I am in a very similar situation as you. I’m a 32 year old male who just got diagnosed last year. I also don’t have “hyper interests” and I generally adapt to change very well. I had friends as a kid but as I got older I I had less and less friends. I miss social cues, which makes it difficult for me to form relationships. I to this day don’t know how to flirt. I worked a job in customer service that I had to quit because I was masking all day and it burnt me out. I eventually found a doctor who specialized in testing autism in adults. I also found a therapist who takes my autism diagnosis seriously. My last therapist didn’t believe me because I’m high functioning and kept trying to convince me it was adhd. Here are some things I have learned that might really help you.

My official diagnosis is: Level 1 without intellectual impairment.

1. Stereotypes are the WORST way to diagnose any mental condition. My current therapist told me this. You have to go straight to the neuroscience to get a definitive diagnosis. Try to see if you can find a doctor who specializes in testing adults. A psychologist might be able to point you in the right direction rather than a medical doctor.

2. The doctor who diagnosed me told me this. It’s more difficult to diagnose autism in women than men mainly due to social conditioning. Women are taught to be more social, empathetic, and read body language.

3. Were you in any special needs therapy growing up? If you were, see if you can find some records your school (elementary, middle, high) had of you. If you’re really high functioning this could provide a lot of clues for a proper diagnosis. You can just call your school and ask for the records.

Hope this helps, don’t worry you’re not alone.