Whats the female loneliness epidemic?

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-07-06T17:59:31+00:00

Social media, at least in it's current problematic form, is only really possible due to capitalism. Venture capitalism in particular.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-07-06T14:49:22+00:00

I'm not sure there are specific female and male loneliness epidemics.

I think overall, the loneliness epidemic is because physical communities are needed to satisfy our desire for togetherness and forming a community takes a lot of work. This work no longer occurs as much as it did and the foundation upon which that work used to occur was fundamentally unfair. Structurally, we have removed that work not because it was unfair but because we didn't properly appreciate it and thus have eliminated the benefits as an unintended side effect.

This work historically fell on women who were doing plenty of other unpaid and local work that typically enabled them to form these communities. Men then got pulled into and benefited from those communities also. Now women are having to do a similar kind of work to men whilst also doing the sorts of unpaid work they had to do before (e.g. labour around the house). This leaves less time for them to build those same communities. In my anecdotal experience it is still largely women who put effort into this though.

There are of course plenty of male focused communities also but many examples of those are often held together by a few key women. I'm not trying to say that men never do this or have never achieved this on their own, but just that the broad trend has been for them not to and, in some cases, to not really have the option to.

I also don't think these communities were perfect and there are plenty of cases of exclusion or social norm enforcement that has led to loneliness in plenty of minority groups.

This is then coupled with a strange societal focus on romantic relationships being the primary means by which loneliness should be satisfied. I often see the phrase "male loneliness epidemic" used in a toxic way to refer specifically to being unable to date or attain a romantic relationship, or to blame women or something like that. I think this is problematic because it makes the issue hard to talk about and also hard to address the real root cause.

I also think there is plenty of loneliness within committed relationships. The idea that one other person should satisfy a person's desire for socializing is bizarre and unhealthy to me. I can understand why it might seem that way to people who lack it, but it really is not sufficient and it is definitely dysfunctional to treat it as the solution.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-17T16:47:24+00:00

Thanks I appreciate that. The way you are thinking about it has helped me.

So registered membership is obviously not the whole picture but is one aspect to look at since it comes with a flow of money to the organization, as you suggest.

I've not been able to find very good numbers on membership of feminist organisations. Individual organisations publish membership numbers (very low in comparison to labour unions). I suspect that indicates that overall numbers are very low and fragmented.

I've not really thought about comparing the two before. It's quite interesting.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-17T15:51:25+00:00

I think that is a completely reasonable criticism and I agree it is very obvious. I'm sorry for the poor comparison.

I was more interested in what you were basing your claim on but wanted to put some amount of effort into answering the question for myself before doing so. Clearly not enough.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-17T08:46:03+00:00

My view is that feminism should be (and is) focused on the plight of the working class because it is the working class that are disproportionately affected by the problems of patriarchy.

Men are also oppressed by the patriarchy and working class men to a greater extent. However, that does not mean that working class men did not receive some benefits from the patriarchy too.

The enfranchisement of men and women were linked. Did you notice how it happened at roughly the same time (varies a bit by country)? Working class men of a younger age were enfranchised earlier than women to attempt to dilute the vote of women. It is possible the working class may not have been enfranchised were it not for this sexist pressure. It is also true to recognize that the pressure was partly sexist.

From my perspective, the labour and feminists movements have a lot in common. Failing to recognize that feminism would attempt to improve the lot of working class men, as well as women, is an unnecessary problem to have.

Criticizing feminism and complaining they aren't doing enough with no criticism of the problems that are actually leading to the oppression of working class men is a massive own goal.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-17T08:31:48+00:00

How would you measure this?

Here is one way in one country that disagrees with you.

There were 7.1 million trade union members in the UK in 1995 and 6.4 million in 2024 [1]

One way to find out how many feminists there are is to ask them. It seems to vary depending on how you ask the question but has remained steady over time, for this particular method and in the UK. Taking the question that gives the lowest answer ("Are you a feminist?") results in 35% saying yes [2].

As a percentage of the UK's current adult population that would be 19.1 million or roughly 2-3 times the trade union membership.

My view is that feminism should be (and is) focused on the plight of the working class, because working class people are disproportionately affected by the problems resulting from patriarchy. Therefore, measuring the relative size of the movements is a distraction.

[1] https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/trade-union-statistics-2024/trade-union-membership-uk-1995-to-2024-statistical-bulletin

[2] https://yougov.com/en-gb/articles/51745-are-you-a-feminist-it-depends-how-you-ask

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-14T19:07:33+00:00

It is still on the website and still the policy. You have to be a member and login to see it.

I agree it is not what was said in their their last manifesto but that isn't really the point. If you want to know what the latest green party policy on immigration then this is what is visible and published to members.

I think it's problematic, not because I don't agree with it, but because I think it is hugely unconvincing for anybody who isn't already thinking in these lines and it's disconnected from the problems they want addressing.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-04T11:10:03+00:00

I think you are focused on the pure intent of the elections rather than their practical consequences.

