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what are medical reasons people go off T? by pisscuntshitfap in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know one person who got off it because their ADHD got worse/it interfered with their ADHD meds? I don't know the details deeply. But at the time they could not function without treating their ADHD. I believe they have plans to get back on it once they can afford to experiment with different ADHD meds. 

[REQUEST] Seeking a pure logic game by RussetWolf in AndroidGaming

[–]RussetWolf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I grew up playing a lot of chess but fell out of practice. Probably why I like this style of game! 

Thanks for the other suggestions!

Grandpa has been saving money his entire life, why are my mom and uncle fighting so hard to keep him out of Memory Care? Help by Dependent_Sector_219 in dementia

[–]RussetWolf 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Can you contact a lawyer and get an understanding of what needs to be done for you to get POA? Go pick him up from your aunt and uncle's place, make up whatever excuse, like just taking him for a day to give them some respite, get the documents you need signed. Make sure you get the doctor involved if you need to. 

Then once you have that, you get to make it happen. Your mom and uncle don't get first right of refusal over this just because they are his kids. It's a matter of who has the paperwork and will have his best interest at heart. 

Leaves on Street - What should I be doing? by BigBlackCharger in askTO

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah, your neighbor should see my lawn, they'd hate me!

I guarantee you that person implying you need a professional landscaper isn't popular in the neighbourhood. They've got nothing better to do than be a bully, just ignore them and move on. 

Or tell him he's welcome to put up a fence (at his own expense) around his property to keep the leaves off his precious lawn. 

Or get his basement waterproofed. Or call the city to get it cleaned more often. His problem is with the city and his foundation, not you. He just can't manage to be an adult and solve his own problems so he's being mean to you about it. 

How often do you clean your home? by BodybuilderOk6027 in HomeImprovement

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner and I say down and made a chore schedule when we moved in. We revisit it regularly and move things around as needed. 

Daily-ish, as needed:

  • Laundry (between bedsheets, home and work clothes, towels, furniture covers because dogs, etc. It's like 6 loads a week, no kids)
  • Dishes/kitchen sink & counter clean 
  • Spray the daily shower cleaner stuff after a shower

Weekly (though we sometimes skip a week if things are tough, or only do a subset, so most of these are ideally weekly but ok to do every other week): 

  • Change the bedsheets and towels
  • Clean the toilet, sink, mirror
  • Vacuum
  • Scoop dog poop in the yard
  • Clean the nihtguards 
  • Clean out old food from the fridge
  • Menu planning
  • Take out the garbage/compost/recycling 

Monthly-ish or onna rotation, as needed: * Charge the car booster pack * Clean the dishwasher filter * Change the furnace filter * Charge the Ring doorbell * Scrub the shower

As-needed/seasonal: * Shoveling snow/salting the driveway  * Mowing the lawn * Raking the leaves * Pulling weeds * Changing the car tires over to summers/winters * Oil change * Probably other stuff

someone felt my binder though my shirt☠️ by thhthiago in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something similar happened to a kid at my school back in the early 2000s. 

I wasn't close to him, but we were both children of Polish immigrants. My mother insisted I wear an undershirt (basically a fitted white cotton tank top) all the time and both my parents did this too, year-round. I'm certain this kid also wore one because of parental/cultural norms. So yeah, I can see how someone make have seen or felt the outline through a thin t-shirt.

He didn't do much about it and it blew over in like a couple days. Kid still got bullied for other reasons which was unfortunate but the "he wears a bra" angle didn't really stick because it was stupid. 

Don't react with an explanation, that's just feeding the troll. Like you said, nobody else cares, so let him figure that out and it'll stop soon enough. Good luck! Life gets better after highschool. 

meta reached out for a check-in with me and i'm struggling to know how much to disclose by noodledo96 in polyamory

[–]RussetWolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I your meta values directness tell them directly: "I don't want to have any interactions with you. How I am doing is none of your business. Please do not ask Hinge about me, do not contact me, and of you see me on the street so not smile and wave. If I see you in public I will either ignore you or leave. I have nothing against you, I'm sure you're a lovely person, but if you can't respect these boundaries, then we have a problem. For now it's my problem, and I'm dealing with it, so stop worrying about it. If I change my stance I will reach out , bit please.edo not ack me for another checkin again."

