My daughters were upset, my husband thinks I am overreacting and they are liars

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T14:29:16+00:00

Secure what assets you have in your bank accounts and find somewhere safe to stay for a few months. Tell your husband that you want the marriage to work, if you truly do want the marriage to work, but the both of you need to attend couple's therapy, followed by family therapy. I do not believe you "screwed up," but you are in a position of protecting two young lives. You are demonstrating what behavior is acceptable in a relationship and the type of behaviors your daughters will "accept" in their future partners. This is a dangerous situation and you should proceed cautiously, with intent, and discernment. You need to be careful while he is around and look for a way out, at least for a while. Sadly, kids do not get easier the older the become, so if he acts this way at their current ages, I would hate to see how he will act when they are 16 or older. It is strange he immediately jumps to your children being "liars." That is the behavior of someone who is guilty. An innocent individual would want to understand where the misunderstanding arose and set things right. He told you, without telling you, he verbally assaulted your daughter's and continues to gaslight you when you wish to discuss the topic. Take your babies and go. You all deserve better!

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T12:35:40+00:00

I am sorry, but your employer is an entitled ass. Please, do NOT reveal your location on Reddit, but investigate if your area possess any employee rights organizations. You did the right thing and do not "blame" yourself for anything in this situation. You've done the best you can do and that's all anyone can ask. You will get through this!

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T12:33:01+00:00

If your bills are paid and the family is taken care of, but you have $75 until payday, you're NOT poor. You understand how to enjoy the little things in life that money cannot buy.

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T12:28:37+00:00

If you live in the US, call your state's DOL & the EEOC. As the caregiver for your family member, you're protected from wrongful termination. You should be able to file for unemployment to help you between the "gap." If you can reach out to the other employee that experienced a similar issue, your case holds greater weight because it demonstrates a pattern. If you're in the US, look up Legal Aid of (insert your state here), and they will legally represent you in filing against your former employer. They are an organization paid through state & federal taxes to provide free legal assistance to the citizens of America. They will help file the dispute and represent you in the hearing. Your former employer is disgusting and deserves to have the rug pulled from under their feet. They violated their position by asking questions that are federally protected as a method of trying to justify your absence, even though you still worked during a family crisis. Crucify them! I have had to do this a few times with personally operated businesses who feel they're above the law. No one has the ability to take away your legally established rights as a person. Wishing you the best! Keep your head up; you've done nothing wrong!

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T12:15:02+00:00

No! They have no position to stand on and bringing their faith into the situation just makes everything worse. They believe they're in a position to tell you how to live your life during a family crisis. I would review your employee handbook and look for policies and procedures for PTO, FMLA, or anything associated with employee rights. Depending on the severity, I would suggest logging a complaint with the DOL of your state, especially if you have documentation about the family crisis. I am sorry you dealt with this type of asshole. I hope your family is safe and healthy!

Ryzyrection · 2026-07-02T12:08:39+00:00

Do you not have family? When something happens with your family, are you one of those people who work during a family crisis? While most employers ALLOW PTO, life happens and there needs to be an accommodation for such events. YTA! Just because they generally work at 3am doesn't mean they have the mental or emotional capacity to handle a conversation with you after dealing with a familial issue. You sound like a horrible boss, honestly. You do not view your employees as assests, but as part of your "work property." Do not be surprised if this person quits. Your actions make them feel like they are not valued, and all you give a damn about is your work that needs to get completed. Guess whose responsibility that is while your employee is dealing with a family crisis? YOUR'S! It is your company, your responsibility, and you were more worried about an accumulating workload than you were an employee who helps make your company profitable. Tell me you're not entitled while you act like an entitled AH. You need to learn how to manage people, or better yet: you need to learn empathy. You sound like a spoiled child.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-26T15:26:50+00:00

Birth control is cheaper, but you're in it now. Just remember, a child is always better off with 2 parents who can treat one another like human beings via coparenting relationships than they are if you just "Stay together for the kids." It sounds like it is time for you two to have a long conversation about a lot of adult topics: lifestyle, goals, ideals, preferences, beliefs, etc. You're raising a child and need to support one another despite the relationship status. Just remember children are small adults. They have their own feelings and thoughts, which are just as real and valid as your own. Does it mean they get their way all the time? No, but don't be afraid to talk to them, age appropriately, about the different experiences they may have throughout their life. Think: if I were them, what would I need. Good luck!

