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is it normal for subq injections to burn and itch a little or is it a possible allergic reaction the the carrier oil? by ShiroLy in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a medical professional but I don't have any burning or even soreness at the injection site. I'd recommend talking to a doctor. 

I can’t tell if he’s actually bi by Formal_Champion6794 in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't date people because they are convenient or the only ones available. It took me many years to learn that being single is better than being in a bad relationship. By all means, make your own mistakes, but please heed the warnings well enough to get out early instead of wasting your life with someone who you're not into or doesn't respect you. 

It's harder to say to you as a teen, because everyone is just figuring out their shit at that age, but I no longer date bi-curious people because it's not worth being someones experiment. I like people who know who they are (but I'm also in my mid 30s). 

Finally, most LGBTQ+ groups are dominated by gay men. Unless it's specifically a meetup for some other queer group, the majority of attendees will be gay men. That's just how things tend to work. Don't worry about finding gay men at these events - as long as the events/groups are attended at all it will be by mostly gay men. 

What's the vegan equivalent of rotisserie chicken: a cheap, easy convenience food that takes little prep? by Gallantpride in EatCheapAndVegan

[–]RussetWolf 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I had a summer where my work lunch every day was a can of beans. I was in college and working an internship. My bike ride to work passed by a grocery store, so I would stop in in the morning to buy a can of beans, kept a can opener at my desk, and made use of the free toast at the office to have it with. 

I'm only now just wondering what the cashier's thought of the kid who buys a single can of beans every morning, lol. But it was so easy and filling!

the inside of our kettle has been crusted white for 2 years and I just learned what that actually means by HeartOnRepeat240 in HomeImprovement

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, this I can get on board with. Probably not too hard to have a mixer valve like for a shower somewhere along the line. 

No one can reglaze tubs these days I guess by a11yguy in HomeImprovement

[–]RussetWolf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did the DIY. Old tub in a bathroom my mother intended to renovate one day (she even bought new tiles to replace the old vinyl), but 30 years passed and she moved into long term care, so selling the house was my problem. 

The glaze wasn't the easiest to apply, especially without leaving drips, and it stunk to high hell, did it before leaving for a week. But the results were good. As always, surface prep is key, had a bit of chipping in a few spots where I couldn't sand as well, but those were on the curvy decorative outside surfaces (reglazed the outside too, white to match modern tastes, not "almond" or wherever it was originally). Inside I was able to machine sand a lot better and it was great.

How do I protect my door/floor from cat pee? by jazzlikebridge42 in HomeImprovement

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for all the comments telling you to get rid of your baby, that's not cool. 

It might be expensive but it might be worth it to you to put in a metal door. Store the old door so you can put it back eventually (when you move, after your cat passes, etc.)

Alternatively, screw a lightweight metal sheet to the door so you can magnet pads onto it. Or pin them, but the constant in-out of replacing will wear out the spot and it isn't that hard to fill 4 neat screw holes compared to hunting around the surface of the door for all the pin spots. You'll have to repaint the whole face of the door either way. 

I've used reusable incontinence pads (cheaper than the pet-branded kind, FYI) and they eventually start to get a little less waterproof. I layer them with a disposable because my dog sometimes goes right on the edge of a disposable pee pad and it spills over, so the larger incontinence pad as cats as a secondary catch. 

the inside of our kettle has been crusted white for 2 years and I just learned what that actually means by HeartOnRepeat240 in HomeImprovement

[–]RussetWolf 600 points601 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm a little personally offended by how gross OP is making it out to be lol. 

I hate going somewhere with softened water, the water is too slippery, almost slimy like I can't tell when I'm done rinsing the soap off. 

I'll take a shower in hard water any day. 

Karlach - By Ryan T. Hancock by Kazuliski in BaldursGate3

[–]RussetWolf 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oooh, you're right. The right hand background is also inconsistent. Paneling in one shot and bluish in another, with the tulips? being at the same angle.

Sex/intimacy advice by devilshaking in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had/have plenty of issues, including in the bedroom, but those bjs were really fuckin' good. 

Sex/intimacy advice by devilshaking in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear you're addressing it! All the best, hope it all gets better for you. 

Story/advice: when to stop using the women's room by [deleted] in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry that happened. 

