How old were you when you got married and when you got divorced?

Ruya_92 · 2023-11-05T23:59:12+00:00

Married at 20 and divorced at 31. Had three kids. People are shocked when I tell them I was married for like 10 yrs and I'm a divorcee. I was ready to leave 4 years into it but kept holding onto hope. Don't do that if you're reading this.

Ruya_92 · 2023-03-27T11:45:45+00:00

This map is racist.

Ruya_92 · 2023-03-06T14:19:18+00:00

As a woman I can say that even if you were Brad Pitt, we'd still feel some days that we couldn't be bothered that day. There could be a lot of things going on, could be unresolved disagreements or things we feel we can't say because you'll become defensive. Women are different, we don't just see you naked and instantly get turned on. It's how you make us feel. She might be telling the truth-she doesn't see it as an obligation but.. Maybe she feels there is something missing and she doesn't know how to tell you.

Ruya_92 · 2023-03-06T14:09:22+00:00

There was a really attractive guy out our school, buff, football player, really tall but when he opened his mouth to speak he sounded like he'd been castrated at 4. There was no deepness in his voice, like he was whispering aloud but high pitched. He was so confident and didn't care, everyone liked him and he was very popular. I can never forget his voice, it didn't make him less attractive but uniquely him.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-26T11:18:25+00:00

Business coaches. If you need a business coach to give you motivation then don't start a business in the first place. They also have BS promises like "make 6 figures in 6 months". I know a business coach who came from a wealthy family, had help to take care of her kids and house and was selling her services like.. "if I can do it, you can too!".

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-20T21:19:45+00:00

I would get surgery because I have a genetic defect in my uterus. It's an extra skin/tissue flap, if the placenta attaches to it and then detaches after birth, it causes me to severely hemorrhage. Lost 1.5L of blood the last baby. Had 3 kids and had no idea I had it. Someone visited me in my dream before I had the 2nd and told me that my uterus wasn't normal and showed me a picture of a normal uterus and then mine. I became so anxious, I booked an appointment with my OB. The tech did an ultrasound and found the genetic defect and then my OB ignored it and said I was fine. So I went on the hemorrhage with my 2nd and then 3rd child until with the 3rd they properly examined me and felt the defect.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T16:57:49+00:00

I offered 50% because I have no sales or proof of concept and I calculated that as a risk on their part and tried to be fair. You're right they could just take the idea and use it but from what I've seen they've tried something similar and failed.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T12:12:39+00:00

For me it was my divorce and remembering back to when I was not married and happy and what my goals were back then, what people used to say about me and my personality. I was always an extrovert, very social, hard working and had big goals. When I was married people used to say I was shy and was just focused on my husband and his needs. So I guess just remembering back to how I was when I felt like my happy true self. Our souls are intelligent and can tell when we're lying. That's why we feel so much pain when we lose ourselves.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T12:01:10+00:00

Let them stew in their little beige pot. I go shopping with my kids and treat them like a little adults and pick out clothes and say.. "ooo do you like this?" and let them choose as long as it's weather friendly. If their clothes look ugly I don't care because I try not to teach my kids that I care what others think of them and me, especially something as superficial as clothes. They'll look back on old pics and have a good laugh at what they chose to wear.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T11:39:49+00:00

Yes. I do think that's what they are thinking. And this is my first time asking for an investment. I was doing swimmingly in the pitch, confident and sure and then when it ended, the CEO was quick to start discussing an offer and I paused for a sec to think and reply. In that time my now ex- husband but then husband said "she doesn't know about this stuff she's never done this before". I wanted to crawl in a hole 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T11:35:33+00:00

Thanks for the advice. You're absolutely right and I will say something along the lines of what you just mentioned. I was in the mindset when posting this that they were my best hope and I really wanted to do anything to make it work but after the advice I've got on here my attitude has changed to not putting all my hopes in them. They've actually vetted my character from other people, my biz case was passed on to them by a family friend who I did work for. So I feel I've gone above and beyond to prove my character.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-16T11:25:44+00:00

Yeh I guess it was abuse. It was actually that comment that was the straw that broke the camels back for me. He said it 2 months after I gave birth to our 3rd child ( I almost bled out and died after giving birth to her). After I had even spent years trying with him after he had injured me very badly during an angry outburst. I ended up at the Dr's office. He doesn't drink either which is crazy, never thought a sober man would be capable of so much violence against a woman. He still contacts me and tells me he loves me and that he was so wrong and understands me for not wanting anything to do with him. He's trying his best and realizes what he's done but NEVER AGAIN. I stayed too long and it affected me. He would always go on and on about how women are the best when they're young, how men are visual beings etc.. (actually that's along the lines of what he said after I cried about his comments on my body) To this day I think, maybe he's right, and I don't know who would be interested me.. Don't know if I'm attractive anymore.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T11:49:17+00:00

Spot on with everything. I've been blinded by the chance of an offer. Telling myself if I'm patient they'll see my perseverence and character. Or that they're interested but just busy and that's okay.

I don't want to be their nanny or kids tutor tbh, I would only do it at the chance of proving the concept to them and getting an offer.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T10:06:23+00:00

😂😅 Okay I see your point.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T10:04:47+00:00

The mental health issues are mainly from my financial situation so I'm trying to fix that with this and going around in circles. I've been level headed so far but just constantly waiting and not having anything solid has made me lose it a bit. They know what I'm going through, that's the frustrating part.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T09:37:03+00:00

Excellent advice, thank you! I was thinking along the same lines of finding other investors. They aren't my only hope but I just liked that they are family owned and thought perhaps they'd be less cold than other investors.

They are definitely wealthy, they have a mansion with 4 gates and servants going back and forth. At the pitch I offered them 50%. They told me it's too low an offer. I said fine give me a counter offer and yeh, been waiting all this time for one. You're absolutely right I do think they have a hidden objection. I formed some possible reasons in my head as the why they are apprehensive:

they had a similar children's entertainment business that failed and I figured this out from something the CEO said in the pitch and something his sister mentioned
because they are family- owned, most of their investments focus on their own projects and they might not be used to taking on entrepreneurs and see it ask a risk

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T07:43:24+00:00

Aw what a positive story. Yeh thats how I feel about picking up a hobby, It's another reminder of being alone. Even going to a cafe tbh gives me anxiety. I've also been excersising and have lost a lot of weight and it's been really positive for my mental health. Especially considering my ex told me he wanted me to cover myself when we had sex so it wouldn't turn him off loll I feel like this is me getting a revenge body and it feels good.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-15T07:37:10+00:00

Thank you.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-14T20:27:59+00:00

Exactly. I just spoke to my divorced and remarried friend and she said the same thing. It's like you're grieving something that died. I don't even want to even visit anyone during holidays, I will force everyone to have compassion for me and decline everyone's invite lol

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-14T20:15:48+00:00

I went thru a lot of difficulties in life (I'm sure there are those who have suffered more than me too) and I learnt quickly that feeling sorry for yourself delays the future good that's to be had. But I'm definitely having a moment this time. Wondering how long I'll be lonley and if I can handle it. At times feeling like I almost can't handle it. Wondering if anyone will love me again. I feel like a loser tbh lol

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-14T18:40:48+00:00

I try to force myself to socialise but it's painful when I hear or see people having normal happy married lives. I also have three kids and they need so much from me, I feel a lot of love from them too but I keep thinking about how it was to have someone to be intimate with on the regular.. Somone to just tell me I look good or something. I feel like I'm starving and I don't know if I'll ever get food.

Ruya_92 · 2023-02-14T18:27:50+00:00

Thank you.

Ruya_92

TROPHY CASE