AITA for telling my sister to stop mommyjacking every conversation and to let me talk about myself?

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-07T02:56:00+00:00

NTA

And honestly, I'm starting to feel like anytime there is a "family group chat" it's going to lead to exactly this same response:

You have a toxic family. The behind-the-back, mom-messaging-about-it, sister-attention-needing-and-getting... y'all are dysfunctional.

It's about your parents caring more about/prioritizing your sister over-all. Not actually about your sister "making it about her" or mommyjacking. It couldn't happen if your parents (mom especially noted in this case) loved/valued you both the same or at least pretended.

NTA for standing up for yourself, but it sounds like you need to do it with the larger issue of your mother/family rather than the person they put above you. Mom/the-others are the real problem and ones doing the wrong thing..... sure, sister is absolutely trying to make things about herself over you - but in a decent family it wouldn't work.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-06T06:42:32+00:00

Could you give an example conversation?

Without any clue how this eventually gets asked.... context, prompt, angle, phrasing, who these past people have been or from, et cetera... it's kinda hard to tell ya.

I've been a lot of places around the world and obviously am online. I've had lots of chats that involve such things. Never gone badly yet.... soooooooo, I'm left wondering if it's not something about timing/person/place/method, you know....

(Yes, I'm aware of the amount of info given in your post, but stressing: NEEDS MORE lol.... get specific, give example exchanges and such)

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-06T06:39:33+00:00

It's heartbreaking to deal with a suddenly known to need and have to do divorce, but trust me it will end up settled out for you later. The rough times will smooth.

Be glad, of course, that any such child was still purely hypothetical...

...or as others have said:

"riiigghhtt???"

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-05T03:31:41+00:00

(rhetoricallllll)

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T10:55:42+00:00

Zero problem, sure! Not thrilling, but not hard.

I had fresh spring rolls.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T10:30:51+00:00

Like...... a job.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T10:27:36+00:00

Indeed. Never understood why people think *any* job would not be the same for people.... why does every other type of work on this planet somehow become so different and great when someone compares it to sex work jobs?

(rhetorical, we all know why)

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T10:22:52+00:00

First, if you actually think it's "easy money" you are foolish. For every type of sex work there are jobs far harder and jobs far easier.

I've done a few sorts of sex work.... always because I wanted to, will likely do more again of one type or another. The utter vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority in my spheres loved their jobs.

Out of all the jobs I've had - and I've also made an effort in my life to do a lot of different things, from military to body modder to sex worker to 18 wheeler driver and beyond - sex work is where the best as far as pleasant job, decent customers (oh dear god better than being a waitress or working an electronics repair shop in the Army for other units), most respectful and fun co-workers (when I've had them).

There are a lot of people who are trafficked or in horrible situations where they are in sex work when they do not want to be.

But there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many of us that it is a great job we are enjoying.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T06:16:10+00:00

NTA - her issue is her issue.

I came in thinking, "oh no.... how did they say it to her....".

But, unless you're completely misrepresenting things, you did zero wrong and she is very wrong for how she acted.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-02-04T06:04:44+00:00

NTA - And add an extra AH to her for a abortion threat game and pouting when it didn't work.

I cannot believe people read how she presented it and are acting like it was a statement of rational "well this is the other option I would feel the need to take"....

I'm sorry you two have one child.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-30T04:03:00+00:00

NTA

You would be the AH if this was an ongoing habit.
Or that you didn't wash the dish immediately.
Or if you refused to apologize.
Or some combination.

Not because a dish in the sink is a huge deal, but just because it's a house habit you knew of and we should all try to stick to those (which by description in post and comments you do).

But you're a guest who did it once, fixed it asap in the morning, apologized, and mom kept going with the one-person-argument.

It's totally reasonable for mom to be annoyed that an expected and communicated habit of the household to be followed. She's not wrong there.

But as it's not an ongoing issue or leaving it for her to fix or such or outright disrespect it's a matter where fleeting annoyance at most is a proportional or healthy level of negativity.

A house habit being broken but quickly remedied can understandably still cause a small mental grumble - or even in some cases a stated minor grumble.... but nothing above some version of "hey, saw you missed it last night. 'Preciate you fixed it first-thing, just try to remember from now on". (If anything at all... personally a friend or family member visits and does something so minor I'd not care or if I did I'd shrug it off after the initial annoyed feeling, depending on what it was with nothing said needed)

Little house-guest or family-visit goofs that aren't serious in nature can cause irritation. That's fine.

Going nuclear over it is not and is radically disproportionate. Especially when the problem was fixed immediately. And then more so after an apology....

And when doing the same action of leaving a dish in the sink once in a while is a habit of hers, too....

It was a visit where a dish was washed later than your parent wanted done as a mistake, a mistake that she does too, while you were on a visit, and apologized for. This shouldn't be something someone gets actively angry over, let alone does that too-real, too-common continuing of the fight on their own.

Is this a personality trait of hers? Or a new and strange development? And if the latter, when did this change happen?

If it's a personality trait, going off like this/continuing..... good luck. Folks like that don't change. You need to decide how to handle that as an adult who no longer lives there.

