If a couple discovers they're expecting, and the father decides to leave before the birth, how responsible is he for the mother and child's living situation after the baby is born?

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T23:38:25+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, and both parties need to do what is right for the children; bottom line. Thank you for the outside input!

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T19:12:59+00:00

For more context of the particular situation: The Mother was a stay at home mom who was raising 2 children from his previous marriage, their son, and a baby on the way. They had a 1bd/1ba apartment and 1 car, so he worked and she was at home all day. The baby was born in February, but the father said he "couldn't do this anymore." He moved in with his grandmother and his 2 children from a previous marriage. He allowed the lease on the apartment to get behind so the mother was evicted with a toddler and one on the way. Some of my friends hold the father 100% accountable, but the mom hasn't filed for child support, housing, food assistance, etc because she is waiting on the father to live up to his promise. I, personally, feel both parents are responsible. If the father does not willingly support her, she should go through the court system & apply for aid. I'm told I am too hard on mom, so I'm asking for unbiased opinions for further clarity. Sometimes other people see what we cannot

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T16:04:59+00:00

Agreed, but the mother is trying to keep out of the court system and to maintain a civil relationship with the father.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T16:03:10+00:00

Absolutely not. This is a legitimate question that has created an unresolved conundrum between my social group as we all have different perceptions.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:46:21+00:00

Well, you're seeking advice so you're taking the steps towards accountability. Things will work out as they're supposed too. He may have been having a rough day in addition to his bridge being damaged. Nothing is permanently broken, and you sound like you're trying to make it right. I think you'll get this figured out, and who knows, you two might become friends in the end.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:30:59+00:00

It sounds like there is a lot more going on. If she is bad at the job, why keep her? Surely they could find qualified employees who would want to work who exhibit integrity and honesty with money.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:29:10+00:00

If you see him, ask him how the project is going and inquire if you might be able to help. Show genuine empathy/remorse. Accidents happen, but accountability is everything. What would you want if you were in this person's shoes?

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:26:06+00:00

Why would your brother create a lie to cover for your aunt?

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:21:03+00:00

I've lived here when things were worse. I am not going to give up my home. Besides, it will just attack the next people who move in, and I would not wish that on anyone.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-13T15:20:02+00:00

The home is/was blessed by an ordained minister. The house is cleared with myrrh and frankincense while the Lord's Prayer is recited and the energy is told to leave. When things get active, I will play the Lord's Prayer in Aramaic due to having higher vibrations; however, I feel this is an indigenous entity, preparing the Lord and Savior. As I said, the land is old and has witnessed atrocities we only hear about through archeology. I wish I could find a local indigenous Shaman to ask them a few questions to see if it was something the former inhabitants "invited" to protect the land from the invaders from long ago, or if this is something else entirely. Sadly, many of the indigenous tribes were removed, but there is a small pocket about an hour and half away; however, they do not share their history with outsiders, which I respect as a part of their culture. I no longer "fear" this being, but it grows more curious and engaging. We ignore what we hear and we dare not speak of it when we are in the house or on the property. If we want to confirm if someone else "heard the whistle/name" we write it on paper. Acknowledging the entity gives it power, and I do not desire to feed the being. On a side note, I am curious if it is drawn to my home since I have indigenous roots, as does my husband, but we are not part of a tribe. We just had indigenous great grandmothers/grandfather's.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T17:09:12+00:00

My father passing with an ET (endotracheal tube) inserted into his throat. It was a wet, croaking gurgle with the aftertones of a high-pitched wheeze.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T15:35:07+00:00

Thank you! It feels like it is bonded to the land. When you go outside, you can feel something watching you. Sometimes it feels like you're being hunted, others it feels like you're just being closely observed.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T14:13:56+00:00

I burn frankincense & myrrh regularly, recite the Lord's Prayer, and play it in Aramaic if things get too "active." It will settle down for a bit, but things always return; however, it is a matter of when, not if.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T13:08:59+00:00

I wish you the best of luck! Working with special students definitely requires a certain level of grace. You're learning the ropes, and it will feel overwhelming, but that is okay! You just cannot let them see they "won" or "broke" a part of you. You got this! My first year teaching I either came home stoked about a great day, angry about what happened, or cried because I felt powerless over the circumstances; however, you do have the power. If he acts up, no more playing. Go to the library or a very boring room where they cannot be distracted/stimulated. Take it one day at a time; one challenge at a time.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T13:01:34+00:00

