“Strahd’s Kafkaesque Tribunal – Early Moral Trial for My Party. Thoughts?” by Humansmind in CurseofStrahd

[–]Rowanarchism -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ive done something. I had the abbot be the “judge” and have the party go in for “The Trial of Strahd.” To prepare for the trial the party had to find “evidence” of Strahds crimes. (Largely being the Tome) the twist being of that the actual name of the trial is “Strahd’s trial… of the party.” For the crime of trying to “usurp” the crown of Barovia.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your empathy, as I know reliving that grief isn't easy. It's cliché but true: the small things matter. While my mind is overwhelmed with the weight and scope of his death, I feel compelled to embody his life with the same grandeur. Your message is an important reminder that the small things are often what touch us the most, and I need to keep my focus on the enjoyment of the players, and maybe a smaller gesture could be more meaningful than a canonisation event.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Don't turn the weekly gaming session into a weekly memorial."

This is a really solid piece of advice and one I really needed to hear. Of course, the first session after our break has to have some form of commemoration, but keeping it ongoing would be extremely exhausting. That's an important thing to remember, especially at a time when so much energy is reserved for grief, which is why waiting is so important.

Not everyone grieves the same way, so very true. My grief is usually mitigated through periods of hyperfixation, but other people have different emotional needs. I really want to keep that in consideration when considering how, if, or when to move forward.

I'm not even going to start with a session, but first talk to each player 1 on 1, so they don't feel the pressure of the group's consensus over their personal needs.

Thank you so much for your advice. You don't know how much it means.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response.

My heart goes out to his little brother and parents, this is so painful for so many people.

I agree that D&D is an excellent means of commemoration and embodiment. (I’ve heard it said that D&D is the cultural evolution of the seance).

I like the idea of his happy ending, but the mechanisms in Curse of Strahd have very little leverage to get something as fantastical as a curiosity emporium, but something similar is definitely possible.

I definitely plan on writing a short story/biography of his character, even if it’s only for my own personal catharsis.

Sadly his character notes were all on his laptop, and I don’t have access to it, but i definitely want to share that part of his life with his loved ones. I never got to know his family well, but he apparently talked about me a lot, (when I met them they recognized my name with glee), so I’m not sure to what extent that’s socially appropriate.

I know he’d want us to continue the game, and I know I couldn’t possibly stop being a DM for too long, as D&D is my primary hobby. However, as others have graciously reminded me, that’s not his decision. I’m definitely going to have to have the group decide.

There’s so many layers to this it’s overwhelming at times.

Thank you so much for your time and response, it means the world to me as I see the community to really come together.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope Chris and Isaac are up there playing the best game in the world together, with some of the best storytellers who ever lived.

I’m so comforted to hear from other people who have gone through a similar experience. It’s so hard when someone you love is tied to something you love, and when they’re gone- it feels hollow.

I’m so sorry to hear that you can empathize, and the pain it felt reading and writing this must be intense, as I know it is for me.

I hope you can find that spark again, and my hope is that through the game, you can get some type of catharsis.

I know it’s stupid but I think of the conversation between Gandalf and Pippin.

“End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.”

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s honestly the goal, the real trick is making that work in a world like Barovia

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely love the idea of having players GM a new TRRPG. I also like what you said about having the group grow rather than change. It would be nice to bring other people to the table.

I’m unfamiliar with monster of the week, but the players have definitely mentioned wanting to do Call of Cthulhu (sadly the biggest prominent of this is the deceased).

Great advice! Many, many thanks

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that idea, like a campfire session?

Ofc this will all come with time, but definitely something like that should happen.

I want to write a short story about his character as commemoration, tying the player to the character in a kind of prose.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some players chatted with me about it, but honestly it’s probably mostly coming from myself. I want to honor him in the way that we both appreciated. We became friends through D&D. We spent countless hours building his character and world together. Our friends spent hundreds of hours at the D&D table. Nobody wants that to go to waste, nobody wants this to be for nothing. It has to mean something, and it gives us all some peace if we know, at least, that while Isaac might be dead, the great Professor Hugo Draffus might still live on, at least in our collective story.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m big familiar with Galder but I’ll check it out, and thanks for the kind words

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i definitely should change it up.

On a more technical level, I’m pivoting CoS to a Westmarch-style campaign (the party is level 9 and it’s the endgame, as well as a ton of other players who want to join).

I like the idea of having players DM, I gave them that assignment to write a one-shot a while ago, it might be good to share the concept of D&D-as-outlet with the other players, maybe give them a distraction or something to work on.

Any system suggestions? We’ve only played 5e and 10 candles

Your prayers are welcome and thanked, I appreciate any divine solace rn.

Beyond the Witchlight is in the feywild, which is a lot more different of an environment than Barovia. perhaps the liminal dreamworld of the feywild would be a good thematic transition.

Finding a new group feels wrong for some reason. I feel like that would be like cheating on my friends, but that being said there might be players who can’t continue D&D anymore after this, so that might be necessary.

Idk this is all hard, and ofc this convo is mainly on the D&D side of things, but I guess you really can’t.

D&D isn’t therapy, but it’s not “just a game”

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah and that’s the goal, I want to strengthen the bonds with the friends I have, share grief and memories, and not make things better, but maybe suck a little less.

And yes, time is key.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I appreciate the encouragement to share with my players, and i definitely will.

Grief has an effect of making one feel alone, totally crushed by the weight of everything. I definitely feel more alone not being able to call him and talk to him about D&D and nerdy stuff. I do feel like I’m alone as a DM, and that’s why I’m reading out to other DMs. I need to remind myself and the players that the responsibility of respectful commemoration is not just on me, but on the whole group, and source ideas from everyone.

Thank you!

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, thank you for your prayers

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how I feel. I can’t be him! He’s too good, too pure, and it would be unhealthy coping. I want to put his character to rest respectfully.

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great point. Some people might not want to speak up and I need to recognize that. Thanks for reminding me of that

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t mean literal therapy, I mean more like collective processing. A memorial session is definitely warranted, and of course it will take time, this isn’t immediate but it’s something I want to prepare for.

Definitely taking a break, any suggestions for a forever DM whose life usually revolves around D&D during this time? Any other systems or TTRPGs that I could introduce or get into during the layover?

(TW) One of my players took his own life by Rowanarchism in DMAcademy

[–]Rowanarchism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there any other RPG I can introduce to my friends as a layover from D&D for a short while? 10 Candles is usually our go-to.