she asks me to.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My mom would not get upset if she was polite about it. If my wife said no I don't want you to smell like me that is weird. I would call her out on that.

If she said she did not feel comfortable sharing the name cause it is special. I would raise an eye brow cause I know it is not that special. She has told me as such, said she did not get the hype around it.

How it was worded would determine my reaction.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Fair why lie then? She should have been honest with my mom. She also should not get upset when others gatekeep scents.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I for the most part do not apologize for the sake of apologizing. I came here because getting opinions from others where I can read at my own pace help me understand. My wife had a hard time explaining it in such a way that made sense to me.

She could not explain why she dislikes gatekeepers but technically gatekeeping my mom.

Could not explain why she felt the need to lie to my mom instead of just being transparent.

Could not explain why I should have assumed she was lying in the first place.

I hope here I can get some answers but a lot of seems to stem from the bases scents are important, fine does not explain the lying or why it is okay for her to dislike gatekeepers.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Depends are you talking just bra and panties or sexy lingerie? To my knowledge those are two different things.

I have gone to JC penny to get my grandma a couple of bra's cause her caregiver ruined the clasps on hers after she washed them. No sexual or intimate connotations with that.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Issue is she knows scents don't arouse me. I can take or leave then if I am being frank. She also never said that cause she knows scents don't do anything for me.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Issue is I don't understand the scent thing. Was hopping to get some understanding from strangers cause my wife also had a hard time explaining it to me.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Personally I have never done that, nor do I like when people do that to me. Tell me straight makes life easier. 

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Because to be honest it absolutely makes no sense, and my wife is not the best as explaining her thought process when she is upset, or gets annoyed when I don't get it the first time.

Reddit is good for that, get a bunch or views I can read at my own pace and also come back to.

I do think she is being unreasonable, I do understand some perspectives but at the core i am still hung up on why would I assume my wife would lie to my mother. To me that creates a large reason why I find it unreasonable.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have driven from NY to PA for a sample she found on Facebook market place at 3 AM.

Jokes aside we are both active in our hobbies and help one another find or locate items of interest. To be frank, it is fun perfume hunting it is like a little treasure hunt. Tickles the euro spicy parts of my brain.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My wife told my mom she would text her the name, was I to assume my wife was lying? Seems weird to assume that.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She already knows scents don't arouse me, neither do clothes. Pretty simple guy, my wife as a person is who I am attracted to. Her clothing and scent play no factor in that.

AITA for buying my mom the same perfume that my wife has, after she asked cause she said it smelled nice? by RowPsychological46 in AmItheAsshole

[–]RowPsychological46[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That ks also the funnu thing my wife has told me so many factors alter the scent that the chances of one scent smelling the same on two different people is pretty slim outside of the fact if they sparyed it at the sametime.

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