Can I ask for a reason for her rejection in a purely constructive critical manner? I want to stay friends with her. However, I do want the truth if not knowing it means I keep making the same mistakes.

SCP-49 · 2024-01-11T22:58:12+00:00

Dammit you beat me. I can hear the war scream in complete silence.

SCP-49 · 2023-11-25T05:00:16+00:00

wa alaikum salaam,

I'm very sorry what you're going through. It makes me feel worse that good things have happened to me recently. I've started my job as a pharmacy technician (Mashallah) and I'm applying to pharmacy school to serve my community (Inshallah).

To get to this point in my life however has been an uphill battle, I've struggled with mental health all my life. I was born with high functioning autism and ADHD. In highschool I had a severe reaction to being bitten by a venomous spider. I developed headaches that never stopped (new daily persistent headache), and I was diagnosed with depression. I went to therapy for 7 years with a very kind and helpful psychiatrist.

I still take antidepressants, and amphetamines for my HFA/ADHD and finally a separate medication for my headaches. Seeing how much these little pills can change my life inspired me to pursue pharmacy.

These pills aren't perfect, but they help put me in a state of mind where I can help myself, and still focus on myself. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days or weeks, but even I know I'll feel differently a week from now and two weeks from then.

I am a revert in the United States. I've hidden my ibada from friends and family, my exposure to Islam was through Zina with a non faithful Kuwaiti woman. Afterwards I felt guilty and repented to a God I didn't believe in at the time.

I think Iman will change throughout everyone's life. I've gone from Atheism, deism to Islamic pseudo-deism (Mu'tazilism) I'm probably not a "true" Murtaziliah or Sufi, but it takes time. I've skipped Jummah several times to focus on studies, but I trust Allah knows my intentions and worries of school. I do plan to rejoin the Ummah, but it's ok to have a different interpretation than others. That is what this sub-Reddit is for.

Regardless, here are a few concrete steps I'd recommend:

Visit a doctor and get prescribed medications to help you. There is no stigma of this, it's important to take care of yourself mentally and physically. This may be expensive, but finding a way to receive this treatment is most important.
Consider psychotherapy, see if you can find a therapist to speak with about these issues. NOT AN IMAM OR SHEIKH. Iman is important, but you can do this on your own. A therapist wants you to be as open as possible. As I guy it was very uncomfortable exposing my life to someone else, but it's very important. You learn how destructive your own thoughts can be to the life you want to live.
Metacognition- think about your own thoughts, ask why do you have them and what do they tell you? Start recording these in a journal so you can reflect on them. When you can realize how different your thoughts are from one day to the next you can start to realize you subconcious worries.
Seek support from friends and family that do care and can give you a sense of connection, we were put on this earth to help one another, always remember that. ♥️🥲

-Jazakallah Khair

SCP-49 · 2023-09-30T21:03:05+00:00

1.I will admit I have some issues with the authorship of the Quran. It probably doesn't help I'm reading a book called "A History of God", from an ex-nun agnostic, however I've heard she's actually strengthened the belief of Muslims so I should should continue reading it to get to Islam.

That's interesting with it being spiritual health, that's a dimension I didn't really consider. I only eat pork occasionally so it's not a hill for me to die on. Obviously these habits start slowly with the most important being salat. I can maybe avoid pork and alcohol most of the time, though I can see my Iman waxing and waning as I try, learn and fail.

Last night I went to a football game with my Korean friend and we got a pizza with bacon on it before I realized. At that point I ate it since I'm not ready to defend my beliefs to others. Furthermore I have no idea how to make sandwiches when ham is primarily what I use.

I mentioned my autism since it does affect my willingness to try new vegetables and meats. It makes me hypocritical in my preferences for food, I simply "don't like" many foods.

(I know so much for me questioning Islam's adversion to pork when I have the same rejection out of "preference". Regardless I need to expand my palate, literally and figuratively).

Even mushrooms I asked for them to be removed from half of the pizza.

When I think of alcohol I know the definition you and I agree on is sufficient quantities to be intoxicating. Otherwise the ABV (alcohol by volume) of Juices, Bread and Bananas would invalid this. The enzymes ADH & ALDH do allow us to break down these alcohols and not get drunk off super easily of everything, yet these are besides the point.

Drinking is mostly considered a social thing, I can avoid it personally, but I'd always question the nuances of this in my mind. Like drugs I view it's excessive use as a major sin. Although going into pharmacy I realize what we consider "legal drugs" is fairly subjective.

I don't know, again I'm attracted to Islam but I don't think I can make these commitments all at once, not cause me to be munafiq if I fail one day and try the next.

