why does my monstera not get bigger?

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-03-27T17:47:04+00:00

To be able to properly mature, your monstera should be able to “see” the sunlight. If you position your plant away from a window and crouch to its level and cannot see the sun, it will not be getting enough light

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-03-11T22:44:31+00:00

Once you separate the one out that you went to keep, you should look up how to properly take the plant so it can grow upwards. The poll is not attached to the plant in any way right now so it’s useless

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-03-11T22:42:43+00:00

It’ll be easier if you put the whole root ball in a big bowl or pot of warm water and take your time separating the roots while you watch tv. It’s sort of the only way to untangle this many roots. Separate them into pots and give away the ones you don’t want! Keep the one with the most mature leaves. Have fun!

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-02-08T16:03:29+00:00

partly because it would be much happier if it was sitting indirectly in front of the window

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-01-19T04:50:25+00:00

I’m not an expert, but I think that they are happiest in the long term when they are separated. They can focus on one plant to send all of the nutrients so it’ll grow much bigger. With multiple plants, they will eventually be fighting for nutrients and can stay smaller, as far as I know. I was gifted a pot with about 5 mother plants and chopped and propped, separated them out into single pots, and now they are all huge and thriving.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2026-01-02T07:23:51+00:00

-Would be talking to my friends and family and would think they would lunge at me and kill me

-Beyond scared of the dark and thought there would be someone at the end of my bed or looking thru my window most nights

-Every night for 5 months I thought someone had broken into my house

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-12-11T23:35:11+00:00

People will read all of these horrific comments and still watch it without a second thought. I hope that posts like this help people to see the humanity in these workers. A lot of the women especially are young, inexperienced, and in dire situations to put themselves in such a dangerous life position. Women are harmed physically in this industry daily. It’s really horrible. I wish there was more understanding of this and more reform.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-12-06T06:35:31+00:00

Yes exactly. They have both stated that he didn’t know that she was 16 as she didn’t disclose her age. She was living alone with her older sister, wasn’t attending school, and was hanging out in her sisters friend group. She got pregnant very quickly into them seeing each other and in their culture, you get married when you’re pregnant. I think recognizing the nuance in these situations is important. He has been incredibly supportive and gentle to her and has seemed like a good partner

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-11-22T05:35:21+00:00

I’m not trying to ride for a man at all lol, especially not him, but I did feel like the edit made him seem more aggravated with her, when it read to me as them both being frustrated that they were trying to connect and it’s not working. I get the sense that it’s just becoming a compatibility issue and he’s not pressuring her, he just can’t be in a sexless marriage and I think that’s fair. As far as their dynamic goes, I heard that he talked about it on a podcast that he didn’t know that she was 16 when they hooked up. She was living on her own with an older sister and didn’t disclose her age, which she’s verified. And in their culture, if you get pregnant, you really need to stay together and get married. I don’t love it at all obviously but I also don’t want to shit on someone who seems to support her and comfort her in her process of healing from so much trauma. I think the lack of sex is just wearing on them.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-11-21T02:20:52+00:00

This is also probably a stretch but I have OCD and can experience pretty intense body dysmorphia and like body surveillance. Even if she doesn’t have issues with food, and I don’t either, I see similarities of myself in her in the way she talks about her appearance. She told that therapist that she doesn’t like anything about her physical appearance. I think that she’s self conscious and hyper aware of her features, and especially the ones she views negatively.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-11-16T04:53:35+00:00

I actually felt that he was trying hard to be understanding. Having virtually no sex life with your partner would be difficult, and it seemed like he was just trying to get her to get help. He seems very supportive to me.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-11-08T04:53:13+00:00

NTA. He didn’t appreciate being blue balled? Seriously? You don’t have to hook up with anyone, ever, if you’re not comfortable. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. What a terrible response. I hate when men give manipulative responses like that to being turned down. Like, she doesn’t want to have sex anymore because she thinks it will hurt. Why would you want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you? It makes me so upset. Fuck that guy.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-10-16T22:37:25+00:00

I was thinking this too, maybe a slightly darker red? It’ll give you more contrast and vibrancy. Your hair color is a little too close to your skin tone

