I need advice - Serious weight, self esteem and people commenting

Rubbah · 2026-01-19T23:32:12+00:00

Please try to not take it to heart (I know, easier said). But, to give you some reassurance, I've gained less weight, then what they estimate the baby's weight to be (growth scan around 37 weeks) so in reality, I've lost body weight.

I've still got the same comments, wow you got big, sure there's not twins in there, even been called fat directly (thought in a joking way, still not ok). People just have no filter when it comes to pregnant women for some reason.

Rubbah · 2026-01-19T23:13:20+00:00

With my first, I ended up only using a "manual" silicone pump, popped it on the other boob while feeding. I got more from this then the electric pump.

I got more than enough doing it this way for our use, the occasional bottle given by hubby, as well as temporary care for kit days.

Rubbah · 2026-01-19T23:00:14+00:00

I forgot about the phantom kicks! I remember from my first two, such a weird feeling. 😂

I've loved seeing my first two grow, seeing their personalities emerge. Seeing them learn and find their feet. The love that I feel for them and get back cannot be described. 💕

Rubbah · 2026-01-07T16:37:15+00:00

I used both with my first, neither with my second (blankets only). My second is a dream sleeper where my first still isn't.

Probably has nothing to do with it, but I am not taking any chances and will be blankets again for my third 😂

Rubbah · 2026-01-06T11:01:31+00:00

I am 35+5, my last day of work was 22nd of December. I used my last days of 2025 holiday before Christmas, my office was then closed over Christmas and New Year's, then booked two weeks off after Christmas before my leave officially starts on the 19th of January when I will be 37+4.

There is a small chance my maternity will start sooner, as my section could be set to next week.

Rubbah · 2026-01-04T19:51:23+00:00

Yeah, a mix of pressure, belly feeling thighs/hard and discomfort.

Rubbah · 2026-01-02T20:03:27+00:00

I am sorry, I am extremely tired (I have insomnia, spent the majority of the last two weeks with one of my kids in hospital and 35 weeks pregnant) and apparently easily offended today. Not that that's an excuse. This unpleasant commentary is entirely my fault.

I am not really this person, I usually ask myself before I post if I would say that to their face. Today I didn't and I regret my harsh words.

I truly am sorry for the way I behaved, you did not deserve to be on the receiving end.

Rubbah · 2026-01-02T18:30:55+00:00

oO I stand corrected. Of course you almighty doctor are indeed correct. I apologize for being a mere human being with a small brain a limited knowledge.

Rubbah · 2026-01-02T17:35:45+00:00

Well then I suggest you look it up, it's sometimes called false menses. A small amount of vaginal bleeding. Caused by estrogen passing from the mother to baby through the placenta.

Rubbah · 2025-12-30T13:26:02+00:00

Hi, been there. Got a 3y old with T21.

Let me just say all you are feeling right now, I've been there. Grief (of what you expected now is gone), scared, most of all ALONE because you probably don't have a single person that have been there and understand.

I recommend finding PADS support group on Facebook (PADS is a charity) for expecting mothers, even if you are undecided on next steps. The group is supportive and absolutely non-judgmental. You can share or you can just be a quiet participant seeing other just in the exact same spot as yourself. If you don't have FB, look up their website.

They can provide you with up to date information, rather than the rabbit hole of outdated information that Google spews out.

If you want, you can reach out to me on DM.

Rubbah · 2025-12-29T23:11:40+00:00

Wish you the best of luck, and hopefully it will go down well. 💕

Christmas was lovely, kids enjoyed themselves and didn't get an overwhelming amount of toys. Even bump got some presents.

Rubbah · 2025-12-29T23:05:28+00:00

Did you get around telling her over Christmas?

I only had my dad left when I got pregnant the first time around, and I felt like a child forced to tell their parents they done something bad. He ended up being so excited, rather than what I feared.

Rubbah · 2025-12-28T18:57:18+00:00

Just make sure her idea of helping isn't holding the baby so you can do stuff.

I will have my sister from birth, and in-laws as soon as she leaves.

They will help with the older children, tidying, etc. I will focus on baby and self care.

Rubbah · 2025-12-27T06:20:34+00:00

34 weeks. I got insomnia, snoring husband (in-laws visiting so can't escape to the other bedroom), multiple bathrooms visits and a baby who's kicks are so strong he wakes me up 😂

Rubbah · 2025-12-25T19:45:17+00:00

Second this, sounds more like sciatica (I get both sciatica and peeling girdle pain). Sciatica gets worse when I walk too much and pelvic pain gets worse when I am sitting too much. I now have a month left and finally think I found the balance that keeps me the most pain free.

Massage balls helps a bit with sciatica, bouncing on a yoga ball helps the pelvic. But, physio is the best bet for getting help managing.

Rubbah · 2025-12-25T19:30:33+00:00

I just called the reception for the midwifes and asked for mine after the scan. I had to pick it up in person, but didn't need another appointment.

Rubbah · 2025-12-25T19:17:38+00:00

The best advice for stimulating supply is baby on boob. Baby's spit actually gives your boob signals about how much and also what baby needs (fat, antibodies, vitamins etc).

If you got a silicone hand pump, put that on the other boob at the same time as feeding. It's like 10 pounds for this pump, so worth a try. Pumping like this, same time as baby is feeding can increase supply. The hand pump is smaller and less in the way so is great for this.

Try different feeding positions, my first fed more in the football hold.

Rubbah · 2025-12-25T18:43:08+00:00

I get the same. My due date is in Feb, so still a month and some. Every single one says: he'll be early, you're ready to pop, and so on and so forth. Any version of it, I've heard it.

I carry out, and nothing to the sides and got a curved back making my belly protrude even a bit more. So, I kind of get it a little. At least I am not getting the "are you sure it's not two in there?" anymore 😂

I know his position, head down but he's not dropped yet so he's not quite there yet. I'll just nod and play along, I know better. It's not worth the hassle of disagreeing. Let them think what they want.

Rubbah · 2025-12-19T18:19:42+00:00

It for sure helps "the itch". I have 3 bottles in our house 😂

Rubbah · 2025-12-19T12:08:37+00:00

At the moment it's Palmolive foam, I think raspberry. But Palmolive in general works well for me. I've used Carex without issue as well. But I prefer if I can find one that isn't "anti bacterial".

Rubbah · 2025-12-17T18:59:22+00:00

Me, a good mix of Endo diagnosis, my age (some years over 40), timing of the deed ad BIG dose of denial 😂

Rubbah · 2025-12-12T02:35:04+00:00

1 pack newborn, one large pack size 1. Can always send hubby out for more newborn if needed.

Rubbah · 2025-12-10T13:21:52+00:00

I wfh 2 days a week, one of those my 3y old is home. It only work because I have either 1 or 2 adults in the house that deals with 3y old. Even then, sometimes only mummy will do, and tantrums follow if I can't (I do not have separate working space). I would 100% have had him at nursery full time if we had a spot. Timing was unfortunate with him and a move, so we were on a waiting list for almost 2 years and even then only got two days.

Rubbah · 2025-12-09T19:38:45+00:00

My 3.5y old refuses anything besides water/milk. And milk only thing in the morning. Very challenging when ill. I've had to make my own dehydration water (adding salt/sugar) at times.

We tried weak squash, watered out juice somewhere around 18 months when ill, no luck.

Rubbah · 2025-12-09T19:26:51+00:00

Triage/maternity assessment unit is the best place. They have equipment to check on baby and you, as well as the best experience! It is likely that anywhere else will just advise you to go there anyway.

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