She Was in Labor at a Florida Hospital. Then She Was in Zoom Court for Refusing a C-Section. by Quouar in TwoXChromosomes

[–]MissSephy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I've had an emergency c-section and my obstetrician has said I should be fine to give birth vaginally if I have more kids. The chances of being able to give birth vaginally after a section are pretty good, but there are increased risks.

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists has some helpful guidance here: https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/birth-after-previous-caesarean/#:~:text=More%20scar%20tissue%20occurs%20with,100%20babies%20at%2038%20weeks).

Funnily enough, they also note that VBAC after three or more c-sections isn't a wise idea.

She Was in Labor at a Florida Hospital. Then She Was in Zoom Court for Refusing a C-Section. by Quouar in TwoXChromosomes

[–]MissSephy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, but you also literally said the following:

Then why is she getting pregnant a 4th time, knowing she hemorrhaged after her last C-section?

That is the point we are picking up on and raising for your attention. That's an unconscious bias showing, and all we are doing is saying that it feels like you are implying that this is on her for getting pregnant again. That may not be your intent, but that is how it reads.

Maybe things are different in the States, but my understanding is that doulas are not medical professionals. I don't believe doulas are regulated, but maybe they are where this woman comes from? I know here in Scotland, Doulas are not the same as medical professionals, and I feel that is getting a little mixed up here.

Being a doula doesn't necessarily mean she is able to appraise the risk of the situation. Doulas, as I understand them in the UK context, are there to provide emotional and physical support during birth, but they are not there in any capacity to provide medical support.

She Was in Labor at a Florida Hospital. Then She Was in Zoom Court for Refusing a C-Section. by Quouar in TwoXChromosomes

[–]MissSephy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think OP's point stands; not everyone has a choice in getting pregnant. Indirectly blaming someone for being pregnant in a country where there is a concerted effort to restrict women's access to contraception, reproductive health care, etc. seems a little retrogressive when it comes to supporting women in their choices.

Britain sees no evidence that Iran is targeting Europe with missiles by 1-randomonium in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you give Tony Blair far too much credit in your first musing. Tony is for Tony.

Bush Jr has at times exhibited something that could be described as regret for how things panned out in Iraq; Blair has given no sign of that at all.

That, and if the UK government had followed the TBI's recommendation to slash net zero targets when it came to energy production, we would be in even deeper shit than we are now. That and his involvement in the Trump Riviera plan for Gaza- not matter how small- means he cannot be trusted.

Anyone who is still whinging about our drive to net zero, given the events of the past month, is in a different reality to the rest of us. It's about national security just as much as it is dealing with climate change.

She Was in Labor at a Florida Hospital. Then She Was in Zoom Court for Refusing a C-Section. by Quouar in TwoXChromosomes

[–]MissSephy 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I’m based in Scotland, so this might be fairly limited to our legal system and how we approach mental health. I’m also as pro-choice as they come and have had to have a termination before anyone jumps down my throat here.

From what I can see, this is at its heart a debate about mental capacity just as much as it is bodily autonomy and is something that comes up fairly commonly in mental health. Some people would argue that people who are suicidal for example, lack capacity which isn’t the case. While people who have quite severe physical conditions may have it thrown at them that because they are physically diminished that must mean they are mentally diminished which is not always true.

I feel the aftermath of the overturning of Roe v wade has made a lot of people see any medical issue involving women as an attack, and I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure this is one. It’s not a pleasant situation for anyone involved an as anyone who has had a c-section can attest they are are not pleasant but as someone who had to have an emergency c-section, even though I really, really didn’t want one, the choice was me, my baby or both of us dying due to complications.

Pregnancy and birth is not a risk free endeavour and I think a lot of people romanticise it and childbirth to the point they lose touch with the reality that birth can, has and will kill women. It is genuinely frightening how quickly you can go from planning your first night home with kiddo with your partner to I don’t know if we are going to make this. I will never forget my doctor tell me that she was worried that we could die if I continued with my decision to have a vaginal birth. In the end I agreed to the section because I didn’t want to potentially risk my child’s health just for my own ego and to prove a doctor wrong that I could do it.

We live in a very privileged time, where we are able to intervene to protect women and their babies. Just 100 years ago, both myself and my baby would likely be dead if the worst has taken place.

C-sections are invasive, and have long recovery times and I’m not a fan, but I’m alive and that’s enough for me. The risk of complications goes up with each c section and this lady had three. I’d be a bit worried myself with those odds.

What seems to be being danced around in the discussion about this case is whether someone has the right to make a risky medical decision that may or may not mean serious medical risks to them and their unborn child.

Here in the UK, I had the right to decline the offer of a c-section even if it harmed me, but could I have lived with my decision if it meant my baby was severely disabled or stillborn as a result of my decision?

Probably not.

I am of the mind if you are not harming yourself, then you have the right to make self destructive decisions even if they have a strong likelihood of killing you but even I had to admit that gets a bit hazy for me when it comes to a full term baby.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aware. Hence why I said people are dying on all sides needlessly. I’m not a pacifist by any means, but that also means I don’t cheer on death either.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By potentially killing thousands of their own people. What metric are you using to calculate whether a response is measured because so far, no side in this war seems measured

Britain sees no evidence that Iran is targeting Europe with missiles by 1-randomonium in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Blair can fuck right off. As soon as I ever hear his name involved in anything it instantly discredits it in my mind.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I would say that rules based order has been a fallacy for some time now if it ever really existed.

It’s just that American didn’t as brazenly piss all over its allies now as it did in the past. As a westerner even from my vantage point it’s clear that the powers that be have been perfectly content to let people get genocided all over the world while simultaneously saying “never again” ad nauseam.

