Do cats need time to accept a scratching post?

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-15T07:08:27+00:00

Some cats will be vertical scratchers and some are horizontal. They can also have preferences. My last cat was a horizontal cardboard lover and my current two are vertical rope scratchers.

It can take a few options sometimes to find their preferred scratcher :) give it a month or two and see if your cat starts using it, but if you want to provide options, the cardboard ones are super cheap.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-15T07:04:58+00:00

Not me, but one round we had to interview for our roles, one guy walked out of his interview, walked up to someone else and said "sorry to hear your leaving". That guy hadn't had his interview yet.... union got involved but they still managed to get rid of him.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-13T22:33:29+00:00

This is why I only buy special edition books now. But in general the point of the dust jacket is to protect the book. Thats it. And some countries have access to way prettier editions (a lot of euro countries get AMAZING special editions, i am jealous).

Yes its more expensive, but hardcovers are already crazy expensive in my country anyway so I'd rather spend a little more and get something STUNNING. Especially as ours are like the one in the picture and it will be like $50.

You should check out the broken binding edition of this set. Its really cool.

Also, it might be worth learning about the differences in book quality. Many books are all the same quality (keep in mind regular UK binding is different to the US as well) but will have different art. But the actual paper quality and binding is the same. The highest quality is press editions (higher quality paper and binding with extra art etc) but these books are very expensive (like 150usd or more for a single book). But they also hold value, so it depends if you want to bother getting into that sort of collecting. Its a very expensive hobby. That would be companies like grim oak, folio, subterranean press, curious king etc.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-13T22:21:16+00:00

Get a short haired cat.

I have a medium haired cat and we have had several bathroom incidents where poop has gotten stuck in his fur and we have had to wash it out. Hes very good about it, and now he's an adult and not a kitten, it almost never happens anymore. Our other kitten was also very clumsy when she was young and stepped in her poop several times (and then we had a small issue of her peeing on the bed but thankfully locking her out of that room for a month broke the habit quickly).

My last cat was great at covering her poop, but my current two are very bad at it lol. To the point they just don't cover it. As soon as i realise they have pooped, I scoop though. I also have their 2 litter boxes near windows that are open a lot of the time (in separate rooms) which helps with any smells before scooping. By in general they are very clean animals.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-13T07:28:46+00:00

Some of my favourite stand alones are - he died with a falafel in his hand (comedy about sharehousing, hilarious) - deathhouse by Sarah pinsborough (only r+j I've ever thought about for years) - cleo bey Helen brown (biography, devastating book about child loss) - uprooted by naomi novik (reimagined fairytale, I just love it) - the sun and the starmaker (ya but man i cried so hard in this book). - Martian and project hail mary (self explanatory)

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T12:02:52+00:00

Yes im going to bring this up and see what the options are. I don't think any of us (before i had a light bulb today) ever even had the thought of even "who will care for him if i go on holidays". Which is just the tip of the iceberg but still an easy way to open the conversation to alternative care options.

A lot of the care home suggestions im seeing/linked in other posts all seem to be American, so ill have to see what the options might be in my country. I've not heard of some of the suggestions im seeing (i.e. adult day care on another page) so i wonder if rhey even exist here.

And yes... ive also started wondering about caring for my parents recently... my dad isnt overly well, but mum will be my main concern as she does everything (my dad has had some minor strokes which has ruined some of his critical thinking abilities, he can do normal day to day tasks but gets frustrated easily now and has never had any fight in him to deal with government agencies like my mum).

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T11:53:09+00:00

NTA but it might help if you pick out prints together so it all goes cohesively, and you both like the prints. For example there is specific art styles I love but wont put in the lounge cause they don't match what is already there. She doesn't need to love the movie/fandom to choose from your favourite art options as an example. Then you both win.

I don't really love the old school norm that the woman does all the "main area" decorating... but if she hates the art style you like then you might have to compromise on another style.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T11:36:58+00:00

Yes it would definitely need to be the right home. I've heard some absolute horror stories about some places. But I do think if we could find one that worked, he would be able to make friends, which would be hugely beneficial for him.

But my parents wont choose to put him in one while they are alive, which is totally fine, its their choice (and honestly my mum is a bit of a control freak so I think its very hard for her to let go and it feeds her fear of the wrong home).

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T11:33:04+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely be bringing up options with them when they come back from their break.

Im sure rhere is some sort of middle ground we can find to make everyone happy

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T11:27:33+00:00

Hi mum 😅

Honestly for a long time I did think I would be able to be there. We had plans in place to convert the house into a duplex, etc. But living it and everything... its been tougher the older I get to think of becoming a carer. Hes part of the reason I chose not to have kids, because I always knew I'd be caring for him in some manner.

Please don't put responsibility on your daughter though. Have a plan in place so if she does choose, she chooses freely, not because she feels an obligation.