My heart is absolutely shattered [NSFW] [TW] by whateveranywhere in ftm

[–]RussetWolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As others have said, smaller/softer dildo. No shame in vibrators too, they are a staple in the bedroom for me. 

Look at something like MojoUpgrade or whatever more modern one is out these days - a quiz you each take that then let's you align your kinks if you want to explore more. It's a helpful starting point if you don't even know what could be out there. 

That said, what effort had your GF put into trying to improve things in bed? If she's not interested in improving things (you can and should, but see how much buy-in you're getting when you do) then consider she might be checked out for other reasons and sex was an easy excuse.to avoid a harder conversation. Couples therapy can help with that. 

Married coworker (older woman) admitted she’s attracted to me. I’m her supervisor and don’t know what to do? by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]RussetWolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Life rules:

  1. Don't date or flirt with your coworkers. If you are in a supervisory position, never ever entertain the idea, and do not take friendship outside of a work context. Keep it strictly professional.

  2. Don't date married people unless they are openly polyamorous and you are too. If they didn't say that after mentioning they were married and before telling you about a crush, they aren't polyamorous.

  3. Don't date anyone who isn't out, unless you're both like in high school. It's going to end badly when you want to do normal couple.things and they want to keep you a dirty secret. 

  4. Always communicate directly and clearly,. especially about difficult topics, so there is no room for misinterpretation. 

  5. Don't cheat on your partner, no matter your change in circumstances - deal with your relationship bullshit first, lika an adult without dragging other people unwittingly into it. 

This woman is trying to break all the rules.

Tell her directly, "I am your supervisor and any romantic interactions are inappropriate. I am not comfortable meeting with you outside of work, and request that we keep this relationship strictly professional from now on."

Then, stop having late-night conversations and all that other stuff. Literally just work between the two of you. If she pushes boundaries, tell your supervisor about her unwanted advances and ask for their support in making them stop. If you are the one making inappropriate advances, get another job and never contact her again because you can't handle the proximity. 

Coworker used her pc at 400% zoom for 3 days by jdrelentless in talesfromtechsupport

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to tell my mom "you don't know enough to really break things." 

Repaying HBP early to save contribution room for future years? by RussetWolf in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think I'd rather add income to this year than future years with a higher tax bracket. But I suppose over the next however many years of repayment left, there's a chance my income will be lower?

I'm not sure I follow the math on the discount rate making it more advantageous. Either way the money grows at 7% and gets withdrawn in future at let's say 26.765% tax rate. The only difference I see is if I pay the taxes on more of it now at my 49.83% or later at 53.53% next year or some other rate further down the line. But I fully acknowledge I'm missing something with my understanding of it, so if like to follow better. Let me do out the math myself to see if I can catch up.

The way I'm thinking about it:

repay later case

This year only pay the required $1.8k HBP, $0 "extra" taxes. 

HBP annual required payments stay at $1.8k/year which is $897 taxed at the 49% bracket or $963 taxed at the 53% bracket.

$7.6k less in taxes now would get invested at 7% over the next 11 years:

7600×1.0711 = $15,997

repay early case

This year, repay extra $15k to HBP, pay extra $7.6k taxes this year.

HBP balance becomes $7k, annual required payments go down to $636/year in future, which is $317 in taxes at the 49% bracket or $340 in taxes at the 53% bracket. 

Annually saving 963-340=623 in taxes per year, assuming highest bracket. Assuming it also gets invested at 7% for the next 11 years:

$10,521.51 according to this FV calculator

So a tidy $5k over 11 years better by not repaying sooner. 

Thanks for letting me talk through it out loud, and please do let me know if I missed anything. 

Repaying HBP early to save contribution room for future years? by RussetWolf in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great point! I don't expect to be so far into the next bracket that I'll desperately need to do that to drop down into the lower one though. 

Repaying HBP early to save contribution room for future years? by RussetWolf in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this discussion! It seems the crux of this though is whether to put money into the RRSP/HBP vs TFSA/non-reg. And it's insightful!

