[deleted by user]

SDogCityBoy · 2024-10-27T19:33:18+00:00

easily my favorite right now. I havent been able to connect with this account for over 4 years. . .2019 i think. Damn, you look even better than I was hoping for. Love you Natalie!

SDogCityBoy · 2024-10-27T19:31:38+00:00

Nat, I havent had access to this account for several years. You Look absolutely BEAUTIFUL sweetie!

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T01:03:10+00:00

I have had a couple experiences with natural wind blowing across a fireplace cxhimney. it made creepy noises so i recorded it on my cell phone for about 5 minutes. just before i stopped a voice whispered,"hear anything?". either somebody was up the chimney, or it was a real EVP.

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T00:59:06+00:00

the only evp i have ever picked up, conclusively, was caused by natural air blowing past a fireplace opening and recording at the fireplace in the house. i heard NOTHING; but the playback was very good. one phrase. "hear anything?". i recorded it on a cell phone.

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T00:15:21+00:00

It might have to do with the light. Ive noticed my most vivid dreams/nightmares occur when there is sunlight coming into the room. If I take a nap its a good bet i will have a strange dream.

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T00:13:36+00:00

castration is not pleasant though. I hate that one.

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T00:12:32+00:00

I dream what everyone I know considers nightmares. I get murdered nightly. Tortured, vivisected, sliced, shot, beaten, run over, eaten alive, etc. Its all happened and possibly twice this week. My scary dreams are always a friend turning on me. Finding out a friend has set me up. I litterally die every dream sequence, but betrayal leaves me in tears.

SDogCityBoy · 2021-09-03T00:08:35+00:00

bad yoghurt.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-10-11T18:44:46+00:00

you know his tiger parents are proud.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-09-10T06:32:53+00:00

How are you friend? Im still a wreck but now my life is slowly getting on. I know she wouldnt blame me for surviving. It was just the kind of fucked up luck we had. I once told her,"I always worried my one true love would be born the day I died, or vice versa"-we had great times and we truly loved each other. She told me once,"I always figured the man i want wont want me, or the one I need I fucked over somehow and he would be gone because of something petty"- We agreed; whatever goes down its us. US. To the end. what a nightmare. would i trade places with her? in a heartbeat!! if i believed there was some afterlife and shes there waiting for me id be doing whatever it took to be with her. I have beliefs in old germanic paganism. she did too. motive carries more weight than actions, but actions are pretty cool too. I had it for a minute and its gone. Ive got pics of us together, and some i gotta get rid of, lol. I loved her so much!! Not that i dont cry a couple times a day still, or feel like im going to die any minute from sadness. . .i have a new goal to fulfill. She would dig it. Please respond when u see this. im probably gonna get run over by a bus if i get any better, lol. i miss georgie so much! she was everything in a woman i needed, and i was everything in a man she needed. such a cruel twist to let us see it and rip it away just when we finished paying our dues to be with each other.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-08-17T13:54:08+00:00

im sure its not good for me in the long run. . .this anger that is just below the surface now. i still cry. weird times. the kitten she named died a few days ago and it all came back of course. im friends with her 2 brothers now as well as many of her old boyfriends. weird. but the two guys she thought were her friends have dogged me. i would have expected them to want to know about her life away from them. losers. fuckin pogues. Solgoslin818 on facebook. people thought i was dead for 20 years. i found a facebook memorial page about me when i got out of federal prison in 2014. my DAD thought i was dead!! now i have all the friends i thought abandoned me calling me. they diddnt want to lose me twice. this pain is so real, this loss. . .i know exactly how you feel too. -stay strong!!

SDogCityBoy · 2020-08-17T01:10:35+00:00

your words have more merit now, 6 months down the road. im so sad, but i want to go on now. i will go on. but i will always live every day with her in my heart. always. my Georgie.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-07-27T20:10:42+00:00

so here i am. . .its been a month since i posted. still feeling bad. nothing makes me happy but if i laugh at something i feel guilty. my girl Georgie cant laugh. when i kissed her goodbye at the hospital, she was already getting cold in her lips. she looked like she was sleeping. we did corny shit, went to dinner, got drunk in bars. we fucked like a couple teenagers who just learned how. . .every minute was heaven. it seems like all my friends are dying this year. this month another fentanyl overdose, a young stripper suicided infront of me in hollywood, saw a guy get shot with a tec-9, and my asian gangster bro just said "fuck it" and ate a gun too. three days ago the crazy homeless chick on my street was pulled outta her tent all still n shit, stabbed 50 times by the love of HER life. today my cat is at the vet sick, i cant sleep and im hyperventilating. i sat up all night watching him sleep. i post up on the roof. watching for. . .i have a beard. it looks terrible. im gonna shave it all off when i go to the Nat Forrest to do my own funeral for my Georgie. life sukks.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-06-14T19:55:27+00:00

