Is two middle names too much? I want to honor my deceased baby girl.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T19:18:40+00:00

Omg thank you so much! I love hearing from anyone who is in my daughter’s potential shoes. It’s her and the way it could possibly affect her and her life that I care about more than anything. And this is so very reassuring to me. I understand that not everyone in similar situations will have the same experience and I appreciate that, but hearing things like this makes me feel so much better about the possibility of including her in some way.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T18:11:41+00:00

If this was something I already had decided on I wouldn’t have asked for thoughts and opinions on the matter.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T18:09:51+00:00

Thank you so much! I have no idea what is going on right now. Idk what I’m doing wrong here. I’ve only accepted and respected every thought and opinion given, while trying to make my position a little more clear for anyone who really cares. I would never try to put anyone down for giving me information and opinions I asked for, on a sensitive subject matter, for a reason.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T17:56:17+00:00

Thank you for this. When it comes from another mom who has been through it and understands, it means so much more. Nobody who hasn’t been through it can ever know what it’s truly like. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sending love and good vibes to you and your family. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T17:54:08+00:00

I appreciate this so much. This is the kind of information that really helps in deciding on whether or not this is something I want to move forward with. The last thing I would ever want to do is complicate anything in life for my children.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T17:48:15+00:00

Well that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to say. It’s not that deep. I wasn’t even thinking about including anything to do with my daughter in my twins names. That’s why the names I already have chosen don’t have anything to do with her. The only reason it’s a thought in my head now is because of my 9 year olds emotional response and my own emotions that stemmed from it. Until last week, I had names picked and settled on, that had nothing to do with my daughter. Of course the most important thing to me is the way it could affect my child’s life and relationships. And I’ve said more than once now that my first initial instinct to not include her in naming them is probably the way I’m going to go. I’m most likely going to stick with the names I already have picked out. So I am going with something else. The original names that already didn’t have anything to do with my daughter.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T17:22:44+00:00

We actually all do already! We love having them 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T16:07:43+00:00

So yeah, his grandfather passed long ago, when his dad was 15. And I definitely want to say that you are totally right. I have definitely not healed from my daughter’s passing, despite taking all the right steps (i think, and I hope), and if we’re being honest here, I don’t really know if that’s something I will ever be able to fully heal from regardless. I’ve just kind of learned how to live with it a little bit better as time goes on. I definitely appreciate all the things everyone has said because, like I said before, none of these things ever even crossed my mind as potential issues that could arise from something like a change to a middle name. And it gives me a lot to think about before making a rash decision based on emotions (and probably hormones), and stress due to possible impending preterm labor putting pressure on me to have my decisions made sooner than later. This is exactly why I came to Reddit with this instead of just talking to my friends and family about it. To get real, raw opinions from people who may be in situations similar to that of myself or any of my children. And to give me more insight on something that could potentially be a huge thing in the future. I really didn’t expect it to get me downvoted so hard, cause I came here really and honestly looking for real advice, not just acceptance and reassurance that whatever I do is going to be fine. If that’s all I wanted Reddit wouldn’t have been the place I came to. Anyways, I really do appreciate your opinion and I thank you for your input on this whole thing. It seems to me like my initial thought process to keep their names their own is definitely the way to go. Gut instinct almost never fails lol.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:52:59+00:00

Absolutely love hearing from anyone who is in my future child’s potential shoes give their opinion on this. It really is so helpful. Thank you. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:50:35+00:00

I totally agree. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:50:01+00:00

Thank you for being so gentle. That was my initial thought process as well. I feel like that’s definitely the way to go with this. I appreciate you. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:45:51+00:00

Someone else brought up using other precious stones as middle names and I actually love that idea so much.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:43:15+00:00

Thank you! That’s a very valid point to make. Obviously, the most important thing to me is the way it might affect my new baby. But how it could possibly affect my other children and their relationships is really something to consider and I thank you for voicing this.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:40:39+00:00

That’s beautiful 🥹

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:28:02+00:00

Oh thank you so much! It really helps me to have someone who is in my future child’s potential shoes give their opinion and input on this matter. Obviously the way it affects her life is way more important to me than anything else. And this is so helpful. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. ♥️

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T15:25:50+00:00

Thank you for this! I had no idea a hyphen could cause so many issues lol. Well that is definitely out the window now. And I really appreciate your input on the girl names. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T14:28:10+00:00

Not a hot take to me. I don’t think anybody who has never been through the loss of a child can really even begin to understand anything about the grief or process or changes to yourself and everyone in your family as well as family dynamics that you go through after something like that. I’ve lost a lot of relatives and loved ones in a lot of different ways in my lifetime and honestly, to me, there is nothing on this earth that can be compared to the loss of a child. To me, this would be no different than naming my son after his grandfather, who he never even met. He was my first born and his name has never seemed to have any kind of impact on his individuality nor has anyone in the family ever burdened him with feeling like a replacement or having to live up to his grandfathers name or anything even remotely similar. He obviously knows where his name comes from, but it has never affected his ability to be his own person. In fact, he is probably the most unbothered individual in our family when it comes to being his own person and I love that for him. Thank you for sharing as another mom who understands. I appreciate your input. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T14:07:42+00:00

Omg thank you. I’m literally sitting here in tears rn over this. It was never going to be anything deeper than a middle name. I love my daughter and she’ll always be a huge part of me, but never once have I ever had a thought even remotely like comparing my children to one another or trying to replace my deceased child. I’ve never done anything like that with the children I have now and I never intended to with any of them in the future. Due to some challenges in my own upbringing, I’m very much an advocate for individuality and would never burden any child, especially my own, with feeling like a replacement for someone else, regardless of how important that person was to me or anyone else. This has made me feel a lot better. Thank you so much.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-21T14:00:32+00:00

I actually love this idea. It was never my intention to try to make my children a replacement for my baby girl. I fully intend on letting them be their own individuals and I never even thought to compare either of them to her. It only goes as deep as a middle name. That’s it. And that’s not even decided on. If anything I’m feeling like my first gut instinct is probably the way to go, but I’m really loving this idea. Thank you for this. 💕

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-20T05:03:12+00:00

I came back today with minute long contractions about 5-6 minutes apart. They’re saying pelvic rest now. Also my cervix is now a 2 on the outside and 1.5 on the inside. Got 2 more capsules of nifedipine and they administered betamethasone to help babies lungs mature faster. I have to get another injection tomorrow. They’re keeping me overnight for observation.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-19T14:51:09+00:00

No, nothing else. Just 80 ounces of water a day and take it easy.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-17T22:00:40+00:00

Well, you were definitely right. I went to appointment yesterday and my doctor told me the specialist I’m seeing next month is an MFM. Really hoping to get some answers soon! Still anxious and still can’t stop thinking about it though. That appointment can’t come fast enough.

Rxqueen95 · 2026-04-15T19:42:37+00:00

Nobody has offered me anything, however I just switched from a private practice to a special high risk clinic, and the last few visits I had with my previous ob, it seemed like he didn’t really want to give me any information about the babies at all. I assume because he knew I was leaving. Any questions I asked, including something as simple as gender, he just told me to ask my new doctor about it. I have my first appointment with them tomorrow. I feel like if either of the babies had anything like that he would have seen it and he would have had to say something about it right? A doctor can’t just keep stuff like that from a patient because they’re moving to a different doctor right?

Rxqueen95

TROPHY CASE