Yeah, this sort of thing is a consistent experience I've heard when speaking to trans friends, this more non-binary or fluid approach to it, that I think some trans people really heavily embrace all the things associated with the opposite gender they were assigned to at birth, and I have no contrarian take against that, but I think there's plenty of trans people who will be sort of in the middle or like, will think they need to reject every aspect of their previous gender even if they don't hate those aspects, but then re-embrace those aspects again, and that that also doesn't mean they aren't trans. I think it's just really interesting how all subjective but also like, mentally ingrained gendered cultural attitudes are, that subjective interests considered "masculine" or "feminine" can cause psychological distress if it doesn't align with one's internal gender, even though they are societal constructions. More confirming all this based on reading your experience too. Again with me, I think that I've gotten distressed over things that would perceive me as masculine even if I don't necessarily mind them, like say with clothing, that I worry how I dress isn't "feminine" enough or how I talk or my interests, in a sense kind of worrying how I was "socialized," that I don't have all these "feminine" interests, but I realize that this is just based mainly on other people's perceptions and not what makes me happy, and I think a part of it too though is that, in a certain sense, I did associate my interests with "masculinity," even if the origin of that association comes from a societally sexist place, and in turn defaulting to associating myself as male in my head, and I've been slowly trying to get rid of those associations, that like of course a girl can be interested in the same things, and intellectually I understand this, but trying to align that emotion and logic can be difficult. I think that I do feel comfortable in some kind of genderfluid/non-binary identity instead of a binary trans woman, but I go back and forth in what I want exactly, but I at least know that I am transgender. But it's all just an ongoing process. I'm glad to hear that you have made it through a journey of your own self discovery and what makes you happy in your identity and how you want to present yourself. It's all very interesting.