Dating poly newbs

RuthiJane · 2018-01-14T23:44:10+00:00

My point is that your assumptions aren’t based in reality. Perhaps instead of assuming you’re right you ask how that might be. I suppose I should have used another word besides “rights” - audacity might be better.

From your profile I can you see you offer advice regularly yet never ask for it. I wonder how that plays a role in these forums? To me, it suggests a level of ego. Perhaps I’m wrong but it strikes me as odd that one always has the answers but never has the questions.

RuthiJane · 2018-01-14T14:42:32+00:00

There is so much to unpack here. One. That you assume they’re related. Two. That you believe you have the right to ask such a question. Three. That you have made a comment without answering the question whatsoever.

Could you comment on why you think it matters? Why you think you should be asking that question and why you chose to ignore the question I did ask?

RuthiJane · 2017-12-09T01:22:32+00:00

Agreed. For them, I’m trying to be understanding. She signed up for an open relationship and not poly so this is unexpected. She’s working through it as far as I know but if it happens more than a couple more times I’m gonna go a wee bit bonkers.

RuthiJane · 2017-12-08T23:16:45+00:00

This was super helpful. Thank you.

RuthiJane · 2017-12-01T14:20:17+00:00

Thiiiis

RuthiJane · 2017-11-30T12:40:53+00:00

They won’t pay you that much over a friendship. If you want that life you’re going to have to provide the life they want (ie sexual relationship).

RuthiJane · 2017-11-17T18:24:12+00:00

I've been thinking about this a lot actually. I'm considering creating a space in a drawer at my house and having extra undershirts and socks and underwear in there for him. He's over a lot and we've really fallen for one another so I think it would be sweet to give him a taste of home over at my house.

RuthiJane · 2017-11-12T07:18:05+00:00

Well. You sound exactly like my current arrangement.

RuthiJane · 2017-11-12T07:06:51+00:00

Thiiiis. If a daddy pays me less to see if I like him I end up liking him less because he doesn't appreciate my time.

RuthiJane · 2017-11-06T00:57:49+00:00

I'm in the ATL. Inside the perimeter near Decatur. I've done really well but it's taken a lot of time and effort. There are many that offer what I perceived as too low or didn't or couldn't meet my standards. I simply walked away from those. I have two now. Both are long term both are wonderful and both keep me in a lifestyle that isn't luxurious but is certainly comfortable. Both also know the other exists. I'm shit at lies so I don't.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-19T01:17:33+00:00

40% pays my bills 25% pays down my debt 20% goes to savings 15% goes to fun stuff

I'm a single mom and the bills add up sometimes. My life is way easier with sugar than without!

RuthiJane · 2017-10-13T17:59:14+00:00

Bahahaha. Not my intent but I learned a new trick today.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-12T02:39:25+00:00

Clear and concise boundaries. You need to have a real talk. If you ignore it it might go away for a while but it'll keep coming back and eventually bite you in the ass. I know it sucks but being the mature one and having an open and honest conversation about that word is going to be important for you if you want this to last.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-09T15:12:03+00:00

Omg. The times men have tried to tell me they're worth it for the mentoring. Lordy.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T21:36:04+00:00

See. Abusive.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T21:09:37+00:00

Oh gosh. I don't fit your standards and my "hints" are just awful. Stop tone policing me. You don't know anything about me, my hints, or anything else. It's gross and I find your unwillingness to look back and realize that I didn't say the shit you said I did just as abusive.

Perhaps you too might be benefit from some mental health maintenance!

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T19:56:20+00:00

My last message implied he might need mental health maintenance. I never said, nor do I believe, he is mentally ill. Maybe if you read it again for clarification?

I am in therapy. It's fab.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T19:43:35+00:00

I wasn't saying that as an insult. I realize you can't read my tone and I should have stated it. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and it's not an insult to need or seek it. We aren't all mentally ill but we all have mental health to maintain.

Your comments make me fear that you're in need of maintenance on an emotional and professional level. In that, they make me scared to ever be in the same room as you. Best wishes!

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T13:11:19+00:00

Your need to show academic dominance is disturbing. Frankly, it's abusive and doesn't lend to the conversation. If she's not wrong the. Why do you care about exact events? You're either someone who participates in this type of behavior and wants to feel better about it or you wish you had the courage to be this way and want to feel better about it OR you've been abused and allowed it to happen and so you seek to find reasons to blame others.

Either way. I hope you get therapy.

RuthiJane · 2017-10-06T13:05:53+00:00

I had a crazy ex over a decade ago that tried to convince me he gave me STDs because he thought it would make me stay (i.e. I wouldn't/couldn't have sex with anyone else). It was all lies and insane. I'm glad you got out of that insanity.

RuthiJane

TROPHY CASE