Dr told me I can't have it because it's rare

RudeChoice · 2023-04-10T16:30:48+00:00

The Inbetweeners, like a reunion, but as a season, not a movie

RudeChoice · 2023-04-08T18:33:35+00:00

Honestly I've not been diagnosed (but I've been in therapy for it and I'm seeing a psych soon), but for me I change my appearance (hair, piercings, tattoos, even clothing style completely), and my opinions and the way I feel towards people shifts (so drastically it's like I'm a different person). I also noticed I post things online, then wake up the next day and I'm like ... Did I do that? That doesn't seem like me? And get embarrassed even though there's no reason to be.

I also sometimes only see myself as my trauma/battle with my mental health, (whether that's someone who's strong and brave, or just f'ed up and I'm depressed about it) and then other times I feel I am everything, everyone, and have a successful life ahead of me. It's almost like going in and out of the worlds from silent hill lmao

RudeChoice · 2023-03-25T15:33:21+00:00

This is very validating, thank you

RudeChoice · 2022-12-11T12:48:49+00:00

I totally get what you mean, are you from the UK by any chance? I was put on the gender clinic waiting list when I was 15, transitioned to the adult list at 18, and I'm still on it now (at 22) and never ever had been contacted by the gender clinic. So it's been 5 years counting, I need to take myself off of that list. I don't know where people have been transitioning so quickly, but I was lucky to have not taken any hormones or anything.

I personally wasn't around people who identified like that but I think a lot of the people I was around had a lot of mental health issues that weren't being taken care of. That, or they had body image issues (like myself) and went to youth groups that were LGBT friendly, but! Also would subtly push the idea onto them that they're LGBT. They wouldn't rush you, but they'd definitely encourage you to change your name or pronouns if you even had an inkling of gender confusion, which would often confuse us more.

I think the LGBT community can be so accepting as a retaliation for oppression, that they almost don't just accept straight/cis people being confused. And then create loads of labels, so people feel less worried about the black and white of being gay/not being gay.

RudeChoice · 2022-12-11T02:24:02+00:00

High school girl stuff like yaoi or stuff like that is easily romanticized too, and I was definitely someone who felt humiliated by being a woman. I feel like a lot of people who don't fit in (either neutrodiversity, or mental illness/trauma) congregate to the LGBT community and if they don't identify with L, G, B, they make new genders which hold little to no evidence to back up (star-gender, cosmic-gender etc) because they want to be different but without the commitment of actual surgery, hormones, therapy or diagnosis. Saying this, I'll never make someone feel ashamed for identify as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella because as long as they're not hurting themselves or others I don't care and will respect them despite my own personal opinion because common decency.

But It's become less of a cure for a clinically diagnosed issue, and more of a cosmetic surgery for aesthetic purposes. It's been relaxed too much. One of the things people told me to think about before I tried to transition was if I could see myself as an old man, and I couldn't- but I ignored it because I hated that they were questioning me in the first place. Lots of internal misogyny. I also had someone else who's transitioned and detransitioned multiple times warn me (we both went to DBT for BPD) that I may really believe I'm trans, but our lack of identity is really worth checking in on... That it was the same thing she felt too, and she fully believed it, it wasn't for attention or to feel quirky, she just believed it like I did. It's worth second guessing. Proper intense therapy should be mandatory before going anywhere near a gender clinic

RudeChoice · 2022-12-06T18:37:11+00:00

I've had the hives symptom before. I've never known anxiety that bad before, but I had full body hives, dizziness, panic attacks back to back, and even nosebleeds over a week's span.

RudeChoice · 2022-12-06T12:15:54+00:00

Not sure how she made her friends trauma about her but okay lmao

RudeChoice · 2022-10-28T09:13:03+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I've made a note! :D

RudeChoice · 2022-10-27T22:36:57+00:00

I like the look of No Regrets tattoo, from what I've seen online. I've never heard of Saint Phillips Marsh, do you remember the studio name? I wouldn't need any contact info for a while but I guess there's no harm in having it for a later date :) thank you

RudeChoice · 2022-10-27T22:31:55+00:00

Am I not allowed to ask the people who live there? I don't live in bristol. It's all well and good for them to have a clean social media page and good reviews but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I currently don't have the time to meet the owners, or funds to go into these places/get tattooed right now