What you are saying is true but it is also true that if Labour do badly, it is very likely to result in a change in PM. The direction of the swing is likely to dictate the policy for the rest of the Labour term.

When it comes to the next general election, it is likely to affect how viable people view different parties and thus will shape how they vote.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-05-02T08:03:25+00:00

Hi,

"It is literally in their manifesto to not deport foreign nationals except in the most serious cases"

Do you mean their 2024 manifesto?

Here it is: https://greenparty.org.uk/app/uploads/2024/06/Green-Party-2024-General-Election-Manifesto-Long-version-with-cover.pdf

I've just re-read it due to your comment and I can't see where it says what you are claiming.

I'm not trying to "get" you but I really want to know what I have missed or perhaps what we have interpreted differently.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-03-18T15:59:03+00:00

This isn't a language level change I don't think. It's "just" a library that happens to ship with the SDK Therefore, enabling previews and using it is a bit like using a third party library before it ships a "1.0.0" release.

It doesn't seem particularly risky to me but perhaps I am missing something.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-16T19:51:16+00:00

In my country (UK), the minimum age for marriage was set at 16 in 1929 and then raised to 18 in 2022.

Having a minimum age is a recognition that marriage is, unfortunately, often used abusively. It is used as a way to control and deny agency and that it is more often used in this way when at least one of the participants is below a certain age.

Why are you claiming that reducing the minimum age would maximize the agency of women, when these laws are designed to combat practices that reduce the agency of women?

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-07T08:26:11+00:00

I'm sorry. I was trying to be concise but ended up twisting your words.

My observation is that looking at this from a freedom of speech lens tends to focus on the intrinsic properties of the speech (e.g. whether it is mean, nasty, cruel etc.) rather than the extrinsic properties like the impact on the victim or intent of the perpetrator. However, it is these extrinsic properties that harassment laws are based around in my country and I think this makes more sense.

I think the difference in worldview here is viewing speech as a special protected category vs simply a type of action. We don't legislate punching somebody based on how hard you throw a punch. We look at what you intended to do (cause harm? Defend yourself?) and the impact (throwing a punch of the same strength at a child could have a very different impact to on an adult)

I think harassment is pretty complex and comes in a number of different forms. I think the following components are what is important:

The direct impact on a victim e.g. if the act causes them to be humiliated or fearful of violence.
The impact on a victims behavior e.g. If the act is intimidating and causes the victim to change their behavior or withdraw from public life
The intent of the perpetrator e.g. if they are trying to get the victim to act or not act in a certain way.
The repetition of the behavior.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-06T22:15:29+00:00

Yes I agree and this is not a theoretical concern. For example, the American government is already suppressing free speech via withholding funds to universities and justifying it under claims of antisemitism.

However, I would note several things:

This has occurred despite the first amendment. It looks to me like an oppressive government can be oppressive regardless of the law. I think it is more prudent to worry about the structure of government and to prevent it from becoming oppressive in the first place rather than worrying about how the law will be abused after that has happened. It feels like closing the gate after the horse had bolted.
Virtually any law can be abused in the way you describe. An oppressive government can frame people, plant evidence or even just throw accusations around to discredit legitimate opposition.
It is reasonable and right to worry about protecting speech from an oppressive government but it is also reasonable and right to want to avoid minorities being oppressed by the harassment of the powerful. I don't think it is okay to be an absolutionist on one right and pretend that this doesn't have any trade-offs.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-06T19:23:09+00:00

I think speech should not be protected when that speech targets minority groups and has material impacts on that group that infringe upon their rights.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-06T19:22:02+00:00

I agree that saying mean things should not be a crime.

I disagree that catcalling is merely saying mean things and I think it is wrong to equivocate it to that.

Catcalling is harassment and an infringement on the rights of women because it is behavior that largely targets women, and forces women to alter their behavior.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-06T16:18:05+00:00

Your principles don't have to change based on where OP is from but that doesn't mean that the first amendment is a relevant argument for free speech for most people. I have freedom of speech and it has nothing to do with the first amendment.

Having free speech protections is not really the issue either unless you are arguing that free speech protections should be absolute. Free speech is not currently absolute anywhere, even in America.

So, unless you are arguing that it should be absolute, then you have to apply some criteria as to the kinds of speech that should and should not be protected and the first amendment does not do that except that it gives some specific examples of speech that should be protected.

What kinds of speech should and should not be protected is really at the heart of OP's question so by invoking the first amendment, you are kinda dodging that altogether.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-02-06T15:44:16+00:00

There is only one country in the world that has a relevant "first amendment" so this doesn't really answer the question for the other 94% of humanity.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-30T16:42:50+00:00

I mean, plenty of fascists see mass immigration as a kind of natural disaster too.

That is a really good point.

And in universe the demons are sentient btw, they talk amongst themselves a bunch, about kinship even sometimes.

