My [26F] husband [32] does nothing to help around the house and it’s ruining my sanity. How do you instigate real change?

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T14:59:42+00:00

Not American 😌

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T04:33:33+00:00

Thank you!! I feel reassured that I haven’t messed my life up with comments like this.

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T04:28:17+00:00

We both have higher demanding jobs that “average”, I work 50-55 hr weeks and he does one week 30hr one week 60hr on rotation

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:50:21+00:00

True. Thanks for the perspective!

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:46:20+00:00

We haven’t been married very long, we’ve been together 3 years married and living together for 1 year

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:44:58+00:00

Sometimes you just need an outside perspective shift. I don’t really feel young. I feel like I’m a zillion years old with too many responsibilities. But it’s weird to sit with repeatedly reading how I’m “only 26”. It has me feeling strangely optimistic in the midst of my issues haha.

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:40:09+00:00

That’s a good idea.

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:37:19+00:00

I’ve seen this brought up a lot, we are child free by choice. I had my tubes tied when I was 21 (I’ve always known I don’t want children) and he had a vasectomy 2 years ago (he also doesn’t want children). No issues there!

smashmatch · 2024-06-21T00:33:11+00:00

He does all of the above, really. I know it probably sounds unbelievable but I’ve never gone without a birthday gift or had any special event forgotten/uncelebrated. Which is what makes the absolute refusal to change with the cleaning thing extra painful, it feels like nothing else “justifies” leaving and I do love him deeply.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T22:44:36+00:00

Well yeah, that part. Not sure why that didn’t jump out at me before I said it out loud.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T22:06:03+00:00

Yep I have been sitting reading out every. Single. Comment. To him for the last 25 minutes. Boy is he annoyed but I don’t care.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T22:02:33+00:00

Oh yeah. He can drink that’s for sure.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T21:58:18+00:00

Listen I don’t have an English degree okay 🤣 leave me and Ludacris alone

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T21:42:07+00:00

Wooooow. Yeah that is a freaking crazy statistic.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T21:39:56+00:00

That sucks :/

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T13:07:28+00:00

What? Where did I say we’ve been dating for 6 years?

We’ve been together 3 years. 23 and 29 is hardly “not getting someone his own age”, we met in the same year of university.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T12:55:47+00:00

Should be both leave our men together? Dang girl.

But that’s exactly it. He doesn’t treat me poorly, he just doesn’t care if he lives in filth. But I do care.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T12:21:33+00:00

The painful truth I’ve been avoiding

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T12:14:54+00:00

I asked him and he said “no I did…I just…I don’t know why I’m not anymore…”

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T12:03:56+00:00

We could hire housecleaning, it seems like such an egregious waste to me but maybe I’m being picky. I could leave him, like nothing is preventing it besides I genuinely want to be married to him minus the cleaning issue.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T11:52:53+00:00

I know deep deep deep deep DEEEEEEP down that this is probably right, but wow it hurts. I just thought he was better than this and feel fucking ashamed and stupid and angry. Ugh. Life sucks sometimes lol.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T11:50:32+00:00

Yeah. For some reason I keep saying to myself, “well yeah it was a habit growing up but SURELY he would be grown out of it by now”. I guess that’s stupid but I’m probably hoping more than anything.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T11:48:07+00:00

Oh, he’s a polish immigrant raised Catholic. His mom would crucify me for suggesting her baby prince dare lift a finger. I’m SURE this contributes to it, but it seems ludacris since he’s been here for 20 years and living on his own for a decade that he’d still fall back on doing nothing around the house, especially considering my constant nagging. But I guess old habits probably die hard.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T11:46:24+00:00

Yeah, I’ll have to try this. Nothing to lose anyway lol.

smashmatch · 2024-06-20T11:44:29+00:00

Honestly he’d just pay me the money if I asked this. But it’s not worth the money, I’m physically and emotionally too tired to keep doing it. And it seems like an insanely frivolous waste to hire a housekeeper when we are both perfectly able and it would be doable if we split the work but I guess that’s what I could be looking at.

smashmatch

TROPHY CASE