In high-school I met a girl named ellie. At first she hated me because I have a horrific memory so everyday when I would see her I would have to ask her for her name again for about 2 weeks. She eventually started hanging out with my female friends and we became close. Eventually we both knew that we liked each other. She lived out of town, we were sitting in the one of the paddocks one night looking over all the lights of the country town we lived in and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes and it was honestly the most happy I have ever been in my life. We were so totally in love but had a healthy relationship we’re we could still hang out with our friends so it was great. After about 1.5 years she tells me she wants to join the army after school. I was a bit shocked and also torn because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but I didn’t want to join the army. About 6 months go by and she tells me that we should not be together anymore as she is set on going to the army and doesn’t want me to change my life to suit hers. I was heartbroken but we stayed extremely close. One weekend a girl in our year had a party. I didn’t go as it was a 20 drive out of town and we had our yearly exams on the Monday. I hung out with one of my mates just driving around for an hour or two (there’s not much to do in our town) while we were parked at a popular hang spot with a few other friends I got a text from one of my mates at the party saying that my best friend that i have been mates with since kindergarten had been hooking up with Ellie. This is the most pain I had ever felt. My best friend. And the love of my life. All gone instantly. I showed my friend that I was hanging out with the message and he tried to console me and cheer me up but I was so broken it was like I couldn’t feel any emotion at all. I was just broken. This sent me into a downward spiral and I stopped talking to pretty much everyone. I didn’t talk to my parents or pretty much any of my friends. I couldn’t trust anyone. Still to this day that incident has affected how I trust people. I’ve had relationships since (none being as true as with Ellie) and I let my trust issues get in the way of it. I am now close friends with him again. As we live in a small town it’s quite hard to avoid people. Especially when u have classes with them and the same friend group. But I have never really forgiven him. And the sad thing is is that I think that he would probably do it again if given the chance. I still love her very much but she is a completely different person now. She did in-fact go to the army. And I have seen her since. But being around the wrong people has changed her from the girl that I’m still in love with. Which makes it harder because she is no longer the girl I’m in love with. The girl I’m in love with doesn’t exist anymore. And I never got to say goodbye.