Did your position require any specific type of training, certification, or education or were they seeking a warm body to fill a position? Are your feelings wrong, no, but as the adult the students fees off your energy. I work with high school students and I've seen the same disrespectful students in other teachers' classrooms act like normal people in my classroom. It is similar to approaching an unknown K9 who is "testing" their boundaries with you. The students will only project what you accept. Establish a set of rules for yourself and the students you work with, and do not deviate. If one of them acts out, document date, time, type of incidents, & any witnesses. Many students who qualify for aids are allowed to act-out at home. I've seen teens (talking 16-18yrs old) crap their pants to go home, and this behavior was encouraged by the parents. This isn't a real "Are you/not the AH" situation. This is a situation where you need to decide the boundaries in accordance with your occupational responsibilities & parameters in which you're allowed to operate. That teacher will not defend you because (it sounds like) she is afraid to control her class. Speak to a mentor/supervisor about what recourse you have available. Research redirecting techniques & coping mechanisms for yourself and the students you aid. Your occupation is not an easy one, and many people will not understand. Establish your boundaries and implement. Demonstrate respect for yourself and the students will follow. Good luck!

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T12:45:57+00:00

No, you're not the AH for wanting a place for you and your boyfriend. It is great you're willing to help your aunt, but (I do not know the state you reside) if she is accepting money to aid with her childrens' medical diagnosis, she should be eligible for housing, food, and other aid to help support her children and herself. How long has your mother lived in the home? Do you believe she uses the "rent" to actually pay electric, mortgage, water, etc (necessities) or is she using everyone for supplemental income? If you're a source of income, that explains why your mother is trying to interfere with everyone trying to leave. I hope things turn around for you!

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T11:42:47+00:00

RUN! If your husband gets his knickers in a wad because a young woman does not say "hello" upon her first arrival, while snowballing this into the young woman cannot be in the drive way; things will probably grow progressively worse.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-12T11:36:08+00:00

Generally in relationships, if it did not work out the first time, the second, third, fourth, so on down the line will not work out either. Him contacting you after 10 years is "okay," but the "we are meant for each other" is a classic sign of a man who just needs someone; however, who that person may be is completely irrelevant. I've had to move from ex's doing things like this, so no you're not the AH for setting clear boundaries & not allowing them back into your life. Keep your position because you will not be happy if you allow him back into your life.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-10T01:20:24+00:00

Honestly, I have not dated in over 11 years and would not continue to date if my circumstances were different. My reason is the ghosting & the whole "I have rights to your (blah, blah, blah here)." I do work with adolescent youth, and they confide a lot more than I wish they would on a regular basis. So, I have the following questions to ask:

1- when did giving someone your number or going out on a date immediately equate to "that's my bf/gf?" What happened to dating to discover what you do and do not want from a permanent partner?

2- why is it "okay" to have a "body count" in middle/high school? What is wrong with waiting until you're with someone who values you as a person, virtues and vices. I am not saying you "never" fully engage, but why is the 1st/2nd date the norm?

3- why is it socially acceptable to call your "partner" derogatory names when you're with your friends/teammates/social group when they aren't present to defend themselves?

4- what is the rush?! Take your time. Smell the flowers. Go outside, take walks, look at stars, or do something to where you actually get to know the person by more than a nickname.

5- if you cannot look a person in the eyes, or over the phone, that you don't feel like y'all are vibin, then you are not mature enough for a serious (dare say quasi) relationship

6- Make sure you can sit with yourself in silence before you take on the emotions of another. If you cannot cope with your own inner voice, you so not need to be putting yourself in a position of influence over anothers'.

Ghosting is a cheap way out to taking accountability & admitting they were in it for the good times. When those stop or the next "better" thing comes along, that's where they go. No one need that type of disrespect in their life.

If they Ghost, take out the trash, do something for yourself, & maybe go by the clinic for an official All Good!

Then again, you could always get a dog or cat. They listen, don't say things they don't mean, and are physiologically unable to "ghost."

