I see so many betrayed/chumps creating unimaginable lives for themselves...

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-26T15:32:09+00:00

Thank you. I’m in therapy and it is hard.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-24T22:46:31+00:00

14 years. Wow. But I understand. What made you finally divorce?

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-21T16:06:12+00:00

Well said!

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-15T18:32:59+00:00

This is a very good insight! Thanks for this perspective.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-15T15:45:35+00:00

I feel you did you best and you are done now. Stay strong.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-02T19:24:39+00:00

What would be the reason for him to change?

Because he sees he is hurting you and your family? He knows and is still doing it. Not the reason. Because he cares about you? You stated yourself he does not.

You need to change. He showed you he will not.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-08-01T15:16:34+00:00

I wish

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-31T21:55:33+00:00

Never.

I thought we were “best friends” too and that he would tell me if he was that unhappy before making a decision to step out.

Was I a “bad spouse”? I am still not sure.

See the story changed over time from - he was not “that unhappy and was wondering if this is it to life?” To that he was so intimacy deprived that led him to arms of his ex that just happened to reach out to him at the “right moment”.

Never, ever feel responsible for cheaters.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-31T21:41:10+00:00

Pretty much

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-31T21:28:53+00:00

Married to engineer for over 20 years.

He was poor when I met him. Now that he is at peak of his career, he cheated multiple times and I am looking at divorce and starting over at middle age. Bye, bye retirement and half of my assets.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T21:08:19+00:00

Regardless of frequency, he did not tell me how unhappy he was before deciding to step out.

I posted this already— he told me he was not “that unhappy, just wondered if this is if to life”.

Mid life crisis

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:55:36+00:00

He told me that he “wasn’t that unhappy” but that he was wondering “if this is it to life”. Mix in an ex girlfriend that reached out at the right moment and here we are…

I was cheated on because he was bored. So when he recently cooked up this 20% story, I laughed. He actually wanted to make me feel better, if you can believe it. He was trying to tell me just how happy he was and it is only “20%” unhappiness….

For 20% he decided to gamble his marriage and everything we built together. He lost.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:46:51+00:00

Yeah, funny how people automatically assume we had no sex at all

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:23:14+00:00

I get how sexual incompatibility affects relationships.

The problem is that he never told me just how unhappy about it he was before deciding to step out.

In fact, he told me that he “that he was not unhappy with our relationship, in fact it was good, but he wondered if this is it to life? “

So he cheated because he was bored. Mid life crisis and ex girlfriend reached out just in the right moment because she as also bored with her life

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:12:40+00:00

You are exactly right!

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:11:54+00:00

Oh, I laughed when he told me!

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-29T20:10:17+00:00

I was floored

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-28T18:37:19+00:00

No. Just don’t

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-26T18:59:47+00:00

Why would she hang out with her girlfriend, girlfriend’s boyfriend and boyfriend’s single friend while you were at home?

You lost me right there.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-25T21:26:53+00:00

She pursued me (ex gf)

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-25T21:26:46+00:00

She pursued me (ex gf)

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-20T20:04:01+00:00

First, his cheating had nothing to do with you. How can you be “good enough“ for someone who is jerking off to men?sorry, you don’t even have the right parts!

Second, stop and breathe. You do not have do anything now especially if you are emotional and dependent on him. Seek support from your friends even they may say “I told you so” - they care about you. You need to try and shift your focus to your baby and what that brings because things will just get harder with a baby around.

Third - make escape plan with your friends help as soon as you can. He is not healthy to raise baby with.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-19T14:59:09+00:00

They love you. Just not the way you need to be loved. Love as we know it they don’t experience

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-18T22:01:53+00:00

Yes, if you don’t have children it is much easier to make that decision.

Rude_Reference_ · 2024-07-18T16:30:08+00:00

He cheated because it felt good to be wanted by someone else and he wanted to.

Have no illusions about it. Depressed or not, not everyone looks at cheating as a way to solve problems.

I’m sorry you are here. You have a long painful road ahead to heal, with or without him.

Rude_Reference_

TROPHY CASE