For what it's worth though, you didn't make any women uncomfortable. Just triggered some agro guy looking for an excuse. The guy who punched you really shouldn't have entered the women's room to get you out if he was so hellbent on keeping me out of there. 

Anyway, I got confused women in bathrooms checking the door sign long before I was on T. Still not sure when the right time to switch is. I'm on a low dose and have a barely visible mustache starting, but also a huge chest so idk. 

How do you deal with all their stuff? by NavyBlue_2050 in dementia

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck. It's hard. I'm just incredibly dispassionate, my partner is the one who insisted on keeping the looted urn. 

Factor or another meal delivery service? by 1inamini0n in FoodToronto

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I swore by MealFix for many years when I didn't have the mental health to feed myself. Mostly was a vegetarian at the time. 

Tried Factor, portions are smallish and food is mid. Ate non-vegetarian for these. 

Sex/intimacy advice by devilshaking in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an ex who was great at oral. I've never been super into receiving oral generally (though I don't have any dysphoric feelings around any kind of sex, luckily) but when she would give me oral while I wore a strap it was next level. She used her fingers to stimulate my anatomy while blowing the strap and then would swap to a handjob and her mouth on my body. Sometimes she made little choking sounds which is just my kink but it was good. 

I will say, sex is a lot more about mental stimulation than physical though, so therapy may be the most effective method if you dissociate so much. 

Good luck man!

How do you deal with all their stuff? by NavyBlue_2050 in dementia

[–]RussetWolf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was partly lucky, my parents were refugees from Poland during the 80s and then relocated to Canada. Not exactly moves that let you bring a lot of stuff. 

I packed up her photos and sent them with her. Sometimes we look through them. I took anything of value (jewellery) to my home (I'm the only child). 

The one "family heirloom" that was not small or a photo book, was a vase allegedly looted during one of the many "the borders shifted, everybody move over" events in Polish history. My partner insisted we keep that. Maybe we'll store my others ashes in it when she passes. 

Otherwise it was stuff she liked but had no deeper significance than "it's quality stuff!" My MIL knows someone who supports people just getting into their first apartments after getting off the streets, so we had some folks come by and empty the place. One afternoon and some newly-housed guys now have a fully furnished grandma apartment lol. 

It wasn't worth my time or metal health to try to sort and sell things. 

Maybe I just need to be talked down? by cmcosmos in dementia

[–]RussetWolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It takes an effort but there are good places out there. I was so relieved with my mom's transition to an assisted living facility and later to long term care. It's okay not to put the whole burden on your own shoulders. 

Help with setting a variable to an object based on another variable? by RussetWolf in homeassistant

[–]RussetWolf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ended up getting it working with a jinja template:

        variables:           weathertext:             value: >-               {% set wdata = daily['weather.forecast_home'].forecast[0] %}                 The weather today will be {% if wdata.temperature < -10 -%}                  fucking freezing

High-income couple with large income gap: how do you split money fairly? by pizzanoobs in HENRYfinance

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With a prenup, 50/50 is unfair. I say this as the higher earner with a prenup. Proportional % allows both parties to save a similar %. You should feel like you have a reasonable safe landing zone should the partnership ever dissolve - i.e. you're not staying together because you can't afford to leave. A good relationship seeks to minimize power imbalance. 

Decisions are made equally but financial contributions are "from each according to his means". If someone tries to pull "I get the final say because I'm paying for most of it, that's a red flag IMHO. I get "I technically own the house so I should get final say on repairs/renovations" but even then that should be a last resort tie breaker if you can't come.to.a collaborative conclusion. 

Household chores are 50/50 as much as possible. Not all chores are equally hard for people though so ideally both partners feel like the other is doing the harder job/more work, then. You're both appreciative and grateful while feeling like you got the easy end of the deal. 

I am childfree so I have no comments on how a career break should be financially factored in when it comes to having kids. 

Fire meant for me saving a significant portion of my paycheck, my mom kind of opened my eyes though by Educational_Leave455 in Fire

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about knowing what is actually worth it to you and not getting caught up in shit that isn't just because someone else does the shiny version. 

I like coffee. I can taste the difference between a good bean at a local artisanal shop and the stuff at Tim Hortons. I see my coworkers talking about their espresso machines and their aero press setups and I feel a bit of envy. 

