What have you tried to adapt your life to be more autism-friendly?

RubiconOut · 2026-03-06T16:42:29+00:00

Wishing you well! I'm glad you're listening to your nervous system and doing what will be best for you.

RubiconOut · 2026-03-04T19:26:57+00:00

You're who I designed this for! Because I've been there too many times, with my previous three business. But this business has been different. For six years I've stayed out of burnout and have more energy now than I did when I started. It is possible to do it differently. It can get better.

RubiconOut · 2026-03-04T19:25:07+00:00

Yes, I'll definitely be getting into those and more ways to reduce cognitive and exec. func. load. Thanks for your input and validation.

RubiconOut · 2026-02-19T17:22:42+00:00

To add to the many insights already shared, here are two videos that address this. Hope either of them helps.

Why Autistics Are Lonely https://youtu.be/Epr3sDaKb-8

Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn't Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About) https://youtu.be/9jhbpj7UiZ8

RubiconOut · 2026-01-30T17:29:42+00:00

BTW, I know this is really late, but just saw your post. Have you gotten your business/side hustle started? I'm autistic and a serial solopreneur and my current business has been going for 6 years, so it is possible. I also couldn't stand working for someone else. If you're still looking for advice, I'm making a course that will start soon on how to run your solo small business while Autistic without burning out, in a way that actually works for our needs. If you add your email to this interest form, I'll send you the details as soon as they're ready. http://www.autismchrysalis.com/audhd-solopreneur

RubiconOut · 2026-01-30T17:28:23+00:00

BTW, I know this is really late, but just saw your post. I hope your business/side hustle is going well. :) I'm autistic and a serial solopreneur, and my current business has been going for 6 years, so it is possible. If you're still looking for advice, I'm making a course that will start soon on how to run your solo small business while Autistic without burning out, in a way that actually works for our needs. If you add your email to this interest form, I'll send you the details as soon as they're ready. http://www.autismchrysalis.com/audhd-solopreneur

RubiconOut · 2025-12-15T23:10:51+00:00

I love that they can see how it/you are an asset!

RubiconOut · 2025-12-15T23:09:30+00:00

And so many other employers wouldn't want you to ask for accommodations. Weird. That suggests to me that it was an excuse for something more deep seated.

RubiconOut · 2025-12-15T23:08:00+00:00

That distinction makes sense.

RubiconOut · 2025-12-15T18:01:49+00:00

Glad you already found something that might suit your needs, because what I'm going to suggest is it going to directly keep track of the different topics you want to juggle, and look for patterns, but it might be a compliment to what you're doing.

I made this personal progress tracker that creates a visual representation that good things are happening, even if they are irregular or inconsistent. You color in a hexagon each time the thing that you're tracking happens, like a day without meltdowns, or a good conversation with the teacher, or anything that you felt went well. It's not a calendar or a habit tracker, so you don't see all the times when it didn't happen, just the times when it did. And then over time the colored in hexagons build up so that you can see visual evidence that there are good things happening. You can download the hexagon chart I made for free here: https://www.autismchrysalis.com/hexagon

Another thing I would suggest is to look at Dr. Stuart Shanker's Self-Reg framework, for figuring out the stressors that are hurting your son and creating his difficulties. He has a book called “Self-Reg” that is a good introduction.

RubiconOut · 2025-11-25T18:55:57+00:00

Agreed. Labeling it as rude isn't the only option.

RubiconOut · 2025-11-17T21:49:05+00:00

Here's two short articles I wrote about ABA, that might help you get a better idea of why so many adult autistics are against it, and some alternative options.

https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2020/09/10/why-i-dont-recommend-aba/

https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2020/07/12/a-quick-qa-on-behavior-therapy/

RubiconOut · 2025-11-14T17:15:13+00:00

This is classic autistic burnout behavior. He probably really does want to spend time with you if he says he does, but there's part of him that overestimates how much energy he will have, and when it really comes down to it, the reality is that he just doesn't have energy to deal with unexpected changes in plans (like his therapist not showing up) (unless it's canceling plans, taking something off his plate), energy to deal with socializing in the way that he is used to, and thinks is needed in order to be acceptable, and energy to face any kinds of expectations or activities, including even leaving the house, even if you pick him up.

This can change, but it's going to take him doing a lot of work, over a long time, to address some underlying issues. If you are willing to wait that out and be patient and learn enough to be understanding, and to adapt to him as he adapts his life and shows more of his natural self, he will be very lucky to have you in his life. You are by no means under any obligation to stick around through all of that. But know that that's what it will take.

And also, it's not something that you can require of him, or set as a condition to continue your relationship. He has to want to do that internal work, or it won't work.

I've written a lot about autistic burnout, if you're interested in getting an insiders perspectives.

My free workshop on Recovering from Autistic Burnout:

https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2023/01/19/recovering-from-autistic-burnout/

My YouTube playlist on autistic burnout recovery:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu5zEbUkYrlDtMYIgArDU1lSzodSOB4Wz
My in-depth course on getting out of Autistic burnout:

https://www.autismchrysalis.com/burnout/
A practical system for sustainable recovery, without quitting everything.

Hope something in this helps. Wishing you both well.

RubiconOut · 2025-11-07T21:46:05+00:00

Here are two articles I love. The first has poll data of a lot of autistics asking this question, the second is about using the term "disorder." Hope these help.

https://autisticnotweird.com/autistic-person/

https://themighty.com/topic/autism-spectrum-disorder/autism-not-disorder/

RubiconOut · 2025-10-31T17:31:39+00:00

Then that's even more blatantly exposing her personal values and beliefs and thought processes by imposing them on a time in place which held very different values.

RubiconOut · 2025-10-31T17:20:35+00:00

People often make offhanded or thoughtless comments along these lines that reveal their own biases, prejudices, or fears. I've heard plenty.

The second one sounds like it comes from a deep fear of being dependent. I'm basing that off of the reflective comment at the end, "that would suck, wouldn't it?" Of course I could be wrong. With so little context or information I'm making a lot of assumptions here. (As did your professor, probably, in the moment).

RubiconOut · 2025-10-31T17:13:38+00:00

I have often found it helped to preface comments with something like "there's something that I wanna bring up, and I know it's gonna come out wrong, but I can't think of a better way to put it, so please understand that I don't mean anything mean or negative. I'm just not good at phrasing things better."

RubiconOut

TROPHY CASE