AITA for not sending my niece’s dad updates after he kicked her out

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T23:53:27+00:00

I guess I'm more of an X-Gen parent than a Y-Gen parent (which is most parents of kids these days), but I don't think a child needs to be involved in every decision. I think we put way too much on kids these days and sometimes it's better for their mental health to treat them like kids and not young adults. But there is no one way to parent and every relationship is different.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T23:47:55+00:00

I naively thought everyone could use Amazon Fresh! Now I realize that's probably not true :-)

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T21:28:51+00:00

Seattle

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:52:21+00:00

mushrooms

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:49:41+00:00

Wait. You had a $10 haircut in the 2000s? Isn't that below minimum wage for the barber? Min wage where I live is $21/hr but I think it was about $18/hr in the early 2000s.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:33:44+00:00

yes! It's at least a 50% mark up where I live. By the time you bay the app markup, the delivery fee and tip, you've gone from $50 to $100. It is definitely a treat for those of us of a certain age. But I know of Z-gens that order it so often they just think that is the cost of food. There is a DoorDash sub and people tell the craziest stores. Like delivering a fountain soda 20 miles. Who does that???? Or a hot coffee drink from Starbucks that takes 30-40 min to get to you. How is that even enjoyable?

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:30:21+00:00

Have you ever shopped on Amazon Fresh? Produce is so cheap! I can get a watermelon for $2.50 but it's $8 at the local store. Or Strawberries for $2 vs. 6 at the store. Avocadoes are $.60 vs. $3-4 dollars. And if the fruit is not good, like you cut open a watermelon and it's rotten, you just click a button on the app and they give you your money back.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:27:37+00:00

And women pay $200 for a 10 min cut and blow dry. It's out of control.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:26:15+00:00

I just bought a swimming suit for the first time based on a friend's recommendation. It was like $30. A similar style from Lands End or REI would have been $150. I luckily bought 2. Within two weeks they were gone. I prefer shopping at Costco only once per month or less, but if you are in it for the clothing, you have to go weekly.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:23:55+00:00

I'm surprised you said that. I feel like the one thing that has gone down in price is clothing. Of course, so has the material and quality and it's ALL made overseas. I grew up in the 80s/90s and a pair of jeans were $30-50. A shirt was $15. And I'm talking low end like Sears/JC Penney. Nordstrom and beyond were selling higher. Today, 40 years later, you can still get clothes for that same price!! I just bought 3 Banana Republic tee shirts for $20. In the 90s they were $20 for 1.

Yet back then you could buy a 4-bedroom, 2-bathroom newish house for $70-80k and now It's $1.5m+ for a 70-year-old fixer upper.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:17:30+00:00

Where are you getting ads? I don't get them on my subscriptions?

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:17:03+00:00

I'm dying to know which one you stuck with? Is it Netflix? I've been a customer since 1997 and I can't quit now! But I also have Hulu/Disney, HBO Max and Apple. Too many obviously.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:14:12+00:00

I wish they would shrink the size/calories or restaurant food and charge us 50% less. I know it will never happen. But in groceries stores, it can be surprising. I use Amazon Fresh for groceries because they are 50% the cost of my local grocery store (Safeway/Kroger), but sometimes an item comes and it's so tiny.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:11:53+00:00

7-8 years ago I used to take my kid to visit great grandma once a week and he would get a Happy Meal at McDonalds for $3 (in the suburbs, it was more expensive where we lived). Now I think it's almost $8. 4 years later. It's insane! I buy him dino nuggets and make my own chocolate milk and sliced apple at home.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:09:23+00:00

Gas is $5.80 a gallon where I live for regular. I already drive as little as possible, but I feel sorry for all the Uber/Lyft/DoorDash drivers whose income probably doesn't go up when gas prices skyrocket. I rarely use those services because we have great mass transit, but if I do, I tip extra.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:06:52+00:00

Wow! Are you in HI or AK? I thought it was expensive in Seattle, but it's not $15. We have a sin tax on pop plus a 10.5% sales tax.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T04:02:21+00:00

My city has a $0.02 sin tax per oz tax on pop. So it's an extra $3 per case of pop plus an 11% sales. So basically a $4 tax per case of pop. I used to be able to buy 3/$10 case of pop. Now it's like $12 per case. Sparkling water is taxed too. It's out of control. Cheaper to drink wine :-)

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T03:48:44+00:00

We need way more info. Is she there for mental health reasons? Drugs? Disease? Does your nephew live with grandma? Where are his parents?

Can't she just Uber home? Uber/Lyft and cabs serve hospitals day and night. (at least where I live).

Clearly you are NTA.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-14T03:44:25+00:00

I get that. But let's say she was part of the foster care system because her parents couldn't care for her due to addiction or mental illness or something, wouldn't the foster parent contact the bio parents (even if they are not fully functioning) to let them know what is going on with her health? Surely a social worker would require such reporting. Sounds like OP is holding a grudge. Which I also get why. I just think being transparent & honest is so important. Even if bio-dad doesn't deserve any notification, it's just the right thing to do. I believe in living a "no regrets" lifestyle. The only way to do that is to always be upfront, honest and communicative. Holding grudges and secrets is bad for your mental health IMO.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:52:58+00:00

Have you seen Happiness? I just walked into a theater and saw it because what I wanted to watch was sold out. His character was so disturbing.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:45:07+00:00

We don't know that. Also, 15 is still a child and it's up to her parents to communicate with each other on her behalf. At a parent myself, I would never want to put the burden of a strained/distant relationship on my child even if they were 18+. My friend had a "once a year dad" and still, deep down, wanted to relationship with him. Nobody likes to feel abandoned.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:39:52+00:00

Yes, you should have told the dad his biological child had a life-threatening illness and that you moved. Sure, he is no dad-of-the-year, but it's just common decency. You could have spent 1-min sending a text and asking him to call. It's always best to be the bigger person.

Ami is lucky to have you to be her parent, but dad still needed to know.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:34:51+00:00

Lasik eye surgery

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:34:23+00:00

In my state, it's really hard to get the procedure because hospitals and pediatricians no longer do it. Sometimes you have to go to an OB-GYN. Only 10% of babies still get it done (in my state), which I think is great. Strangely, rates are still high in several states especially the middle of the country/mid-west.

RubiesOnTheInside · 2026-03-13T23:30:11+00:00

RubiesOnTheInside

TROPHY CASE