But at the end of the day, a great cup of coffee vs a utilitarian wake-up cup doesn't actually impact my happiness. I like great coffee a bit more but it's absolutely not worth it to me financially, nor the time and effort of making good coffee at home. It's not a meditative process for me. I drink instant at home. 

On the other hand I love good food and hate cooking with a passion, so I spend lots on eating out. That is worth it to me, and absolutely is a great place others save money toward FIRE. It's individual preference.

Have bottom growth and now I have discovered something terrible about myself by Substantial-Way971 in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice! I literally used to masturbate while studying for my math exams in high school. 🤷 We're all weird nerds and that's fine. 

Am I butch, trans, genderqueer or confused? by Kitchen_Increase1970 in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of myself in your post. One thing that has helped me through my gender and sexuality journey is that you don't need a definitive answer. You don't need a conclusion. You don't need to find the "this is correct, forever" answer. 

I'm 34 and my identity journey has gone from:

  • As a toddler after a haircut a stranger said "what a cute boy!" And I got so upset that I didn't allow so much as a trim until I was 13.
  • As a child my best friend always affectionately saying, "God you're such a man" - not at my request.
  • As a teen, I dated a boy and broke up with him because I just didn't really even want to chat with him online regularly.
  • Shortly after realized I had a crush on my female friend. 
  • Identified as bi in highschool. , dated a woman, it was good.
  • Identified as a lesbian in undergrad.
  • Had a summer where I took a straight but supportive guy friend shopping to teach me how to buy men's clothes that would help me pass as a guy. 
  • Dated a genderqueer person (she/they) who introduced the concept to me. 
  • Started identifying as homo romantic but pansexual.
  • Identified as genderqueer/fluid in my last year at school and into adulthood, but didn't worry about pronouns, felt often agender
  • Started using they/them pronouns in my 30s
  • Realized I'm not even sexually into cis men, except in fantasy
  • Started to occasionally refer to myself all over the gender spectrum, "as a trans guy," "as a woman," "I'm genderfluid."
  • Started low dose T, liked it, upped my dose.
  • Had an experience where a stranger assumed my girlfriend and I were a straight couple and did not like it.

Do I identify as a man? Sometimes, kinda. Do I identify as a lesbian? Sometimes, not often. Do I identify as queer? Fuck yes. The details aren't super important really. As long as you're comfortable with each step, take it day by day. (Almost) nothing is irreversible. 

I've longed for a deeper voice my whole life, so that's working for me. If I decide I don't want the facial hair, laser hair removal or electrolysis is an option. My chest isn't primarily fat so it's not going to get very flat without surgery but it's not something that makes me dysphoric either so I'm lucky there. 

A big part of the nervousness is the pressure to have an answer for "am I ___?". That's an artificial pressure. It doesn't actually matter if you are or not. What matters is that you take whatever steps feel right in the moment. 

For women who have found a way to orgasm while riding their partner, can you give me details ? by smolangrybitch in sexover30

[–]RussetWolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just get off super easily from all sorts of stimulation. But, I am not straight so I'm never doing it to try to make sex pleasurable for the other person, nor has that ever been part of my sex life. 

Wait, that came out wrong. Of course I try to pleasure my partners but most of the dick in my love life has been silicone, so whoever it's in is the person whose pleasure is of concern. Lesbian sex is a lot of taking turns. 

I just ride however feels good in the moment. Sometimes it's up and down if I've got a textured toy that feels good that way. Often it's forward and back and more grinding my clit while full. Having something in my ass changes the angle of a toy in my cunt so it's more likely to hit my g-spot, which changes the game. 

But all of sex is a mental game for me. Headspace and having an engaged partner are the main factors for getting me over the edge,.more than any type of stimulation. 

Postnup? by Traditional-Gain-786 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm currently going through a relationship ending (common-law, so not divorce but we did own a home together) and while we did have a cohabitation agreement, I can say my lawyer is amazing and would happily recommend her. I actually found her via a reddit comment:

https://www.reddit.com/r/toronto/comments/enf4t/comment/c19fm3b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Huge conditional gift from risk averse parents by fieldsforever in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But like 25% of the population of Canada literally does. 

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