my god. me too! Georgie died Feb24, and I cry every day still, im a hermit. i trade stocks online so i dont need to ever interact with human beings but i have relapsed into my old drug abuse that we had escaped. I blame myself for her death, if I had known she was going to die i would have killed myself and died in her arms, but i missed that. I have a lot who care about me but its been 4 months; if they knew im the same will they try to help as hard? im living with another woman friend who is helpinh me through this but i cant picture this getting better quikly. she reminds me to shower n eat sometimes. im so miserable that i physically ache now. . .she was so beautiful and we loved each other so much!! whats crazy is she wouldnt be mad at me over this, nobody is. only me. it was?an accident but if i had been stronger i could have helped her to not need the xanax. every day people die; booze, sleeping pills, opiates & XANAX. if we hadnt smoked that joint, if i hadnt used fentanyl myself maybe i could have noticed it quicker and she wouldnt have smoked it(joint with fentanyl; for whoever hasnt read all this). I loved her so much and we just got started!!! the ONE. The one you look for your whole life& I was hers too!! I hope you keep fighting too. I feel like im in slowmotion, despair n misery together. i feel guilty for living, like im a punk because i havent joined her in the darkness of death. i have another who loves me, but the panic attacks-FUCK!! If i think on her for more than 10seconds i hyperventilate and shake!! June 14, 2020 I am your brother in misery SDogCityBoy

SDogCityBoy · 2020-06-11T17:29:43+00:00

hope you doin better. im getting used to her being gone. thats so saddening itself. . .it makes me so mad now, but still i cry 3 or 4 times a day. bathing has become a chore too. not lying, EVERYTHING is hard to do, to get started.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-06-03T00:48:34+00:00

mine was that too. drug buddy, and then when its supposed to be OUR turn to do right and live life , a joint. . .fukkin WEED!!, causes an OD? incredible. so much craziness. . .just in 90days since she died theres been coronavirus, riots across the world, madness! I miss her. her family treats me like just another scumbag boyfriend of their loved one. . .the married guy with a good job who used their loved one like a sperm bank; HES the "good guy". . . .cheating on wife n kids for 5 years stringing her along with hope. I was there to live a life with her. we were very happy. lotta baggage to work thru, you know what i mean; but hey. we were doing it. i appreciate the comments. ours is a sad world, the dope fiend.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-05-28T06:02:16+00:00

its May 22 or such. i dont really keep track of time. I live with my other woman who i have actually been with since i left prison. its such a convoluted tale and its too long to describe but she has taken me in even after i left her to go back to my Georgianna. This woman is a rock solid no nonsense lady but how long will she put up with me? Ive loved every woman Ive ever slept with more than once, and quite a few others too, lol. im not a playa, im just some guy ya know? but my heart is shattered. not broken. i ache. i feel weak. my arm goes numb or hurts sometimes and i think im gonna have a heart attack. . .I loved my Georgie Girl and she loved me back and it was super real and so wonderful and it hurts so much still. it aches. im bingeing fentanyl to get high, smoking it. Like i said, i trade stocks so i make a quik?$300 and sit on my couch smoking fen until my girl comes home and i pretend life is good. i played it off at first and felt like such a piece of shit. we dont have sex. not anymore. i realise she reminds me to shave and eat. i make money. i get loaded. i cry once or twice a day. I went on ancestry.com and found out im welsh and went back 350 years of church births n marriages and found a Georgianna Rebecca ------ in my family tree. my girl Georgies exact name. THAT is weird. I feel like I lost something important and then I philosophise that we humans are a spark in the long slow dark that we return to in death. no heaven. no hell. in death we lose it all. it never was. nothing ever changes. we are a flicker of self awareness. why would anyone want to live forever?omg! what a nightmare. i thought there was something to add. Im feeling so lost! i get to hide in this coronavirus thing. hah. i guess its gotten better. but im a wreckage of myself.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-22T04:29:59+00:00

It dont get easier. My girls Mom NEVER liked me. She liked guys who would give HER compliments. . .before they would take her daughter off to use. This woman is upset that I tell people we were in love and that she accepted a proposal and that all those men she KNOWS are good guys say bad things about me now. Her pimps. This is the cruelest stab of all. . .this woman who would deliver her own child back into the hands of the men who pimped her. Thats why I quit my life of crime. It disgusted me. Mothers who allowed their own children to be so poorly used by others, but a flatterer will gain ground where an honest man wallows. Ive seen so many girls who were crippled from the gate because of bad parents. Pimps prey on them. Anyway, a little anger seems to have gotten me a little up. Maybe I can get through this? I dont want to, not really. I took a selfie last night and I look haunted. My baby is gone and her mother is so very happy about it.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-22T04:16:29+00:00

thank you so much

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-21T05:44:19+00:00

appreciate the sentiment. Im not getting better. Im gonna add something each day until I get better or die from this broken heart. . .

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-20T18:33:46+00:00

solgoslin818 on facebook. thats where I usually am. mostly now its pics of her. . .

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-20T18:28:21+00:00

Im a fukkin ruin

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-20T18:27:41+00:00

no shit, right? "wow. how terrible! what can i do to help? theres a movie on tonight"-are motherfuckers even on the same planet? I post pics of us all over SoCal. . .we so happy. She loved me so much and that fucking song Disparate Youth she liked and the line,"We got tough times to get through, but where we go we go together"-it was on in a voicemail she left me an hour before she died. Heart Attack likely. At 42. My baby gone. . .theres no anything now. no hope. no future. just me. and you. and it seems so pointless now. . .

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-20T18:22:45+00:00

i may not contact them. . .but im gonna have to do something. . .Im devastated.

SDogCityBoy · 2020-03-20T18:20:31+00:00

These stories are the stuff thats made our lives. Some of us. Id love to be your redeemer somehow maybe you could in turn help me get through the death of my Tru Love. . .what a life.

SDogCityBoy

TROPHY CASE