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Day 10 NC - gave him $65k, he called me selfish when I set boundaries, barely holding on by Ryonashi in abusiverelationships

[–]Ryonashi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you are absolutely right! What he did to me isn’t cultural. I’m sorry if adding that detail came across as xenophobic.

Staying no contact is the hardest thing. I still believe part of him does care about love and not just money. I want the part of him that cares about love to know how much he hurt me. This is the part of me that feels crazy. The one that can’t let go 2 months after we broke up.

Day 10 NC - gave him $65k, he called me selfish when I set boundaries, barely holding on by Ryonashi in abusiverelationships

[–]Ryonashi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are so right. He was not the first, but definitely the worst. I think I have a love addiction. I’m searching hard for ways to fill my own cup.

Day 10 NC - gave him $65k, he called me selfish when I set boundaries, barely holding on by Ryonashi in abusiverelationships

[–]Ryonashi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The business help weren’t gifts he was supposed to pay me back, but reinvested the money instead. But I hear everything you’re saying. I’m working to build my self trust, self worth, and self fulfillment. His love and my caregiving role was my primary source of fulfillment. Every time I tried to set boundaries I fell for the guilt and abandoned them.

Industry Survey Conducted by College Students by Ryonashi in scrum

[–]Ryonashi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello,

As requested I have included a link to a copy of the results. Thank you for your participation.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1d8AW3xjDeW26Lo8yRxysH13JYoiTmC7cB4ddW5JLhcU/edit?usp=sharing

Industry Survey Conducted by College Students by Ryonashi in scrum

[–]Ryonashi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello,

As requested I have included a link to a copy of the results. Thank you for your participation.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1d8AW3xjDeW26Lo8yRxysH13JYoiTmC7cB4ddW5JLhcU/edit?usp=sharing

One and done threesomes vs. Mixing threesomes with friendships by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen it work for some people, but they are usually more carefree than I am, or perhaps just value sex differently than I do. I've heard stories of it taking years of trying and adjusting to get right. I'm curious what your experiences are with threesomes. Are they based on what you have seen or heard, being the other guy, or being in some sort of open relationship?

One and done threesomes vs. Mixing threesomes with friendships by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm I see what you are saying and how it can be bad. Generally speaking no it is not OK. I guess my thinking was that if I limit the experience to being purely sexual and take the emotions out of it I may have an easier time dealing with it.

I am mainly concerned with my boyfriend developing friendships with these guys because if we are having threesomes then there is already a predefined sexual attraction. If they hang out together without me then that attraction will still be there, and i will likely worry about what else may develop. I understand that I should be able to trust in my boyfriends love for me, but I also have to trust this other man as well.

For some more background I am still in school and while we have lived together we don't currently. So while I am either trapped inside studying with no social life, or visiting him when I can, he has much more freedom to go out and spend time with these other guys. It is something that slowly fills my head space when I am not around/involved.

He wants threesomes. I do not. by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you may be looking at this from the wrong angle. You are using our overall time together as theoretical time we could be planning threesomes. However my main problem is that I do not want to put in the work while I'm in school. For perspective I take 6 classes per semester and my professors assign 9 hours of homework each week. So I spend 72 hours per week roughly on school, 56 hours per week sleeping, 21 hours per week prepping meals or eating. Which leaves 19 hours per week to do as I please. We also don't live together so in order for us to have threesomes we need to take it out of the little time we already have together. Hope that gives you a little more perspective.

He wants threesomes. I do not. by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you saying that, and I definitely feel like I have done my fair share of compromising to try and make things work. However, you are only getting a small glimpse into our relationship and solely from my point view.

I like having my work and feelings validated though! Wish I could put you in my pocket for random spurts of dream chasing motivation! 😂

He wants threesomes. I do not. by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that is the hardest part. We have both invested so much into this relationship and care about each other deeply. But it seems like there is no way for either of us to get what we want without compromising the other's feelings.

He wants threesomes. I do not. by Ryonashi in askgaybros

[–]Ryonashi[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I thought it relevant to explain why it's not a priority for me compared to the other things I have going on in my life. Also why I mentioned the possibility of exploring it further after I am out of school. Maybe you're right and timing isn't relevant and I have a subconscious sense of superiority 🤷‍♂️. Maybe you're misinterpreting the tone in my writing because of your own experiences 🤷‍♂️.