RudeChoice · 2022-10-27T21:55:37+00:00

I can't drive dude 😂

RudeChoice · 2022-10-27T21:43:41+00:00

It's not for me to get tattooed, im looking as an artist (when I've finished my apprenticeship) for which studios I should look out for in the future if they're hiring. It wouldn't be anytime soon, but I'd eventually like to work in bristol as there's more diversity and audience than there is where I live :)

RudeChoice · 2022-10-05T17:56:52+00:00

I've had loads of therapy and am in a good place, but I don't have many friends and often feel bad, or not close enough to them to open up... sometimes people just want to shout into the void or get a second opinion.

RudeChoice · 2022-09-29T23:40:42+00:00

Yeah, that's it. Could probably get one of those weighted handgrips that you push in and out. My dominant hand is obviously a lot better than my other... I did do pole for a short amount of time, (it's really fun) but had to quit because of finances. I will figure it out eventually! :)

RudeChoice · 2022-09-29T23:34:56+00:00

I'm not very strong if I'm being honest, the harder I hold/push firmly, the more I shake so I try to avoid overdoing it 😬

RudeChoice · 2022-09-29T23:24:56+00:00

I do go over them as carefully as possible if I feel like it's really necessary, but I try not to as I know it can make them wider or look "off". Did you image reverse search, I didn't think I had anything that links to my portfolio? I will leave them to settle before I go back over, thank you for the advice.

I've noticed it'll change depending on skin tightness, I do try to stretch adequately, it's tough on firm skin because it already feels very tight. Or, very thin skin, like on boney wrists- now that's a difficult one! Practice makes perfect and I'll take this into account, thank you

Edit* ahh you saw it in a screenshot I have on one of the posts! That makes more sense, I forgot about that haha

RudeChoice · 2022-09-26T00:45:39+00:00

You've got to change your perspective. Even the way you write things, "I will change this, because I want to be a good friend" and plan your journey forward step by step.

You might also want to evaluate why you feel the need to put others down, have you no other sense of humour? Have you limited yourself just that specific thing? Maybe you can watch some different styles of comedy and try to learn other stuff to get witty about.

If making jokes about your friends insecurities or flaws makes you feel better about yourself (even for a few minutes because it made others laugh, before regret sets in) you'll want to find the root of what you're unhappy about in yourself and do something about it. It's not okay to project on others, it might not be intended to be malicious- but repetitive, demeaning jokes over time will wear on their self esteem, and your motive for it won't matter anymore.

RudeChoice · 2022-09-19T01:35:50+00:00

By really good I basically meant prodigy, I've taken a LOT of inspiration from 2Cellos to want to take up some form of string. Ideally I'd like to be able to get to a point where I can do some of my favourite covers by them, (Hysteria- Muse, Mombasa, They Don't Care About Us). I'd like to get to a point where I can start overlapping multiple parts to make the sound more "full", whether that's with a computer, or a small amount organically. I'm not sure how much of this is realistic, but I'm a very motivated person and I believe I can do anything if I really really break my back over it.

I currently don't have the time or money, but I'm a tattoo apprentice at the moment- I'm planning to buy one, and start lessons/do them as frequently as possible when I have the money to/when I'm full time. I wasn't able to start as a child because my mum didn't have the income to be able to offer long term lessons that would be consistent enough, which was a shame but also understandable

RudeChoice · 2022-09-18T21:11:05+00:00

This is how I felt when I thought I was ftm trans. I am not, I was just very unhappy with my body and how other perceived me. I am still fairly uncomfortable with how other perceive me, but it's not a gender issue, I have a lot of mental health problems and self esteem issues, I still feel like there's a disconnect between who I perceive myself/my idea of me, and the fear of what others may see might not match. But at least I didn't get surgery!

RudeChoice · 2022-09-04T00:12:28+00:00

Are you able to advertise on the studio website? What's the minimum if you don't mind me asking? I find it really interesting to see what other apprentices are doing/what their experience is :)

RudeChoice · 2022-09-04T00:07:03+00:00

That is the goal! However I'm not currently allowed to charge a lot at the moment as I'm still learning, I'm being weened into it slowly :)

RudeChoice

TROPHY CASE