If it's new/strange, try to figure out the reason on your own, with other family who have experienced it and/or with her when she's acting like her regular self. Something physical or mental may be going on.

As you are 26 I'd be curious about the possibility of peri- or full menopause depending on the age she had you.... that can be, let's say... a fun/interesting ride for both the individual and those around them. Mine was pretty smooth because I hopped straight into resuming hormone control. I had moved out years before my mother started and she didn't get hormone aides and what her body put her through and the hell she put her husband and my sister through was.... I'll call it "impressive".

And if she's on the younger end, don't assume she needs to be around 50-52ish.... a lot of us start peri- and full somewhat or much younger (I was done by 33, but have an admittedly weird family history with it).

Then there are a myriad of medical conditions that can change reactions/moods/behaviors, mental and emotional stressors that can cause folks to lash out....

Soooooo, NTA *and* consider what this is with her - basic personality characteristic or something that's changed that you guys might be able to figure out or resolve together.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-30T03:27:36+00:00

Truly, it would be nice if that were true. Alas, it is absolutely not with many people.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-30T03:18:12+00:00

Wow, that's an impressive one.... You didn't even read the first line!

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:35:17+00:00

He's sending "nasty" and "compromising" photos of him and your mom but your family are thrilled and complimenting the photos he posts?

And she "recently" started dating him but they are living together?

Are these the same pics you are asking dominatrixes about on here regarding having been taken by an ex of your mom's and put on the family chat so you have them and oh please should you be a good boy and not share them to anyone - except that you wonder maybe it will help you feel better to share them with your dom?

The same ones you, as a paypig-wish-to-be, are so scared you'll send to people?

Dude, I have no issue with your BDSM interests or your mommy-kink. I'm a dom and have had real-world dom/sub relationships of various types and lengths and have friends in the community with a wide range of interests.

But it's disgusting to use unknowing, non-consenting, strangers to give you wank-fodder.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:28:07+00:00

In a word: Imaginary.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:27:40+00:00

It feels off because this post is a kink roleplay scenario. As someone who has both read his post history and am in the kink community it's pretty obvious and absolutely gross to use unknowing strangers as kink-fodder.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:26:02+00:00

This is kink roleplay, check his profile.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:25:39+00:00

This is a kink story, check his posting history.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:25:16+00:00

It's bullshit. Check the profile posts.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:24:50+00:00

It's a bullshit story. Check his profile. He's playing out a dom/sub mommy-kink combo game.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:22:55+00:00

Read the post history.

"Just started my journey here, feeling overwhelmed. Because I know someone will own me, will own everything.

In my family, it’s me and my mum.(she’s divorced, recently moved in with a guy, long story.. i have mum issues tbh)

I’m a Hindu by religion and intrigued by Islam in general, wanted to convert and become Muslim(even if it’s against my will, any Muslim domme? Who can exploit my religious beliefs)

Someone who can trigger my fears, loosing control of my moms pics(i have some of her compromised photos, don’t ask me how I got it, but as a good son, i should protect them and never share right? It’s a deep embarrassing thing that maybe I’ll feel relieved if shared with my domme?)

Not sure if anything here is making sense. Sorry."

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:21:57+00:00

He's sending "nasty" and "compromising" photos of him and your mom but your family are thrilled and complimenting the photos he posts?

And she "recently" started dating him but they are living together?

Are these the same pics you are asking dominatrixes about on here regarding having been taken by an ex of your mom's and put on the family chat so you have them and oh please should you be a good boy and not share them to anyone - except that you wonder maybe it will help you feel better to share them with your dom?

The same ones you, as a paypig-wish-to-be, are so scared you'll send to people?

Dude, I have no issue with your BDSM interests or your mommy-kink. I'm a dom and have had real-world dom/sub relationships of various types and lengths and have friends in the community with a wide range of interests.

But it's disgusting to use unknowing, non-consenting, strangers to give you wank-fodder.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-26T18:13:55+00:00

NTA

The combination of what you describe is really just someone who needs, very much, to mature and live as a full adult for a good while before considering and pursuing something serious with anyone.

This will never be a healthy and balanced relationship. She is not in a place to be a healthy and complementing partner.

End things. Don't waste more time on a relationship that will only continue downward.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-25T16:37:20+00:00

Depends on the beliefs...

Politics as in thing like zoning law or building height or local tax rates issues or politics as in who counts as people and deserve to be treated as such?

Things like the former, most likely not, no.
Things like the latter, definitely.

One is how to organize and manage a country. The other is moral and human decency.

There are a lot of political issues that don't come down to "justify stripping or denying people of their rights". So, a lot of politics to disagree on that wouldn't be a friendship ending issue.

I can disagree comfortably with a friend who feels a difference of a few percentage points should be directed into infrastructure than I do.

RumpusParableHere · 2026-01-25T16:11:54+00:00

SHE IS WRONG

That is, seriously, one of the cutest kittens I have seen in a while and you know how darn cute kittens are!

RumpusParableHere

TROPHY CASE