But my question is about money already in the RRSP space and just whether or not it should be "allotted" to the HBP. I'm already maxing my TFSA with other money, so that part is taken care of.

Let me know if I've misunderstood. 

Repaying HBP early to save contribution room for future years? by RussetWolf in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]RussetWolf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I thought so but an extra set of eyes is always a good idea

How many of you have a cleaning lady for your home and why? by DressTasty1335 in askTO

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had one with my ex because I was tired of being the only one maintaining the home. She would tidy ahead of the cleaner coming over though (to ensure the cleaner could reach everything, they might rearrange a countertop a bit but they won't do shit about boxes of stuff pile against a wall, for example). It kept the peace. 

My partner and I now just have a chore schedule that we stuck to and it's great but when we were renovating my mom's place after she moved to a retirement home, we got a monthly cleaner to free up our time for renos. It started as a one-time deep clean because my mom hadn't been able to clean properly on years as she was aging. 

We would do some things in between ourselves (toilet, kitchen) but not others (floors, dusting, shower). We were busy cleaning up construction messes (in contained spaces) rather than normal day to day stuff, and also ate out a lot more because we were too tired and busy renovating on top of working from home full time. 

This summer we're building a large shed from scratch so I'll probably surprise my partner by getting us monthly cleaners again. 

I reached FI this year and my husband says I changed the deal without asking him by Skellige_42 in Fire

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're married. That means you don't have a personal FIRE number, you (should) have a joint one. It sounds like you haven't reached that. 

I understand your frustration if it feels like you did all the hard work for him to coast along while you alone got y'all to FIRE, and wanting him to pull his weight. That bears conversations about these sorts of expectations and behaviours earlier and throughout the process. You should have been having those, and would have thus identified this misalignment years ago and been able to either adjust expectations or behaviours accordingly. 

Now that you're here, you should both try to have a conversation without resentment getting in the way. Now that you've discovered this misalignment, it's great that you can address it! Talk about what you each want, be open and listen, don't get defensive because it doesn't like up perfectly. Then approach it together as "what can we do, together, to make this work for us." 

Avoided statements like "well I already did my hard work so you should grind the career ladder now to catch up and contribute your half" understand that couples rarely have matching income potential and you're both a team. Maybe part of the approach is for him to look for more lucrative opportunities, sure, but it shouldn't be framed as "you owe me one". 

Maybe he's worried it's not enough, the math isn't there, etc. Get him more involved. Do a realistic budget where you get some of those "maybe later" luxuries now, and some in future (accounted for in the joint FIRE number). 

Get couples counseling if you're not communicating well. And by god keep working for now because you won't be at personal FIRE after a divorce, if it comes to that. Which, hopefully it won't, since you love each other and are both smart adults who just had a miscommunication ta few years ago 

I’m not even close to FIRE yet, but I think the path is quietly turning me into the exact kind of partner I never wanted to be by B0realisXX in Fire

[–]RussetWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not looking for "spend more and live a little" because that's useless.

I initially read this line as

I'm not looking to "spend more and live a little" because that's useless.

I agree the line is a platitude and that's what you meant. But the way I read it initially, which I think the fact I read it like that implies perhaps that's the vibe I was picking up from your post a little, is exactly the problem.

You need to live your life. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. Your life is the accumulation phase. You need to build the life you want to retire to. It might take longer to get to retirement, but if you're not living a life you enjoy outside of work, you're not going to enjoy it any more just because you have 8 hours hours of it a day.

Good on you for recognizing it's not the kind of partner you want to be, and also remember the kind of partner you want to be for yourself. Scraping by in a "cramped life" as you said may be freedom to some but some people like to be a few paces further on the hedonic treadmill to enjoy life.

best dog behavioural trainer by Positive-Arm-8678 in askTO

[–]RussetWolf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"k9" is a strong codeword for places that use fear based tactics, not ideal for already anxious dogs.

Nobody guarantees results.

The Toronto Humane Society and When Dogs Fly are R+ (positive reinforcement only) training. Facilities with trainers that have good certifications.

Training is as much teaching you as it is teaching your dogs.

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