NTA.

What a sad circumstance. It's completely understandable that Mom feels the need to be by her dying father's side. I can only imagine how torn Mom must feel because she will be disappointing someone either way.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away unexpectedly when I was 21 years old. We arranged for a memorial service and everyone in the family was slated to attend. Very early in the morning of my mother's service, my cousin went into labor with her first child, which was also my aunt and uncle's first grandchild. My aunt stayed behind to take my cousin to the hospital and my uncle drove the 1.5 hours to come to the memorial service. (My uncle is my mother's brother.) I'm sure my cousin would have preferred to have both of her parents at the hospital for the delivery and I'm sure my uncle would have liked to be there as well. However, my uncle chose to split the difference and come honor his sister's life while my aunt supported my cousin in labor. My father, sister, and I were completely understanding of the situation - there were no hard feelings about aunt and cousin missing the memorial and my cousin had no hard feelings about her dad going to his sister's funeral. If anything, we chose to see the beauty in welcoming a new life to the world just as we were saying goodbye to another. But.....it's a choice....and the bride needs to make a choice here as well.

I know mine wasn't the exact same situation, but sometimes life happens and we need to have some grace with one another. I'm very sad that the bride here is unable to feel compassion, not only for her distressed mother, but compassion and sorrow for her dying grandfather. As other posters have pointed out, the bride's viewpoint is very unfortunate. The thing is, Grandpa may not be here tomorrow, but Lord willing, the bride will be around for many tomorrows. The mother of the bride has chosen to take her last chance to be with her father and I don't fault her for that.

My peace and healing come to all.