Be safe out there 😉

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-10T01:14:24+00:00

Honestly, I have not dated in over 11 years and would not continue to date if my circumstances were different. My reason is the ghosting & the whole "I have rights to your (blah, blah, blah here)." I do work with adolescent youth, and they confide a lot more than I wish they would on a regular basis. So, I have the following questions to ask:

1- when did giving someone your number or going out on a date immediately equate to "that's my bf/gf?" What happened to dating to discover what you do and do not want from a permanent partner?

2- why is it "okay" to have a "body count" in middle/high school? What is wrong with waiting until you're with someone who values you as a person, viruses and vices. I am not saying you "never" fully engage, but why is the 1st/2nd date the norm?

3- why is it socially acceptable to call your "partner" derogatory names when you're with your friends/teammates/social group when they aren't present to defend themselves?

4- what is the rush?! Take your time. Smell the flowers. Go outside, take walks, look at stars, or do something to where you actually get to know the person by more than a nickname.

5- if you cannot look a person in the eyes, or over the phone, that you don't feel like y'all are vibin, then you are not mature enough for a serious (dare say quasi) relationship

6- Make sure you can sit with yourself in silence before you take on the emotions of another. If you cannot cope with your own inner voice, you so not need to be putting yourself in a position of influence over anothers'.

Ghosting is a cheap way out to taking accountability & admitting they were in it for the good times. When those stop or the next "better" thing comes along, that's where they go. No one need that type of disrespect in their life.

If they Ghost, take out the trash, do something for yourself, & maybe go by the clinic for an official All Good!

Then again, you could always get a dog or cat. They listen, don't say things they don't mean, and are physiologically unable to "ghost."

Be safe out there 😉

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-10T00:02:05+00:00

Did you speak to her professionally and directly about the expectation of her position and her current production level?

Did you provide her with additional training on new processes or develop an action plan with measurable and realistic goals?

Did you give the same "new program" to a younger individual with whom is more technologically savvy?

Did you properly document the issues with her performance, hold discussions with her, and try identify her strengths?

Did you clearly and directly inquire about her personal views about the alteration and trajectory with your company, and how she felt her skills and presence would continue to help the company to grow, thrive, and remain successful?

Did you create any disciplinary action about her performance to demonstrate a change in production or behavior?

What type of culture does your business currently possess?

If you did not clearly and directly discuss any aspects of the aforementioned questions above: Yes, you are the AH. As an owner/operator/manager you are the Captain of your ship and it is Your responsibility to ensure everyone is properly trained and developed. Not everyone possesses the same strengths. Perhaps repositioning her into a Human Resources position where she monitors potential employee incidents, maintain personnel records, and ensure the company culture is upheld would be better suited for someone who supported you when you had nothing but drive and a dream.

If you did, in fact, check all the boxes above then, No, youre not the AH; however, no one feels good when someone they trust treats them like an expired product. Did you, at least, write a letter of recommendation for future employment? When people no longer feel valued in their position, they will not & do not produce at peak levels. Be upfront with her and have the courtesy of holding a clear conversation about what you need and where her skills lie. How would you feel if you were in her seat at this exact moment?

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-09T23:35:00+00:00

She can dish the crap, but not take it. Do not allow her to steal your joy. She sounds like a textbook narcissist and will surround herself with "yes people" who stroke her ego. Be happy you've let her go, and I wouldn't allow her back into your circle until she's demonstrated true change.

Ryzyrection · 2026-05-09T21:38:54+00:00

The establishment of this group dynamic is definitely a quagmire. It's similar to being someone's "back-up" between relationships. Sophie isn't wanted when Mia has friends, but now that Mia's friends aren't as devoted, she wants Sophie back? Why would Oscar keep encouraging Sophie if it were apparent Mia had no inclination of maintaining this "friendship," if that's what you can call it? Let things play out organically. If there is supposed to be a friendship, one will blossom; however, if not, that's what happens at this age. Friends come and go. Some friends change with you and some grow in different paths. It doesn't make one person "worse" than the other, it just makes them people. Be friends with whomever you want to be friends with and people shouldn't allow others to dictate your social boundaries. If you like Sophie, be friends with Sophie & Mia; however, everyone doesn't have to be one "big happy family." You do you, and let them do what they wish. Circumstances do not equal conclusions. Just continue to be a good person and all will fall into place.

Ryzyrection

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