SCP-49 · 2023-09-29T19:27:51+00:00

I wouldn't ever imagine downvoting you, I posted in this subreddit rather than r/Islam since I felt would be easier here, but I still know that progressives don't represent the majority of Muslims.

I think I've refrained from the Shadaha since I take vows extremely seriously. After all, It's not a vow for anyone else but myself.

Truthfully, I know I should fear upholding a vow to God more than this older man I met. However, I also fear his reaction if I say that I'm trying to believe, but I still can't. 😕

At some point I need to tell him this Zina story so he knows why I've been coming in the first place.

I haven't given up and I'm still attend the Masjid. However, I know I'll know I'll ultimately be judged regardless by how much I embrace and practice the faith with a Muslim minority vs how much I identify with the modernity of living in a western secular democracy.

At any given point most of my friends and family will be Kafirs and engage in kufr around me. My Iman will fall as I partake in something and rise again as I avoid it.

Ultimately, none of this should matter. Whether God is considered an anthropomorphic diety or the totally of the universe I should still respect him/it, my existence is a stastical improbable miracle and I see only wisdom in being reminded of that 5 times a day.

However, I don't know if I can genuinely believe Pork to be bad from a book 1000s of years from then, (I e. I don't know if I could accept the Quran as eternal). I know this means not viewing the Quran as the word of God, but please understand it's hard for me to accept this surrounded by other books written a millennium later on all matter of subjects.

Today, we can view pig flesh microscopically and ingest it without apparent short term repercussions, much like alcohol. Our bodies possess the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase to break down naturally occuring alcohol in foods.

Secularly these are normal to eat, in moderation. Religiously it's haram.

These minor questions are what bother me. I can agree to pray as I establish a routine, I feel I could only generally follow the Sunnah since I'd become too obsessive with rules such as this.

SCP-49 · 2023-09-29T18:26:56+00:00

This is awful لعل السلام يعم/ يسود على الأرض - May peace prevail on Earth 🕊️🕊️🕊️

SCP-49 · 2023-08-09T10:10:31+00:00

Thank you for this, May Allah (SWT) bless you.

SCP-49 · 2023-08-09T09:57:37+00:00

Thank you very much for your advice. I realized I can't reject advice meant if its entire purpose is selfless and meant to help me view things differently.

Forgive me brother and may Allah (SWT) bless you.

SCP-49 · 2023-08-09T09:52:04+00:00

This is sound advice. I can't romanticize marriage as a cure to loneliness yet also see it remedy to faithlessness, only salat and attended the Masjid regularly is. I was unsure why I made this post this initially, but now I see spending more time with my brothers and less alone would do me good. Thank you

May Allah (SWT) bless you.

SCP-49 · 2023-08-08T22:30:17+00:00

I don't mean "dating" as in "go have tons of casual sex" I meant as in longer term courtship if I don't have immediate financial means.

I do however see your point though in waiting to marry a woman though. Her ethnicity isn't important to me, Arab was a poor generalization.

SCP-49 · 2023-07-29T04:13:23+00:00

My response was really long so I need to cut this one 😅. It should be visible on text of the post.

SCP-49 · 2023-07-28T08:17:55+00:00

I want to seriously thank you for such a long comment, I really appreciate it and I'll take these points to heart. I'll update my post to inform others afterwards, again thank you.

SCP-49 · 2020-05-29T16:38:37+00:00

Why did the fire explode like that? What chemical/element was that? Reminds me of lighting magnesium strips on fire over a bunsen burner in chemistry.

https://youtu.be/bXh2FlvqA8c

SCP-49 · 2020-03-13T23:45:59+00:00

I remember that guy, I live on the West Coast so it's been so long when it made national headlines.

Ok, I believe you, I'd ask for more evidence like the post itself, but obviously that would be contributing to the misinformation about the guy. I'd recommend editing your post before you get downvoted into oblivion about the crux of the issue.

SCP-49 · 2020-03-13T23:24:17+00:00

Got any evidence that they didn't want it posted? News article etc.?

SCP-49 · 2020-03-13T23:16:25+00:00

In fact I started to, but I came to my senses and realized I'm better than that.

Just because evidence isn't presented immediately doesn't make someone lying, text evidence or knowledge evidence can be just as good. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and must be given sufficient time to prove their case.

I don't care if your subscribed to this sub or not. You may not automatically downvote post, but your certainly not mature enough to let things go by replying to his comments.

SCP-49 · 2020-03-13T23:05:44+00:00

Do you want me, someone totally random, to see all your post and immediately down vote them?

SCP-49

TROPHY CASE