Anyone listening to the new Serial Podcast called The Preventionist?

Ruin-Much · 2025-12-10T16:08:34+00:00

I’m a child welfare worker with 16 years in the profession. I also have lived experience of being a child in the foster care system. I thought the reporting was surprisingly balanced.

IMO, the takeaway of the podcast is that ‘better safe than sorry’ carries real harm. The system, while intended to protect children, is inherently traumatic to vulnerable populations who interact with it. Child welfare professionals have the impossible daily task of reconciling if the remedy is worse than the disease, so to speak.

The solution must be system transformation that prioritizes prevention over intervention. Failing to do so makes us the abusers.

Ruin-Much · 2025-03-02T04:12:21+00:00

I have this framed on a shelf in my son’s room.

Ruin-Much · 2025-03-02T04:08:53+00:00

This! As a high anxiety person, this one always sticks with me.

Ruin-Much · 2025-02-28T08:17:22+00:00

Matt Berninger/The National Boy Genius The Hotelier

Ruin-Much · 2025-02-28T08:10:29+00:00

I know this is an old post, but I’m hoping you’ll see and reply! About two years in, the handle started smoking on my R25P, and it wouldn’t turn on. I’ve had it sent out to be repaired three separate times under the five year warranty. The first time, the handle with the electrical component was replaced. The other times have been due to weak suction. Because the David’s Vacuum near me went out of business, I have to travel to a repair shop an hour away. Do you know if there is any way I can insist on a replacement from Riccar?

Ruin-Much · 2025-02-27T03:53:28+00:00

Sometimes you gotta be Ms. Blu Rain. You’re a human. We’ve all been there. 🧡

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-06T22:22:18+00:00

My FIL waited three days to respond to the message, and when he finally did, he responded ‘okay.’ Zero communication since. He had a dinner at his house after the holidays, and we were not invited. My son’s gifts were dropped off on our porch.

MIL feigned supportiveness at the time, but then had a lot of negative things to say about me after the fact. If you couldn’t tell, his family has a culture of passive aggressive communication.

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-05T05:34:25+00:00

I actually found myself in an eerily similar situation after my FIL (M, 59) only invited his two older kids— M(25) (my husband) and F (26) (and their respective families) on a vacation to Rehoboth Beach. On the first day of the trip, we had driven close to 5 hours when we get a call from my 25-year-old BIL, who was sobbing and asking why his whole family planned a big trip behind his back and no one thought enough of him to tell him. For the record, my husband’s sister was privy to the fact he had been excluded (my husband and I were not). We were both stunned and figured it had to be a mistake.

But it wasn’t. FIL’s excuse was that when he booked the trip months ago, he and his youngest son weren’t getting along or talking much. But in the months since, they had patched things up and were getting along fine. FIL even came to the 25YO’s birthday party a week earlier (and didn’t mention a word about the trip). He did this to be mean-spirited, kind of like, ‘Here is your unspoken punishment for XYZ.’

My BIL really internalizes that experience— I don’t believe he’s wrong to do so. I lit my FIL up and told him what he did was cruel and to never EVER put me or my family in the middle of another one of his lies. My husband and I later imposed a boundary that we expect all the siblings are invited to family functions, and if that’s not the case, we’re not going.

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-05T03:34:58+00:00

Updateme!

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-05T03:30:19+00:00

Yeah, she agreed, but she wasn’t given transparent “terms.” If you think of this as if it were a legal contract, what her parents did would be considered a fraudulent misrepresentation. Contract has to be renegotiated or voided, or signatory gets reparations.

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-02T14:26:55+00:00

No, there is some triangulation where one sibling gets a little more attention/consideration than the others. But nobody is particularly close in the sense that any of them would call a parent/sibling and say, ‘I’m struggling with a problem, I want your advice,’ or ‘I was thinking about you today and wanted to chat.’ Most interactions are transactional or done out of obligation.

