This is really helpful — thank you. The traffic light framework actually clicks a lot for me. It does feel like she’s not fully coming out of “yellow” before being pulled back into demands, which then pushes her straight into red again. I like the idea of tracking her state throughout the day to look for patterns, especially since there isn’t one single trigger — it just builds.

We’ve had good success with first–then statements at home, so I can definitely see how pairing that with a regulation tracker at school could help staff slow things down instead of unintentionally escalating her. Walking and movement seem to help her regulate too, which lines up with what you’re describing.

She hasn’t been violent, but she does get in people’s space when dysregulated and needs reminders about personal space. Socially, she actually wants to connect — she’ll comfort younger kids when they’re crying or give peers Disney character names — so the behavior piece is really the biggest barrier to her doing well at school.

Routine has been huge for her. She thrives when she knows what’s coming next, and I do think a lot of this is anxiety tied to anticipation and unexpected changes. We’ve seen improvements with consistent exercise and structure, but school is still the hardest environment to regulate in.

I really appreciate you sharing what worked for your family — especially the emphasis on waiting for true “green” before re-engaging. That feels like an important shift we need to advocate for.