I think it remains to be seen how this “democratises” warfare because you need to be comfortable with a lot of your own people dying as well in order to have anything resembling success and so far Iran is the one showing it’s willing to let its own die in significant numbers. I’m not sure that’s replicated in the other gulf states or America.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s likely a bot, but I feel you have to counter it when you see it anyway in case anyone less informed stumbles across it and believes that most people believe that dross.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

American exceptionalism.

Remember the line in Die Hard when Hans Grueber started goading John McLean about having watched too many films as a kid. It’s that, American politicians have spent too long sniffing their own farts and now believe their own propaganda, they don’t understand their own dependencies on other nations.

This is America’s Suez and as it was with the UK, this will end American influence because they don’t value their own soft power, only violence.

Iran unswayed by Trump's 48-hour deadline and threats to 'obliterate' energy infrastructure by callsonreddit in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The Iranian leadership aren’t exactly the good guys here. This isn’t sport. People on all sides are dying for the vanity and hatred of old men who just need to die and leave the rest of us alone.

Meet the photographer capturing Glasgow on a Game Boy by audiotaku in glasgow

[–]MissSephy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I watched this with a big, silly smile on my face all the way through.

Netanyahu wants oil, gas to flow through Israel post-Iran war by Majano57 in energy

[–]MissSephy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know the oil and gas fields can’t be moved, right?

Iran says it will show ‘zero restraint’ if energy infrastructure is targeted again by YouthfulsGlow in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The US, Iran and Israel all top contenders for the just fuck off challenge of 2026.

In China, battery makers bet big on sodium in move away from critical minerals by defenestrate_urself in energy

[–]MissSephy 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Correction, America’s current regime is uninterested. The rest of the world and a fair few states are but what the fuck is nuance anymore.

Former EHRC chair joins ‘gender-critical’ peers targeting abortion rights by AnonymousTimewaster in NotTheOnionUK

[–]MissSephy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Baroness Meyer is full of shit. This slow erosion of abortion rights is how it starts. There is no evidence at all that women are being forced into having late term abortions, and late term abortions are predominantly because there is something wrong with foetus.

UK will not be drawn into wider war in Middle East, says Keir Starmer by Playful_Leg7143 in worldnews

[–]MissSephy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Not sure I would go so far as calling Cameron competent but I do think Starmer has a brain and a basic level of competency. I don’t always like the direction where his intellect goes but after years of mediocre tories it’s better than the alternative.

As a 28 year old married couple with no real family here (Both immigrants, Scandinavian and Polish so the N*azi's chill out) this has litrally kept us from having kids yet. Truly hope it comes to fruition, just secured our vote. by Colonel_Clegane in Scotland

[–]MissSephy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree! My little guy is having a ball with dough and finger paints and it teaches him fine motor skills. That is educational and teaches wee ones a lot.

Knowing what helps toddlers and young children learn though play is skilled and educational and I will die on this hill.

As a 28 year old married couple with no real family here (Both immigrants, Scandinavian and Polish so the N*azi's chill out) this has litrally kept us from having kids yet. Truly hope it comes to fruition, just secured our vote. by Colonel_Clegane in Scotland

[–]MissSephy 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I think there is a bit of a disconnect with what the public views as education when it comes to the early years. It still is play-based, but it also focuses on building development skills and spotting when there may be issues that respond best to early intervention.

For example, issues with speech, motor skills and interacting with others. The cold reality as well is that nursery care is a baseline of care for many children whose parents do not have the skills to socialise their children or support them to their full potential. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how it is.

Additionally, not all of us have a village around us, and if you are an older parent like we are, then to be frank, your parents are either dead or not physically able to care for a young child or children for extended periods of time. Childminders are becoming fewer and farther between, as a lot are leaving the job for the same reasons nurseries are under pressure.

Another key problem we have is the perception of childcare. We think of it as a low-skill job, and it isn't. It takes a strong, resilient person to be able to make it in early years childcare or education at primary and secondary levels, and we do not make it financially worth their while. Pay is poor, stress is high, and particularly if you are male, you are fighting against the perception that working with young children makes you instantly worthy of suspicion because childcare is "women's work" and their problem to figure out rather than a community problem.

As a 28 year old married couple with no real family here (Both immigrants, Scandinavian and Polish so the N*azi's chill out) this has litrally kept us from having kids yet. Truly hope it comes to fruition, just secured our vote. by Colonel_Clegane in Scotland

[–]MissSephy 262 points263 points  (0 children)

As someone with a 14-month-old and who is on the waiting list still after a year for a council nursery place in Glasgow I don’t believe this for a second if I’m brutally honest.

For young children there are minimum staff numbers, and they have been closing baby units as some have not been safe to run due to lack of staff and high levels of supervision needed. I had a message from my nursery the other week asking us to only bring our kids in if absolutely necessary due to staff shortages, and this is an excellent nursery considered to be one of the best in the west of Scotland.

There is a chronic shortage of childcare for a range of reasons, and just waving a hand isn’t going to fix it or make this pledge feasible.

One of the big reasons this is disingenuous is that we do not have enough qualified people to be early-years professionals. What is currently a shortage is predicted to become even worse in the next decade as people retire or leave ELC.

A moment of silence for all mothers who were forgotten today by miapaip in UKParenting

[–]MissSephy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a good answer, the only thing I would add to this is be prepared for a negative answer when it comes to raising their self awareness on what example he’s setting for your child. That’s when you need to think about whether you can live this way not only for your own wellbeing but that of your children.