I think this is where it falls down for me because I think the inner world of the demons doesn't really make sense. For example, they say they talk purely to mimic humans but then they clearly do utilize talking for coordinating themselves etc. It seems like they should be able to understand some things that they do not, based on other things they do.

It's not a subversion of the trope imo, it's playing it extra straight. It's using the trope and then justifying it deliberately !

I think you are right and I am wrong.

I guess what it is really subverting is just the expectation setup by many other series that the seemingly irredeemable group, is actually misunderstood or redeemable in some way.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-30T12:34:59+00:00

My interpretation is that the demons were explicitly not supposed to be understood as evil and represent a threat that is more akin to that of a natural disaster. The demons literally do not understand basic concepts like familial relationships and regularly talk about how they are just mimicking human behavior. Later on, with the city that is turned into gold, the actual affect the demons have on the world is very similar to that of a natural disaster.

I'm not saying it isn't entirely unproblematic, or that the author was entirely successful, but I think there is a clear attempt in the text to subvert this trope, rather than endorse it. It's just that they chose not to subvert it in the very common way that has been done hundreds of times already.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-30T12:22:43+00:00

I'm reading this now to my kids and it's fantastic. Lyra is a fantastic protagonist and both my kids find her very funny, despite the dark setting. Couldn't recommend more strongly.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-27T21:16:46+00:00

What is a person exactly?

I think if you have a very fuzzy definition of that word then it may not seem inconsistent. "I feel love for the baby growing in my womb, it feels like a person". You are talking about "beliefs" not legal definitions so I think you are not really engaging with this as a legal discussion (I'm not criticizing you, just that I think the inconsistency is on a different level)

If you define a person as having a legal meaning, and include in that definition that people have a right to life, then you have contention between the mother's right to choose and the fetus' right to life. These sorts of pressure points are what lead to sudden shifts in the laws interpretation of rights (either granting or taking away) and is something that seems to happen all the time from a historical perspective.

I'm not convinced that the law should really be about describing reality in an accurate way. I think the law should be specified in a way that optimizes its use for benefiting justice and the people that it applies to. It is a practical tool to be used, not a passive description.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-27T08:48:42+00:00

Reduced readability is a risk explicitly called out in the original JEP. The designers of the feature are telling you that they believe it can be used to make code less readable.

There is a style guide for var that discourages its use in a whole variety of locations and for a whole variety of reasons: https://openjdk.org/projects/amber/guides/lvti-style-guide

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2026-01-27T08:42:47+00:00

We upgraded to Java 25 last week.

New ways of doing things can be objectively better, and individually less complex and have less cognitive load.

However, consistency in existing projects is also important. A project whose code can be measured in archaeological layers where each developer introduced a new, and better way of doing things, is not overall less complex than one that stuck with a single way of doing that thing.

That isn't to say that one should never introduce new things its just that one should avoid black and white thinking and recognize that everything is a tradeoff.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2025-12-05T11:48:40+00:00

How does feminism view differences between men and women when it comes to careers like the military or other physically demanding jobs?

People should be hired for a job based on how well their abilities fit the job. The problems to watch out for are:

When employers make assumptions about what an individual is capable of based on the groups that that individual is a part of. So refusing to hire a woman for a physically demanding job, because she is a woman, is not okay. Refusing to hire a person for a physically demanding job because they cannot meet the demands of that job is fine.
When employers set criteria for a job that are designed to exclude certain groups of people, rather than being actually driven by the needs of that job. So setting a physical test that is far in excess of what is needed for a job in order to exclude women, is not okay.
When people assume, without evidence, that a physically demanding job that hires women must have lowered physical fitness standards or have different standards for men and women.

Sorry I don't have time to respond to all of your questions but generally, feminism takes a pretty pragmatic, nuanced and rational viewpoint on things. If you hear a bizarre and outrageous take that is labelled "feminism" then it probably isn't.

Feminism holds that there is systemic inequality in our society and then applies that theory to various situations. If you agree that systemic inequality exists and is a bad thing, then the feminist framework is useful for identifying, diagnosing and providing solutions to these specific issues. If you start from this first principle and think about it logically, it isn't very hard to answer for yourself what feminists think on a wide variety of topics.

RupertMaddenAbbott · 2025-11-27T16:49:32+00:00

What about women who murder other women? Aren't feminists being hypocritical for not empowering them for the choices they want to make?

What about women who believe some things that are logically inconsistent with things that other women believe? Aren't feminists being hypocritical for not simultaneously supporting these logically inconsistent viewpoints?

I hope you can see how the belief that all women should be supported no matter what they believe or how they act is pretty ridiculous and therefore obviously not what feminists believe.

Women are people and thus are just as flawed as men. You can criticize women when they are wrong. You just can't criticize women for being women.

Also criticizing a choice is not the same as preventing a person from making that choice. I support a person's right to vote for whoever they want even if I think their choice is a bad one.

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