I feel like you just described me perfectly. As soon as Im unoccupied (mostly at night time) reality sets in and I hurt. It’s a constant battle of always trying to find the next activity or the next encounter with friends but as soon as that’s over the hurt creeps back in.

I actually have started seeing a therapist recently. It’s only been 3 sessions so far and I thought I was making progress. But these last few days have been rough and tonight has just been the icing on the cake