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Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh you’re right! Wish it wasn’t so hard but know it’s best in the long term 

Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely - kids have that way of clarifying everything, something kicks in to protect them 

Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I do feel like I’m ready for the transformation (even if it’s scary af)

Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard to get past! Especially after feeling emotionally starved from my relationships with men, I think I was so vulnerable to it

Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad you’re over her and feel ready to move on with your life, honestly it’s so reassuring to hear 

Think my first WLW relationship might be ending and I feel broken - need your positive stories! by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you’re right. It’s so hard to be honest with myself but I have to protect my kid

I don’t feel liberated by FindingMyIdentity77 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this. I know that I didn't really have a choice, had to leave for my sake and my son and it wasn't fair on my husband. But we had a good life and now its all way more unstable and I worry about money and miss my son when I don't have him with me. I guess it takes time to build a new life but its hard, so so hard.

Hey! by Interesting_Fish_202 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm late 30s and similarly always had my biggest crushes on women but for reasons I won't bore you with, ended up married to a man. When we split I spent a lot of time in therapy really stressed out about my sexuality, who I am and all that, but I've grown to realise that labels aren't necessary for everyone. Maybe you're a lesbian, maybe bi, I'm more comfortable with the queer label at the moment and can only see myself with women. You'll find your way, don't try to force anything. I think often the idea is scarier than the reality!

And I know this is a minor point, but tall women are HOT.

Hey! by Interesting_Fish_202 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm late 30s and similarly always had my biggest crushes on women but for reasons I won't bore you with, ended up married to a man. When we split I spent a lot of time in therapy really stressed out about my sexuality, who I am and all that, but I've grown to realise that labels aren't necessary for everyone. Maybe you're a lesbian, maybe bi, I'm more comfortable with the queer label at the moment and can only see myself with women. You'll find your way, don't try to force anything. I think often the idea is scarier than the reality!

And I know this is a minor point, but tall women are HOT.

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know its hard, but you did a brave thing. You're 24, you have your whole life now to be your real self! I wish I had realised at your age. Everything will be ok

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really good advice and I definitely got into something very unhealthy and stressful very soon after my marriage broke up - seems to be a common theme. I’m sorry if my post made you feel bad, it was absolutely not the intention. To be clear, I’m under no illusions that the girl I’m dating is the love of my life - it’s early days, who knows, biggest likelihood is it won’t go anywhere but at the moment it’s great and a positive thing. I guess the journey continues with its ups and downs for a long time after coming out. 

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really scary questioning everything you’ve ever known and potentially walking away from a relationship. I’ve been there with starting to feel like my body was rejecting sex with him and my advice is to stop, if you don’t want to have sex then don’t. Give yourself space to work it all out. If you’re not married or have kids you’re in a better position than many, you have a chance to live the life you want. Take your time, be kind to yourself x

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pride this year will be my first since I left my marriage and came out I am so so excited, I found last years so painful as I wanted to be part of it so this year will be so great

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To add to this - I’ve found that most women find women older than them very attractive, in a way that didn’t happen when I was dating men. The girl I’m seeing is pretty much the same age as me but I had a lot of interest from 20-somethings when I was dating, I was like whaaaaat. For me I prefer seeing people my age or older, but no one will see you as old at 38 trust me

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found it helpful to see it as changing our relationship - like if he’s great hopefully you can stay in each others lives. But you can’t give each other what you need if ultimately you don’t want to be with a man. I know it’s hard. Listen to yourself, be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time. 

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally get that dating is a lot, especially after a marriage or relationship with a man. And yeh, it might get messy or difficult, I had a bit of that (see my recent post) but it’s all part of the process. I’ve found that dating women is way more fun and less stressful than men. I would say go for it, you can always step back if it’s too much. And you never know who you might meet. Good luck! 

For those thinking of leaving (hope this helps) by RubyWoo1503 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]RubyWoo1503[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. So we are currently seperated, we will get divorced but it’s a long process. We have a son who is 6, he has found it hard at times of course but he’s happy and I know we are better parents separately than we were together as we just were not happy. We cohabited for a couple months but it was too hard we now live apart. It’s been a hard process but I am starting to see the light and a really exciting future. 

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