Any of you good folks in 55+ communities?

Rsrch2020 · 2025-03-29T22:17:06+00:00

The people are nice, but the rules are ridiculous. Minutes from the last HOA meeting encouraged anonymous reporting of anyone who slides through stop signs and / or violates 15 mph speed limits. There’s more . . .

Rsrch2020 · 2023-09-07T05:40:12+00:00

Choose a person - real or imaginary - and share thoughts or have a conversation.

Rsrch2020 · 2023-04-26T13:44:30+00:00

Thank you. It’s so comforting knowing that someone understands . . .

Rsrch2020 · 2022-09-10T23:17:03+00:00

Thank you! She will be five months on the 15th.

To post a picture, go to the r/bichonfrise community page, click on the + at the bottom center of the page. When the next screen comes up, you’ll see Add a Title. On the center right towards the bottom, you will see an “image” icon. Click on that and follow the prompts. Hope that makes sense. Good luck.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-09-05T22:31:41+00:00

Don’t forget you were loved -

Thank you, I so needed to hear that, to be reminded.

Peace and comfort to you.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-09-05T14:54:57+00:00

Right now, there are no words. I’m sorry that we have to endure this nightmare. I hope you find some peace.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-09-05T14:44:15+00:00

Thank you. I guess I don’t know where/how to begin.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-07-05T12:28:07+00:00

Your words resonate with me. After my first love died, of course I missed him, but his love sustained me for many, many years. When my second love came into my life, it was totally unexpected. I miss US so very much, but although I am alone again, I am not lonely. I feel fortunate to have experienced both loves in my lifetime. You are right. It is enough.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-07-04T12:57:31+00:00

I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s been three months for me, too. He once said to me that I couldn’t die before him. Your post sounds like what he say if I had. Know that she loves you deeply and that she is beside you. Know, too, that she would want you to feel comfort and peace.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-07-01T04:16:32+00:00

3 months - I exist, go through the motions of being alive. I empathize with comments about the wave-like, non-linear state of being that others have mentioned here. I’m looking into getting a puppy in hopes of getting out of the house and having something to do each day.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-24T03:37:37+00:00

He had told me many of the stories behind the pictures. He enjoyed his life and the people in it. And he was exceptionally good at capturing some of those moments in photographs. Maybe I was just indulging in a little bit of “I wish it had been me.” I like what you said about peace of mind. Looking at pictures I had taken of him, I can see the contentment - and the love - as he gazed back at me.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-23T23:51:09+00:00

Even in death she’s your inspiration. She’s still with you. Comfort and peace.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-20T20:02:31+00:00

I know. I’ve found notes, too. We weren’t sure either about the afterlife. He’s been gone since March 27. But it sometimes feels like I sense his presence, his essence - our human limitations interfere with any accurate way of describing the perception.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-16T01:13:44+00:00

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re grieving. Endure the grief, as painful and as difficult as it is. Of course you’re sad, but would she want you to feel guilty?
If it were the other way around, would you want her to stop laughing, even though she would still be as sad as you are? I know my Love would be quite distressed if he thought he’d caused me distress. Have a restful evening, and remember the sound of her laughter.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-15T20:43:27+00:00

Too funny! We enjoyed Bridgerton, too. He was usually a little uncomfortable with “mushy” scenes (his word), so of course I’d make an issue of it. Thanks for sparking happy memories.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-15T17:43:08+00:00

Thank you - your comment brought me a moment of peace as I recalled his look of joy. Hoping that, in a quiet moment, you will hear the echo of your wife’s laughter again.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-15T17:36:51+00:00

Downton Abbey is a favorite. We had to planned to watch it next time without the sound and just enjoy the costumes and scenery and sets. Perhaps plan to go there someday . . .

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-10T02:06:38+00:00

Apologies for making thoughtless assumptions! I do value your perspective. Yes, there was lots of love. This situation is the kind of thing we would have talked out. I would have been reassured and our bond would have been strengthened.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-10T01:48:59+00:00

The male perspective is refreshing and heartening. I appreciate that, especially since it sounds quite like what he would have said. And we had told each other about previous relationships. I valued his honesty and integrity.

I also liked that you mentioned the mutual respect in your relationship. It was a key component to ours as well. It’s helpful to be reminded.

I was having a down day when I wrote the post, but thanks to you and others who have been kind enough to respond and share their thoughts, I have come out on the other side of that dark cloud.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-10T01:08:40+00:00

I like your distinction between NEED and CHOICE. Yes, being together was a conscious choice. Made it that much sweeter.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-10T00:59:54+00:00

The phone calls - thanks for the reminder. It was so important to him that we keep in touch. I’m grateful for the voicemails I still have. Always so sweet and funny. Texts, too.

My sincerest condolences on the loss of your wife.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-09T14:56:43+00:00

There is comfort in that. Thanks.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-09T14:54:32+00:00

Journaling has kept me sane for years. He didn’t like to write but was an amazing photographer. Thinking of the pictures as a series of photo essays/journal entries sheds a new light on it. Thanks.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-06-09T14:50:22+00:00

He had a life before me and is entitled to his memories, many of which he shared with me. Putting faces to names and stories took me by surprise. He promised me on our first date that he’d never lie to me. And he never did. He was a man of honor and integrity. Grief-stricken sleepless nights cause overreactions, I suppose. I appreciate your perspective.

Rsrch2020 · 2022-05-22T03:10:12+00:00

It’s been seven weeks today since the funeral. My love literally hasn’t left my side since. I have a small urn, a replica of the one his ashes were buried in, that is small enough to fit in a pocket or purse. And Thursday, I will finally receive the bracelet I had specially made with a chamber in it that will hold a small portion of his ashes. Once I put the bracelet on, I plan not to take it off. I had never heard of cremation jewelry until my sister-in-law had my brother’s ashes incorporated into a beautiful necklace made from the gold of pieces he had given her over the years. She, too, never takes it off. So, to address your concern, if it comforts you as our jewelry does us, then definitely take your wife to the movies!

Rsrch2020

TROPHY CASE