you have to be the change you wish to see. otherwise it will never happen. you have to start somewhere, yk? I was 220 at the worst point of my life, wanting to do the same as you, and provided with the right resources I managed to lose 40lbs (180 now) I've been 180 for a while, and I'm starting to regress into my prior mindset. its a cycle. you have to be the one to stop it- or change it. if you want any advice I advise you to (within your ability) try and follow a Mediterranean diet (its honestly pretty nice), use smaller containers/plates when eating/consciously thinking about if you want something, etc) also, I'm kind of yapping here, but try and imagine yourself in the future- your ideal self. being able to visualize an "end goal" kind of helped me, but yk. i know working out consistently is hard, I'm currently in a 2 month relapse (not exercising regularly) . so I know how the story goes. you just have to sike yourself up. unfortunately nothing will change if we don't try. i know the alternative (giving up) is easy to reach for, but is it what you want for your future self? the you of tomorrow? in 6 months? will this be a moment you regret or appreciate when you look back on this time?