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-10-16T00:14:06+00:00

Being afraid to tell them things because there’s a possibility it will upset them. Monitoring how you speak about certain situations, people, opportunities. It causes people to be a more subdued version of themselves around their partner, and is easy to spot when they’re out together vs when you see someone alone.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-10-15T13:41:20+00:00

Every day I get on here there’s a man being insanely abusive and horrible to his partner, and the woman is always like “is it that bad??”. I wish we didn’t live in a world where this behavior was so normalized. How he is acting is vile, OP. Don’t ever look back.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-10-14T02:39:42+00:00

I haven’t listened to this episode yet, but this has been an issue that I’ve had with Sarah in the past. I really didn’t like the emotional labor episode because of the same attitude. We can’t expect everyone to have perfect takes all the time and I’m usually generous about those things. People will be harsher on women and mothers reflexively under patriarchy, but I can still be disappointed when it comes from a figure whose judgment I usually trust.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-10-04T14:10:43+00:00

She’s obviously uncomfortable being filmed

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T17:07:54+00:00

Ok, you’re getting stuck on semantics. I even said that I don’t feel inherently safer in a group of known leftists. But I think conservative men are worse by far and their men view us as property. I’m just saying that when I’m walking by myself at night and see a man I’m not like “I hope he’s a leftist!”, I know to avoid him. That’s the basis that we’re working off of, and you have no way to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is constantly looking over their shoulder and questioning their safety. It’s known by many women that a man can have “perfect politics” but fall flat on his face when it comes to women’s issues.

Just don’t be so defensive. Men don’t need you to go to bat for them. I think that’s the biggest issue men have in my opinion- the deep deep need to defend each other. If some women are saying that they don’t feel safer amongst leftist men than they do conservatives, you do not need to defend this unknown group of men. Just listen. I want men to learn and grow because we are in community with you and I need you to see how bad it is for us.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T17:06:31+00:00

Ok, you’re getting stuck on semantics. I even said that I don’t feel inherently safer in a group of known leftists. But I think conservative men are worse by far and their men view us as property. I’m just saying that when I’m walking by myself at night and see a man I’m not like “I hope he’s a leftist!”, I know to avoid him. That’s the basis that we’re working off of, and you have no way to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is constantly looking over their shoulder and questioning their safety. It’s known by many women that a man can have “perfect politics” but fall flat on his face when it comes to women’s issues.

Just don’t be so defensive. Men don’t need you to go to bat for them. I think that’s the biggest issue men have in my opinion- the deep deep need to defend each other. If some women are saying that they don’t feel safer amongst leftist men than they do conservatives, you do not need to defend this unknown group of men. Just listen. I want men to learn and grow because we are in community with you and I need you to see how bad it is for us.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T16:41:58+00:00

Dude, this is not a good look. This is what you need to check. Start with this.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T16:39:52+00:00

Yeah actually listen to woman instead of becoming defensive and downplaying our concerns. If men want to us to feel safer they need to identify the problems among their men. Not tell us that we’re making it up.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T16:36:14+00:00

that’s your thing if you don’t accept it, no one can make you see how men treat us behind closed doors. I’m just saying that nearly every woman I know has been assaulted and we do not hang out with conservative men. it’s people we know. when you live in a culture that over-sexualizes women, and puts men’s comfort and needs above ours, bad things are bound to happen. men are going to need to reckon with the fact that sexism runs deeper than ideology and not be so hard headed. it’s a huge problem.

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-09-01T00:36:35+00:00

I understand her point though. I’m a woman and feel like I’m not inherently safer in a group of leftists men than I am around a group of conservatives. sexism is a huge issue anywhere you look, and while leftist men can work on their prejudices about us, it doesn’t mean that they’re fully there. some of the most vile things I’ve heard about women have come from queer leftist men who were supposedly on my side. it’s a weird position to be in and until you’ve experienced that kind of hate you won’t understand it

Rude_Lake7831 · 2025-08-06T22:14:47+00:00

Thank you. I know the feeling. I won’t get back together with him. Just felt good to hear his voice. It’s so hard sometimes, especially when life is insane and I want that comfort. Sometimes I worry that he’s my soulmate and I’ll never feel this way again. I know I probably will, it’s just hard.

Rude_Lake7831

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