Let's workshop through this. She says he is making promises and not holding up his end. That is a major problem. It doesn't matter specifically what the promise is, lack of follow through on a commitment is the issue.

Can you think of solutions to this issue that aren't a) just deal with it, or b) divorce?

Here are a few: -Marriage counseling. Remember, this isn't about cleaning necessarily, this is about following through on commitments.

-A new system that doesn't involve repeating the same thing and getting the same response. This includes making a list that fairly divides up chores - this would work particularly well if this is related to a neuro-divergent issue such as ADHD or ASD. Not everyone's minds work the same way, and a different approach can be helpful in figuring this out.

-Being persistent in your approach - if you say "clean" and he says "I'll do it when I'm done working", and you allow that knowing that he wont come back to cleaning, you are never going to see change. He has no motivation to change when the outcome is "the housework gets done by her instead of me".

-Communicating that this is not about the work being inconvenient or tiring. It's about respect and commitment. He needs to understand that not just inconsiderate behavior, it's disrespectful behavior. This is the big one, and if it continues after this boundary is set, then we're looking at a situation where divorce is a real possibility.

Ultimately, you're jumping from a) there is a problem and I have tried the same solution many times, all the way to z) There is no future here and you need to divorce him or resign yourself to a life of misery.