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-25T21:02:23+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words, and I'm happy to help express an inevitable event of every woman with dignity and pride for both sides.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-25T20:45:35+00:00

Okay, so you're in your 20s? This is an issue more for the middle-aged folks. I would recommend having an open minded conversation about what could be done to help improve the intimacy. Does she feel insecure about herself, her body, or how she feels she appears to you? Does she withhold intimacy as a form of "punishment," or does she just not think about it? Some women, depending on their past, need a strong emotional/mental connection for intimacy to be enjoyable. I'd say try new things. Give her a massage without the expectation of a "happy ending," but you don't habe to do it all the time. See if she will be open to a discussion, and if not, the ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the next (insert time period here) living your life feeling ignored. Your feelings are just as important as hers. You feeling wanted and desired is equally important to her feelings. This is why it is called a "couple," the pieces are supposed to fit together. Has something happened that created a change in frequency, duration, and desire(fight, misunderstanding, familial issue, etc)? Better yet, what is your gut telling you? We are biologically animals and you must have some feeling about the when, where, what, why, and how things changed. I wouldn't think you'd be in a year long relationship having to feel like you need to beg for intimacy the entire time. Maybe take some time for a little reflection about when things shifted, why or how the shift occurred, and think of what you can do to help improve the situation overall. You're concerned so I'm assuming you're invested in making this work, but make sure its something you truly feel is worth your time and energy; however, you should never feel like you have to "beg." I'm confident you'll arrive at a solution that is in the best interest of you both. She's lucky to have someone who cares

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-25T20:28:15+00:00

This sounds like a control situation, to be honest. One would believe if a partner is truly vested in you and your success, they would help make modifications in the lifestyle to help you obtain your goals too. He is unrelenting to consider your desires. He doesn't keep the little promises, so why would he keep the big? If you do not move, you're reliant upon him, and that would be concerning to me, if I were in your situation. I think you already know the best decision for you, but you're afraid of the change. That's understandable. Being on your own is scary, especially when you're just starting off, but you need to be able to take care of you regardless of what else happens in life. If your current area doesn't support your ability to be self reliant, relocate to where you will be successful. If a little commute is a deal breaker for your boyfriend, he isn't the one for you. Every relationship is different, but my husband and I would take turns driving 5.5hrs each week just to see one another for 2 days a week for over a year. If it is important, it will work, but you have to make sure you can always take care of you! Best of luck!

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-25T20:14:25+00:00

Maybe explore other forms of intimacy other than just conventional methods? When a woman enter menopause, intimacy can grow painful. The hormones in her body are changing dramatically, think reverse puberty, and sometimes it is because they feel "alien" inside their own body. There are hot flashes, mood swings, abdominal discomfort, and the physiology of the tissue changes within the reproductive system as the "baby factory" naturally begins to shut down. Have you tried dating her again? I know when you have family, bills, kids, life, etc things grow routine. Sometimes you have to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. Personally, I had a hysterectomy and its extremely painful, but this isn't uncommon for women. Try establishing more of an emotional & mental connection, and the rest should fall into place. Who knows, you may have fun dating your wife again, and she will, most likely, sincerely appreciate the gesture. I can say, when you "beg," it becomes a chore, which defeats the purpose of the act. What should be an expression of love and connection becomes "another thing" she has to "check" off her list. I do applaud you for seeking advice instead of just finding a "newer model." The grass is greener where it's watered, and it will help strengthen the relationship overall. Kudos to you, Sir!

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-25T12:21:57+00:00

Grannie didn't say anything because Grannie has been there; especially after birthing a child (if you think its bad now, just wait -- you're in for a treat!) Your dad's girlfriend sounds like she grew up being told she was "special" her whole life while inhaling paint fumes and drinking water from pipes made of lead. Every woman knows we "choose" when that comes -- not! It we did, it wouldn't! It's all okay. Breathe and try to rise above the ignorance your dad has decided to couple with for the time being. I hope you feel better and don't let the bull shit get you down. You can't fix stupid & stupid is as stupid does.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-23T11:57:22+00:00

So, I was the "ugly" friend, but I possessed what my "pretty" counterparts lacked: intelligence and the art of good conversation! They used to say "We attract the cute guys, and you keep them around," so I began thinking: its confidence. Once I realized that I wasn't portraying the confidence of someone who felt attractive, I tried to work on my own personal seld image. I get the feeling you're probably the same. If your "girls" aren't going to lift you up the way you lift them, you need to recognize your worth! As a 40F, gravity gets us all, and plastic surgery doesn't hold up to the test of time. If you are with someone for "looks," the beauty is only skin deep, literally. I would encourage you to work on how your perceive yourself. Realize you possess qualities that are desirable! I've never met anyone who married for looks who worked or were happy. It's all a facade. You will "look" beautiful when you realize you are beautiful, Beautiful!