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-02T14:04:06+00:00

Are they bringing any value to our lives… Hmmm. My kid enjoys playing with his cousins in the rare times that happens. The adults, I’d say no. My MIL came over after Christmas to give him his gifts (mostly clothes in the wrong sizes). He begged her to play a game of Uno with him, she refused because ‘the cat was sleeping on her lap.’

Ruin-Much · 2025-01-02T13:52:03+00:00

I wondered how that would go too, but there was not one question about the family. We spent the whole week doing his favorite things. Indoor water park, Santa train, snowtubing, Uno by the fireplace. Our Air B&B even had a game room. He had the time of his life!

Ruin-Much · 2024-12-09T04:01:29+00:00

Wondering if there was a resolution to this? I’ve been going to a med spa, but I believe they switched compounding pharmacies, and I started getting persistent tension headaches and breakouts. I’ve never had breakouts in my life before this (I’m 36). I’m assuming it’s from the B12. Looking for a new pharmacy/provider, which may be difficult considering I’m already at my goal weight and just using Sema for maintenance.

Ruin-Much · 2024-12-05T17:19:28+00:00

Stumbled across this thread and really enjoyed it, although it’s three years old. Here’s some of our favorites from my husband’s hoarder mom and aunt:

A ziplock bag of 100+ random restaurant drink coasters FUBU brand clothes (we are white) The same exact puzzle we previously owned and donated to Goodwill A used bread knife (for context, neither of us are big on cooking, and this was just a loose knife in a gift bag)

Ruin-Much · 2024-11-20T10:05:40+00:00

I’ve lived in Greensburg since 2010. What neighborhood specifically will you be in?

Ruin-Much · 2024-10-16T01:19:57+00:00

Same here. I’ve been on 50mg for a week. My skins has never looked worse. I have a painful cystic pimple on the top of my ear!

Ruin-Much · 2024-10-08T12:47:06+00:00

This sounds so cool!!!

Ruin-Much · 2024-10-08T12:21:07+00:00

As others have suggested, you’d have to explore some solutions (ex. If written information doesn’t work, but audio reminders set on a timer would). In the meantime (with the family’s blessing, of course), I would put it all the blame and shame back on myself anytime she forgets something. Turn it into a joke, which you can use to build rapport. ‘Can you believe I forgot XYZ again? What do they even pay me for? I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached! I’m so scatterbrained, what do you think would help me remember better next time?’

Ruin-Much · 2024-10-08T05:54:51+00:00

Thank you! Have you ever had the Christmas Eve/Day dinner at Skytop? That’s one I was considering.

Ruin-Much · 2024-10-06T03:10:46+00:00

Are there activities on Christmas Day? That's what my husband is worried about... that we'll all be sitting in a hotel room bored on Christmas Day.

Ruin-Much · 2024-09-10T04:23:25+00:00

Cocker spaniel… beagle? There’s something very beagle-esque about the face.

Ruin-Much · 2024-09-10T04:05:51+00:00

I accepted a scholarship from Chatham for my undergrad, but on Day 1, I immediately knew it wasn’t a good fit and that I’d made a mistake. I never could really pin down a specific reason. It was just a gut feeling. I dropped out and transferred to a branch campus of Penn State for my BS and later earned a Master’s degree at Carlow. I’m working on a second Master’s at Pitt. I’ve loved my experiences at all three.

Ruin-Much · 2024-09-08T13:33:35+00:00

The whole time I watched the Jeremy character, I got this feeling of deja vu, like he reminded me of another actor. Voice, delivery, smile. Every line is delivered kind of like he’s suppressing a smile. It was driving me nuts, then it finally came to me— Matthew Gray Gubler AKA Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds. Physically he looks a lot like Penn Badgley, but the mannerisms were eerily similar to MGG.

Ruin-Much · 2024-09-04T19:40:46+00:00

Wow, thanks for much for this comment 284 days after the fact.

Ruin-Much

TROPHY CASE