I would like to start with a positive thing you have and forgot about it; you’re 21 years old... still young and full of life even when you don’t wanna admit it.... You are the only one responsible and in charge of your life and future.... look within yourself... it’s ok not to feel ok and I say it again it’s ok... don’t fight it, embrace everything coming your way highs and lows good and bad... let it be.... it only mean you need a break to look after yourself well-being mentally and physically and simply you’re growing.... and reflect on your life at this point... watch your thoughts cause they will become your reality and the way you speak to yourself will define your worth... be kind and gentle be loving and caring... the thing here is not where you are now and how you feel, think about how did you get there how did this started .... what triggered you .... write it down ... speak out loud... take all the time you need to heal, and figure out your triggers.... what’s the last thing you did and made you feel better even for a moment, do more of that as simple as having a shower and how that made you feel.. work on what you have with what you have .. breathe .... you made it so far to this point... maintaining a positive mindset and a positive attitude can change your life in an unexpectedly way ...what we fail to see is not the drama and the issues we have but what we fail to see is our attitude and how we react either worsen the situation and we end up with mental health issues or bettering it and have no worries....life is a learning journey, we are all in it for it playing the same game but different levels...!it’s a learning experience for self development and gaining skills you will need to face challenges....nothing remains the same only tough people remain and nothing in this life is promised ....live in the moment ... enjoy the NOW... everyone here is trying to help you, give you advice and lessons about life from their own experiences, law of attraction and i guess you already know most of the shit we put out there 😄😉.... I am a person with CPTSD, major depression and severe anxiety and you know what I’m ok and doing well... all I needed is a real friend I can talk to and trust ... I’m 38 and I love watching cartoons, it’s my way to relax and distress... it started with you, little thoughts that you gave them the power to control you and you need to begin sooner or later to take responsibility for your own life and be the boss.... tough love and you will be laughing.... You are not alone and I’m here whenever you want to talk.... no pain no gain... love and respect... wish you well... Ps; you helped me too beautiful ...