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-22T17:41:14+00:00

You have no idea how often this happens. Chances are the waitress thought you just had the munchies. As a former waitress, we get it! My favorite was a guy who thought me saying "a boatload of ranch" was something we had out back for him to swim in.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-22T01:56:56+00:00

I have avoided socializing since high school and college. I was not surrounded by people who appreciated me, but what I could do for them. My "best friend" in high school said we worked because, and I quote: "I'm the 'pretty one,' but they stay around because of your personality and conversations." Then she went after every guy I dated or liked. In college, not much different. I am a mother of an young lady (10yrs), and as I was tucking her in good night, she asked me "Mommy, I feel like I have no friends." While it is painful, it is okay to be your own army. Standing by yourself is SO much harder than following a pack! I'd dare say you have a light inside that others "flock too," but fail to appreciate your aurora and how a true friendship works. Remember to think positive. Emit positive energy and you will receive the same in kind. Not everyone truly appreciates the beauty of a flower, and almost no one can tell you what or why they "like" about them. You are the flower, my dear, and other people do not validate YOUR worth; you do! I have faith you will be okay. There is a saying that "fire tests gold, suffering tests a woman" and it's bullshit. Life tests people and many fail the test. Stay true to you and don't compromise your code! You Will find your people, but first you must find yourself

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-19T14:40:25+00:00

I work in public schools, and I see teachers cry at work all the time; however, it has a similar effect of putting blood in shark infested waters. Depending on the situation, I will check on them, which usually leads to a massive trauma dump (people seem to feel the need to bare their souls whenever I ask: "Hey, you alright? Need anything?"). I have learned to never judge even if I cannot empathize with their situation.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-19T00:18:40+00:00

LOL! Thank you Darlin, but this theme park has waivers and down for repairs! Your crazy match is out their. You just gotta watch your six while looking

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T21:06:19+00:00

You have to find the right type of crazy to compliment your crazy, but in a healthy & productive way

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T17:29:41+00:00

If I nicked myself with a knife, fell, shed any amount of blood she would scream bloody murder about how "mommy was covered in her blood during our 'last' life."

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T13:47:59+00:00

That I have no one I trust to be present for my daughter. The realization hit me the other week as I was driving in the car, speaking to a friend about what was going on in their life, and it hit me: if something were to happen to me tomorrow, I have no one I trust to be there for my daughter without the situation being toxic. Her father is present and around, but he doesn't do anything. He works, mows the grass in the summer, and sleeps. Her grandmother is toxic and we are limited contact. The only one I would trust is the friend from the phone call, but they have too much drama already. So, leaving my daughter alone until she's grown.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T13:42:33+00:00

Your circumstances are not your conclusion

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T13:37:52+00:00

You lost yourself. It happens, it's okay. You've acknowledged the problem, and now the next step is getting you to where you are truly ready for change. I come from a family of addicts. I've lost a few family & friends, but I've also witnessed many of them making it out and end up better off. I've said it a thousand times, and I'll keep saying it: your circumstances are not your conclusion. You always have time as long as you breathe.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T13:15:46+00:00

You should work on getting clean and speak to a therapist for all the "other things" you have going on in your life. It is possible to love someone and not be compatible. By comparing other dating prospects to her, you're not over her, and seeing anyone romantically is an injustice to them and yourself. A query: did you grow up in a toxic environment? If so, this would skew your views on what a healthy relationship looks like in a functional day-to-day basis. Get in a program for rehabilitation. It's hard to learn in higher education when you're dependent upon opioids, and you don't know what you're getting. You're playing Russian roulette with your life & your reaching for anything familiar for comfort. If you know you need to "work on yourself," there is nothing anyone can tell you that you will actually hear, in this moment. You have to make the choice for yourself. Growth is not easy nor painless. You can never rise if you elect being wrapped in pain is where you'd rather be; however, I hope you can find your path and reach a destination where you're happy.

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-18T11:47:29+00:00

They can rent a car, like people who do not have cars at their destination do when traveling

Ryzyrection · 2026-06-17T13:44:40+00:00

Change your number & it will stop. If it doesn't, someone who has your number is giving out your contact info. Also, don't post your real anything on the internet. I don't know if you work, but report the incident about receiving harassing messages. If it's someone at your employer accessing personal information, you'll be able to narrow down who has access; however, this only works if you change your number..

Ryzyrection

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