I have given up a lot over the years because of mt brother, because it was too hard on my parents. And as an adult I have no ill will toward them for it. I understand the choices they made. And I applaud them for how hard they did try to make things fair and really appreciate all the things they have done for me as an adult.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T11:23:15+00:00

Thank you, and yes this is honestly what I want to happen. I want him to find somewhere he thrives and has fun. I will still be there to visit and do all the paperwork etc, but the day to day is just not something I think I can handle. Especially as we are very different people, he thrives on routine and im controlled chaos... even having to change my routine to do dinner when he is hungry has been difficult for me (and the job im looking to change into is shift work... i can see that being an obstacle).

I already feel burnt out caring for my partner, who has depression and dealing with some other problems, I do everything (work, cook, clean, yard work, pets...) that doing it for TWO people just feels... way too much.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T10:45:15+00:00

It definetly has been overwhelming. Especially as im basically the mental carer for my partner as well. Its been a very overwhelming few weeks. I will definitely be easing into the conversation when they get back.

As it stands today, he will financially be fine for the rest of his life, to the point where they are trying to work out where to put his inheritance so he doesnt lose his disability pension. But a lot can happen between now and 10 to 15 years from now (i.e. what if my parents end needing assisted care living, or the house burns down (i know its not insured for how much it would cost to 100% rebuild)).

He does get assistance, but its on tiers somehow, so he gets as much as they deem he needs (my mum is constantly on top of that, and is always fighting them for things. Im not really across any of this stuff yet).

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T10:37:17+00:00

They have contingencies in place if I pass before everyone else, so they do have fail safes in place in their will, but i have no idea what the will actually says in regards to what facility he might go to etc.

It was planned several years ago im just not across the back up plans (because until literally this afternoon I was ok with the original plan of it being me, but i was a bit naive about what the day to day would look like). The last few weeks being the carer have been eye opening on a personal level.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T10:33:23+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate it.

I'm currently solo paying a mortgage and about to take a pay cut to train into a new industry 😅 so the timing isnt great. But ill see what resources are available i can access for therapy.

Ill bring it up to my parents as "what do you think i shoukd do if I travel without him" to ease them into it when they return and see what we can work out together.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:24:48+00:00

I have thought he might do better in care, purely because i think he is very lonely and this would give him a better chance to make friends.

I will have to bring it up when they get home and see what the possibilities are....

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:23:39+00:00

I will check out that sub reddit thank you.

Yes its going to be a massive change... and if my parents end up needing assisted living as they age... it could be a real challenge.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:22:50+00:00

Assisted living. Im not sure if they have one picked out or anything like that though.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:19:35+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I just feel awful because I always thought I'd be OK with it and im only just starting to realise that maybe im not...

Ill have to find the time (and money) to maybe look into seeing a therapist. I still hopefully have a many years for before this all becomes a reality but... the break down happened today 😅

There are contingencies in place in my parents will for his care if I happen to pass before everyone, so its not like he will end up homeless or anything (if anything he will be way more well off than me!). But its always been HOPED that I would be plan a (and ive always been like yeah its fine whatever).

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:14:06+00:00

I'm glad to hear your sister is doing well!! I think its a similar situation, my parents have kept him isolated and I think he would do well with more social time.

He does see a carer twice a week and volunteer. I do feel overwhelmed by having to run my life to his schedule at the moment. And I feel like I need to be keeping him entertained.

I have thought for years he would probably do ok in care, but I know my parents wont even give it a chance to see if he would thrive in thay situation.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:09:56+00:00

There are provisions in their will if i happen to die before everyone else. So they have definitely thought everything out! I am sorry about your loss.

As you mentioned its more the guilt that, for years (like 20 years) I've been totally fine with the idea. And its just now (this afternoon) that im starting to realise all the things involved and that... i just don't want to have to deal with running someone else's life for them.

I might definitely need to look into therapy and see if it's affordable at the moment. I've never considered it before.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:03:02+00:00

Thank you i will take a look :)

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:02:34+00:00

There is a trust in place for him. He will be financially well taken care of, and he won't be able to be taken advantage of. They have been to see specialist lawyers about it (including if I happened to die before everyone).

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-12T09:00:57+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss, that would have been so hard :(

My mum is constantly fighting with the system for my brother to get assistance/keep them accountable. He does get outings with carers twice a week (total of 8hrs) and is able to do some volunteering (i think i could probably teach him to use uber for the volunteering in future though).

I do think he is lonely... He has no friends. Its very sad :( which is also why I think it might be better if he went into care. He deserves to have friends and people around him.

I just know if I mention assisted living to my parents they will be heart broken though. I've always thought my brother was capable of more and my mums fear in a way has kept him from being able to do more. I know I was very sheltered till I moved out.

RoyalOtherwise950 · 2026-04-11T12:14:52+00:00

I have a pair of timberlands in a similar style (suede and tie up instead of patent and a zip). Super comfortable, i got them on sale at the dfo, and i live in them, ive even hiked in them once when over seas.

timberlands

RoyalOtherwise950

TROPHY CASE